To: Konstantin Mestnikov (ENGL 301 Student)
From: Madison Strasman (ENGL 301 Student)
Date: July 27, 2022
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
This formal report draft is helpful to TechNote users. The following small reccomendations will assist in better improving the report.
First Impressions
- The report was very well written
- Good content and understanding
- Excellent use of subheadings
Content
- The content of your report is well written and described
- The concepts are easy to follow even if unfamiliar with TechNotes
- Language remains concise and clear for reader
- Revise Table of Contents to include subheadings and their page number
Organization
- “Because the maximum number of edges in a simple graph is proportional to the square of number of nodes in the graph, high edge density and high number of edge crossing are common problems that occur even in relatively small graphs.”
- Break down this sentence into two or three smaller ones
- Do not begin sentence with ‘because’
- “The last set of decluttering techniques relate to graph modifications that are specific to graphs that represent networks of individuals, companies, (and) organizations.”
- Include ‘and’ between second and last list item
- “In our opinion, it may take anywhere from 1 month, if no changes to the underlying system are necessary, anywhere to 3 months, if a new framework needs to be used and optimizations for performance made.”
- Write one month and three months
- Capitalize Scope of the Inquiry first bullet point
Style
- “In our opinion, it may take anywhere from 1 month, if no changes to the underlying system are necessary, anywhere to 3 months, if a new framework needs to be used and optimizations for performance made.”
- Who is ‘our’?
- “Since type-hiding, community detection and finding cliques are already implemented in the system, the cost of employing them is essentially 0.”
- Write out ‘zero’
- “Thus, in our opinion, the layout may take approximately 1-1.5 month of work for a single developer.”
- Write out ‘one’ and ‘one and a half’
- Check for use of past tense
- ‘arranged’, ‘perceived’, ‘produced’
Design
- Page 6-7 graphic breaks up text
- Having the figure below this section will help to better improve your design
- Method of Inquiry, Data, Alternative Graph Layout Strategy section to be changed to present tense
- Capitalize all major words in titles eg. Scope of Inquiry, Alterntive Graph Layout Strategy, Survey Results on Effectiveness of Decluttering Techniques
- Indent all paragraphs
- Good use of graphics to assist with understanding text
If you have any questions, please email me at mmstrasman@gmail.com. I look forward to reading your report after revisions.
Best of luck,
Madison Strasman