04/12/11

What Will Await Me?

"Six Months in Sudan" by Dr. James Maskalyk

The image I have below is the cover of a book titled “Six Months in Sudan” by Dr. James Maskalyk, a Canadian doctor that worked in the field through MSF (Médecins Sans Frontières – Doctors Without Borders) in 2007. I first heard of this book through a seminar held by UBC’s STAND about a week ago, and have been looking for a place to either borrow it from or buy it for my own. Luckily, I found it in the bookshelves of my local public library back in Coquitlam.

“Six Months in Sudan” recounts the day-to-day events experienced by Dr. James Maskalyk in the war-torn village of Abyei, Sudan as he acted as the designated attending physician in the village. Even his experience as a doctor in Canadian hospital emergency wards could not have prepared him for the crisis that awaited him in Abyei. This is a story about foreign aid and the struggles experienced by one man as he observed the situation in Sudan from a neutral standpoint – a témoignage.

Although I’ve only just started reading this book, I already have a couple of deep thoughts about it. Maskalyk starts his story at the ‘end’ of his journey – a month after he had returned from Sudan. He recounts the distance he feels from his family and friends as he reminisces back to his time back in the field. He then rewinds to the beginning of his journey, when he was working through the logistics of his departure. Maskalyk’s reasoning for heading to Sudan really stuck with me as I flipped through the pages of his book:

“I wanted to see who I was when everything was taken from me, when there was no insulation between me and the rest of the world.”

This made me think about what kind of human being I would be when everything that I had was taken from me. I mean, how much does what I possess define who I am? How would I act if I lived in a war-torn country, if I had barely anything to eat, if I had nearly nothing at all? Would I still be the person that I am here in a country like Canada?

I’ll have similar thoughts racing through my head until I finish this book. Reading about Dr. Maskalyk’s experiences in foreign aid makes me question the reasons in which I’m going into Global Health for and if I’m really just being idealistic about the world in which I live in. There’s so many places I have yet to see, so many people that I have yet to meet. I’m so insulated in this comfortable bubble called my life that I feel very ignorant about what’s going on around the rest of the world. I want to know more. I want to see more and experience it. But I’m also terrified of what awaits me out there. I fear that I won’t be able to handle the horrors calmly enough to work towards what is beautiful.

But I can’t stand being so ignorant about everything either.

04/5/11

My lens on the world and humanity.

The world is so vast and diverse; it constantly changes before my eyes as the lens in which I view ‘the world’ broadens with everything I learn and experience. The world is beautiful – full of extraordinary places that I dream of visiting someday. It is also cruel, but only because as humans we make it so. I distinguish the natural world and the constructed world we call civilization, communities, and society separately. It’s amazing how we often take more value in our built environments even though everything we use comes directly from resources of the natural environment. I think that’s a mentality that needs to change. If you really think about it, laws, facts (although well supported), religion, social expectations…they are all human inventions based on what we as humans have constructed as ‘logic’. It doesn’t necessarily mean that this human sense of ‘logic’ is always right – it merely is the one sensical thing that we base much of what we know on. Knowing that what we see to be ‘proper’ or ‘right’ is merely one lens in viewing the world, I think it’s crucial to understand that lens change and so do mentalities. Nothing is static in this world of ours, natural or constructed.

We are terribly flawed. I like to think of three human traits when I think of humanity (not all necessarily bad).

Humans are selfish. I believe that there is no such thing as a selfless act, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We are all selfish and no matter the choice or action, there is always a tiny part of us that is driven by that selfishness. whether it’d be the good feeling one gets in helping others or sacrificing oneself to save a loved one, there is a selfish portion of ourselves that wants something to be a certain way.

Humans strive for ‘happiness’. I don’t know if there’s a person out there who doesn’t want to be happy, no matter what kind of happiness they wish for. More often than not, what a person defines as their own ‘happiness’ (ie. money and fame as general examples) means putting down the happiness of others around them. This pursuit of happiness links to our natural selfish desire to put ourselves first a lot of the time as well.

Humans are often full of themselves. Many of us are hypocrites by saying we’re not. The ‘meaning of life’, ‘destiny’, taking all of the resources we want and putting our constructed environments before the rest of the natural world – I see all of these as points of arrogance for humanity. Who decided to proclaim that humans are better than any other living organism on the planet? Our intelligence? Again, what makes our line of logic ‘right’? It’s just another way we make sense of the world. Everyone at one time or another yearns to know ‘why they are here’, as if there is some sort of logical reason for life and our very existence. Is it wrong of me to think that this kind of logic is arrogant?  I just see it as trying to narrow the world into our narrow lens of ‘logic’. Is it so incomprehensible to believe that we aren’t special – that we weren’t put on this planet for a purpose? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with believing that sort of thing – even I wonder about it sometimes. It’s only human to try to make sense of things in the only way we know how. But I just see it as us being full of ourselves by believing we can make sense of everything there is to know and believing that to be ‘right’. I will state that the qualities of intelligence and curiosity in humans has been beneficial to our kind immensely. It’s how we’ve come this far in our entire history. I just don’t like the hierarchal idea that humans are the highest life forms in the world and that everything else on the planet is free for us to label and use.

In the end, it isn’t our job to put tailor the world to our liking. Rather, we have to imagine and create ingenious ways to shaping ourselves to the world in which we live in a sustainable manner.

04/3/11

An apathetic society.

One of things I absolutely cannot stand is the state of apathy in our society. ‘I don’t care’, ‘It’s not my problem’, ‘Deal with it’, ‘I can’t do anything about it’ – phrases such as these only feed this indifferent mentality that we shouldn’t work to change the inequities of our society. Especially in the western world, the notion of independence – of ‘every man for himself’ – supports the excuse that society as a collective has no business dealing with the troubles of the individual. Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but hard work alone cannot move someone up the socio-economic ladder if the necessary resources aren’t there to support that someone in the first place. The commonplace ‘Rags-to-Riches’ fairy tale is often told but rarely seen. The truth of the matter is, there are people in need of help in the developed world as well as the developing world. Some can’t survive without some support. Indifference is just an excuse to turn a blind eye towards them.