The most compelling argument for Mr. Cook’s Shakespeare conspiracy

In my final year of high school, I took Literature 12 with Mr. Cook, who was a firm believer of a Shakespeare conspiracy. When I say “firm believer,” I mean firm believer: he introduced the idea simply as though it was fact, as if it were common knowledge that “Shakespeare” was actually Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford. One of Mr. Cook’s biggest qualms with the idea of William Shakespeare having penned “Shakespeare’s” plays and poems was the (alleged) unlikelihood that some small town boy from Stratford-upon-Avon could dream up the politics of the aristocracy or royalty, of foreign countries, far-off places.

Today, I visited Stratford-upon-Avon, supposedly the most convincing piece of evidence that William Shakespeare couldn’t be the father of British English literature, the literary genius that the discipline holds him up to be. You understand how the idea dismantles a great bulk of my academic field: though I am not the most familiar with Shakespeare’s works as far as an English major goes, and I am skeptical of the British white male canon in general, I was eager to make a pilgrimage to Shakespeare’s home.

Although it is quite a bustling tourist destination now, with shops and cafes and big tour buses rolling through it, the market town’s medieval grid pattern of streets is still preserved, for the most part, meaning that Shakespeare would have little trouble navigating the town if he were to walk through it today.

Far from high street and the Shakespeare Centre, however, it is different. “I like it here… it’s quiet,” my incredibly hospitable host, Tita Ma’an, commented as we walked to Holy Trinity Church and the site of Shakespeare’s grave.

Its oozing Englishness and quiet streets hardly suggest to me an inability to write about royalty or Verona. As we walked back to the Shakespeare Centre, I looked about me at Stratford-upon-Avon and thought: If I grew up in this town, I would enjoy nothing more than imagining thrilling worlds.

This is not to say that I feel like Shakespeare felt stifled in Stratford-on-Avon. When we visited Sherwood Forest later in the day, there was no signal, and all I wanted to do was write; I imagine Shakespeare felt far freer to focus on his writing in his small town than he did in London. More to that point, the houses of the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust (Shakespeare’s birthplace, the garden now planted where his last house once stood, and the home of his eldest daughter) impressed upon me the value of family to William Shakespeare. The immense love, care, and heartbreak of Shakespeare’s family life show themselves in his work. From passionate sonnets to despairing parents who have lost their children, it is clear that life at home inspired Shakespeare as much as imagining Venice and Rome did.

Sitting in a cold Coquitlam classroom, the idea of alternative Shakespeares seemed almost possible. But walking through the streets and homes of Shakespeare’s life, you realize that the man did not need to live his plays to write them, and that beauty does not discriminate. Beauty—even of the simple kind—can beget wondrous beauty.

Dazed first days in England

Fear, I am finding, is a matter of being afraid, but doing anyway. Of course, at the highest point of my terror (a gradual building up until the moment I had to say goodbye to Nate at airport security), by which time I had already paid for a plane ticket, summer school in Edinburgh, hostel accommodations, etc., I had little choice but to go, but the point stands, I think!

I was so incredibly sad to leave home, a note which might surprise many of you, as it did for me; after talking about these plans for so long (beyond a year!) it seems almost silly that I was so deeply affected by saying goodbye to my beloved Vancouver.

Beyond sad, I was also fearful (as I’ve already established) of all the things I can’t plan or don’t know, but of the things I do know, I know that I am so lucky. To be a young woman of colour, able to be on my own on the other side of the world so long as I am armed with common sense and constant vigilance, my family and friends still so accessible thanks to modern convenience… I am so lucky, so privileged, to be able to do what I am doing now (i.e., as I type this out from written journal entries, sitting on a train rolling across the English countryside). Frankly, it seems almost disrespectful not to go, fear and sadness notwithstanding.

Once I landed, I encountered a few unexpected hurdles… the cashier at the ticket office in Gatwick was impatient and incredibly unhelpful and did not seem to understand that I couldn’t understand how my train ticket worked. I got on the train, though I wasn’t even sure it was the one I was supposed to be on (my heart dropped into my stomach when an attendant came by to check tickets, but thankfully, I was on the right train).

I also didn’t realize that you had to press a button to open the doors on the Gatwick Express. I could feel the disdain of the man next to me as he reached around to press the button for the crowd of us trying to get off the train.

When I arrived in London from Gatwick (a half hour train ride), I was dismayed to discover that I had more than four hours until my train departed to Nottingham from London St. Pancras. After a desperate respite at the ever-familiar Starbucks (save for the fact that they didn’t have wi-fi… what’s up with that?), delighting in the fact that Buckingham Palace was only a ten minute walk away from my very spot and that the theatres of Hamilton (previews) and Wicked were even closer, I set out to King’s Cross/St. Pancras.

Once I got off the tube there, I still had time to kill, so I figured I would visit Platform 9¾. I am familiar with King’s Cross and Harry Potter, of course, but in my jetlagged state I wondered where I would find the “Harry Potter trolley thing” (which is how I was conceptualizing it). I saw a sign for Platforms 0-8 and promptly realized that I’d probably find the “Harry Potter trolley thing” by Platform 9. The line was long, as expected, so I left and headed to St. Pancras, where I spent some time wandering the shops, chewing gum, and walking to keep awake.

I relish in the thrill and accomplishment of getting around a new city successfully and with relative ease. So far, despite its bustling metropolitan-ness, London has been simple enough to navigate.

I think much of my comfort in London has to do with the fact that London feels so much like home, although I couldn’t tell you why I think so. Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, Orlando, and the cities I visited in between—these cities all feel distinctly un-Vancouver-like to me.  I’d say it’s the trains, but NYC had trains, too, so…

It was warm and pleasant in London today, although it would have felt far more pleasant if I wasn’t dressed for colder weather. Dressing in layers isn’t a particularly useful technique when you’re alone, carrying a lot of things, thus not really having hands or arms to easily carry outer layers that you’ve shed.

The trouble with today—other than exhaustion—was being lonely. Not alone, because I’ve felt capable enough on my own, but lonely: by this time, all of my friends and family at home are asleep (even nocturnal Mom), and I truly have only myself for company. I’m used to being alone for the most part, but with so much waiting to do (downsides of being early and prepared), I’m bored and longing for company, even if it’s only virtual.

But at this point, I am far, far too tired to be sad and scared and lonely. I just want to take a long shower and get into bed!

Falling from the city of the angels

This past trip to Los Angeles has been my fifth (!!!), but it had been two summers since I last visited; before that, I visited three summers in a row and also came in the spring one year, and I often stayed for a month. I didn’t love Los Angeles when I spent so much time there, sleeping on a pull-out bed, sharing a room with my cousins. (As an only child, that’s a lot to ask for!)

This spring, it was a reunion, with family coming from all over: us from Vancouver, and family from Toronto, New York City, and even the Philippines. I would be seeing my grandparents for the first time in a long time, and Nate would be coming with me. It was new this time, and it had been awhile: I was ready to go back to California.

It seemed the break was what I needed to see Los Angeles in a new light. The break, and maybe also the fact that it was the first time I went on a hike in Los Angeles, and so the first time I could behold the city from within it, admire Los Angeles in all its freshly watered glory. The palette of Los Angeles has always been sunny yellow and burnt orange in my mind, and this summer was the first summer (for me) that Los Angeles has been any shade of green.

Much like how I imagine heaven to be, looking at the city of Los Angeles from above, it seems to go on forever. Sitting on the snow on Mount Seymour in Vancouver, you look out onto farmland and know that the city of Vancouver ends somewhere, but from the Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles you cannot even see the water. All you can see are a cluster of tall buildings in the distance, glittering freeways, and houses and civilization leaking over the edge of the world.

Despite sharing a room with four other people, at least two of whom snored, despite sharing a single family home with four other families, despite the amount of sleep I got (not much), despite not having much of a budget to spend on anything, it was the first summer that I could see Los Angeles as beautiful.

It was also the first summer that I could see myself living in Los Angeles. I spend almost 15 hours a week on transit at home, so I could hardly imagine living in a city that is mobilized mostly by privately owned vehicles, where “30 minutes away” means 30 minutes away by the freeway. I visited UCLA this trip and it felt, oddly, like coming home; outside of spending time with my family, it was the first place in Los Angeles that felt even somewhat familiar, or close to my life in Vancouver.

Vancouver’s palette for me contains blues, grays, and greens, but if you paint my school in warmer colours, I believe you’d be painting UCLA—we share school colours, after all, cool blue and warm gold. Being among books, like in the gorgeous Powell Library, or talking about Shakespeare with an academic, that feels like home. That feels like my normal.

Despite the fact that a university is, as UBC calls itself, “a place of mind,” both UBC and UCLA are beautiful places to be, and their beauty—what I think of as the physical manifestation of excellence of thinking and knowledge—reminds me that the health and success of the mind is vitally related to the health and success of the body. Kind of related to that, I find it interesting that my favourite beautiful manmade places are quite often schools.

I have always been grateful to return home to Vancouver, and every trip affirms for me that there is no place more beautiful and that Vancouver is without a doubt my home, but for the first time, I returned to Vancouver from Los Angeles feeling a little bit… just slightly… just the tiniest bit… disenchanted. As I write this, it is sunny with a friendly breeze in Vancouver, and the sun is setting behind perfectly cottony clouds, so I have been reminded why I love Vancouver so much, but just days ago I was feeling stagnant and restless at the same time, like I had returned to reality from a place of transcendence. Like I had fallen from heaven, or like I had fallen from—as much as I had fallen for—a city of the angels.

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