03/7/12

Tuum Est.

In Latin, it can be roughly translated into “It is yours.” The University of British Columbia wears this motto with pride, displaying it publicly on signs and crests wherever possible. For a long time, I haven’t really liked this translation.

“It is yours” makes it seem like everything in the world is mine for the taking – as if I’m entitled to the best of opportunities out there. It takes out the element of hard work required in making those doors open for myself. It’s saying I don’t have to lift a finger to get ahead in life. “It is yours” takes my education and all my good fortune in life for granted.

The truth is: it isn’t “mine” – at least not from the get-go. That’s why I like opting for an alternative translation that seems to better encompass my UBC experience and the way in which I try to live: “It is up to you.” No opportunity is a ring presented to me on a velvet pillow – it is a door to be wrenched open, to prop open with the tip of my toe, as I make my way through life.  Studying at UBC – studying abroad – merely being present in these environments won’t accomplish anything. Such settings provide me new avenues to explore and critical examine and re-evaluate constantly what I want to do with my life.

So tuum est! The world is large and full of as many wonders as horrors. It’s up to me to find a way to experience as many of the former, while critical working towards dealing with the latter. No one is going to make that happen for me.

03/5/12

Lost in the clouds.

I remember back when I used to chatter on and on about my passions and dreams to any passing person as I stared up at the night sky full of stars. The words always came so easily as they rolled off my tongue, brimming with confidence and longing. It’s as if saying them out loud would bring me one step closer in reaching for those stars.

I think somewhere along the line I’ve forgotten that part of myself. Or perhaps, now that I have taken off the ground, I am now lost in the midst of misty clouds, unable to see the stars as clearly as I once did. I don’t chatter on and on about my passions any more. I’m not as confident in my words as I once was. It’s as if I left a part of me on the ground that day as I took off into the sky. What happened to that girl?

If I know myself at all, I’m sure she’s still there chattering away where no one can see or hear her, staring up at the endless expanse we call sky.