01/15/12

Strength and Love

Without either, I would not be the person I am today. Strength and love are what I have after almost three years of learning to love and rediscover myself every day.

Strength lifted my head high towards the clouds when I felt so alone on the ground. I grow stronger every day. With every obstacle I face, I trip and stand taller than ever – ready for more. And in those moments when I feel as if I’ve lost all my strength – when I have fallen – I have love. I receive such wonderful love and support from my family and friends; I can count on them to give me a helping hand to reach for when I have tripped and can’t get up on my own. They give me my strength. Love is what gets me through each morning as I stand before my bathroom mirror. The lifelong romance I have with myself my most valuable relationship in my life. It is with this self-love in which I build my self-confidence, bravery, and determination in the pursuit of my many passions. It is self-love that returns me back to my roots – my identity – and what I stand for when I feel lost. And through self-love I am constantly rediscovering and reinventing myself. It is through learning how to love myself that I grew to understand and embrace being alone. Self-love taught me strength and it opened me up to embrace the love of those around me so I didn’t have to always be on my own. Truthfully, I am never alone anymore.

This morning, upon waking, I looked out the window up at the winter sky overhead. An endless blue. So full of wonder and at night, so full of stars. The stars dazzle me with the inspirational people I have met and the precious experiences I have thus gathered. These are the things that shown me the beauty of the sky. But it is the expanse of clear day blue – so limitless and serene – that excites me most. I ask myself what is up there waiting for me. I’m almost ready to sprint as I spread my wings for the first time and take off into that beautiful sky, ready for anything to be thrown in my way. After all, with strength and love, I am unstoppable.

10/19/11

Always Ask.

It never hurts to. Unless the worst thing you fear is rejection. For someone like me, asking was always a last resort. Asking for help was a sign of weakness. So I bottled emotions up. I kept to myself and didn’t let it show when I was frustrated or upset. I didn’t really let anyone help me. I broke down pretty easily.

Now, I ask. I ask even if it makes me feel stupid or silly for asking. It’s still difficult sometimes, but it’s getting easier.

I’ve found just ASKING makes my life much easier. Things I initially thought I couldn’t get around I’ve found ways to, just by asking. I’ve learned to rely on people. I’ve learned to recognize when I do need help.

I call for help when I’m feeling a breakdown coming along. I vent. I cry. The people who listen pat me on the back and set me straight. I feel lighter after asking for help. The burden lessened. It’s not weak to ask for help – it’s weak not to.

My life has gotten much more complex as the years have gone by, but I’ve overcome the challenges by asking for help when I need it. I’m much happier now.

It never hurts to ask. You’ll be surprised at how many doors open up for you when you do.