So I’ve arrived in Seattle quite ahead of schedule, with stops to eat and shop at an outlet mall (I needed a folding shoulder bag and found a beautiful one on sale) with my wonderful mother. The last couple of hours we had together calmed me down after the freak-out I had earlier in the morning. I felt good. Excited with butterflies in my tummy.

I was ready and bag check went smoothly, thankfully (hooray for early bird no lines!). But as soon as I turned to say good-bye to my mom in front of the security check, I saw her start to tear up, which triggered my own tears. I smiled and said farewell with lots of hugs, kisses, and tears as I walked towards security. Mom waited on the other side of the rope watching me as I drew farther away from her. Each second a part was painful and I felt like a 5-year-old lost alone in the mall. I couldn’t stop crying – still can’t really. I’m probably going to bawl on the entire plane ride to Iceland. And then to Norway. The full 10 hours. Nearby passengers are going to hate me.

I usually love wandering around on my own, but walking through the airport to find my gate was absolutely terrifying. I became Paranoid Parrot x 10000000000000000% as my brain kept believing that I had forgotten something important – which I hadn’t (at least I don’t think so).

So here I am, killing the 2-hour wait before I board the plane, ingraining the images of farewells and last looks I had with my family only this morning: my brother getting up at 6AM to say goodbye with a hug. My dog curiously watching me close the front door as I left the house. My dad surprising me by hoisting me up into the air for an enormous bear hug and never losing sight of the car as my mom and I drove away from home. My mom’s tear-stained smile as she finished hugging me gently for the third time.

Having a computer with internet access helps. Supportive FB messages and Tumblr replies (and even the cute tweet from my dad) keep me smiling. Yes, this is probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to deal with so far in my life. Yes, I am bawling my eyes out. Yes, I still firmly believe that I’m on the right path I’ve chosen for myself. This is it – my first step into the world. I will come back to Vancouver one day, but as of now let me call you… Home.