Imagining my third year at UBC

Although I am an upper year and am not strictly an invitee to Imagine Day festivities, for all the (two) years I have been not a first year, I have volunteered to be an Orientations Leader for new-to-UBC students.

This is the first year that I have felt displaced from Arts One: there is a full year between me and that first year experience. However, as I told my first year students, it was the best decision I made for my first year. I am glad that they made the choice to do Arts One, and I know that it is an experience they will treasure for the rest of their university career.

This year’s theme for Imagine UBC felt a lot like the drive to build community, and I think that’s always been one of my biggest themes. As a commuter and Arts One student, the transition to university from high school meant building almost an entirely new community for myself from scratch. In such a big university, that might seem kind of paradoxical.

I find, however, that it’s not so difficult. I chose Arts One and the English Honours programs because they were small (among other reasons, obviously). I lost none of the advantages of learning at a big research university while still learning in small classrooms and forming close relationships with professors, not TA’s (wonderful though they are).

Even outside those programs, I find myself seeing people I’ve met through friends of friends, the odd social event I attended a few months ago, and even through the orientations I participated in when I was a first year.

And even beyond that, one of the coolest feelings–one that I missed out on during my own Imagine Day–is to be sitting in the pep rally with your first year class, having this almost absurd sense of belonging in connection with everyone in Thunderbird Arena: all 7,000 of them. To be yelling in unison, with the entire arena, that “we are UBC” has a magical effect on feeling like you belong.

I love my school. I’m so privileged and happy and excited to be studying in one of the best educational institutions–and one of the best communities–in the world. Officially more than halfway through my degree, it is a bittersweet thing to write that I can’t wait for third year to begin.

Summer 2016: A Reflection

With regard to global affairs, this has kind of felt like the summer that the world starts to fall apart. (I’ve read it described as scenes from the montage that is played at the beginning of post-apocalyptic movies describing the pre-movie apocalypse, which is, I think, pretty accurate.)

However, in my own little domain, this summer was a nice respite from action-packed second year.

Me and my cousins at Walt Disney World

Photo courtesy of Dad :)

Me, hardly working

I took two summer courses, worked in retail for the first time in addition to teaching ice skating with the city, and travelled to Florida for the first time. All in all, I had a great summer.

I remember feeling so frustrated at the end of last summer. Four months without school was just too long. However, despite having two courses to deal with all summer long and only three weeks in between my summer courses and the beginning of the fall semester, I’m already so ready to begin third year.

My summer courses, which were focused on syntax and structure and logic, have made me miss discussion groups and original thought. My limited working hours have made me miss a steady income from a job that I’m excited about.

Still, this will be a post about appreciating what I have learned over the summer, preparing to bring those hard-earned wisdoms into the future.

Working at Victoria’s Secret, for example, certainly taught me–as customer certain jobs are wont to do–the values of patience and viewing things from the other perspective. That being said, Victoria’s Secret has a pretty great crew of employees and of customers, so working there was actually really fun. It definitely ranks high on my experience of working with colleagues; all of the girls there tended to be quite fun and friendly, especially once I made the effort to get to know them better. I’m going to miss them a lot.

I obviously took quite a few things away from Symbolic Logic I and English Grammar and Usage, both of which ended up being grade boosters for me. Not only did they require skills that will help me in studying for the LSAT (and eventually, for law school), they bumped up my top 30 credits enough to make me competitive for the law school at the University of Toronto.

The two courses were also refreshing in the way that they required systematic studying in a way that my humanities courses haven’t really required of me. I can parse symbolic sentences and sentences in Standard (or non-standard) English… with some difficulty.

[S/NP(I) P/VP(can parse) O<NP(symbolic sentences) and NP(sentences in Standard {or non-standard} English)>… A(with NP(some difficulty))].

How do we even deal with parentheticals? A question for another course, I suppose.

They’ve also given me a revitalized appreciation for the nuances of language. As challenging and exciting as it is to consider the implications of language and literature at large, it’s also fascinating to delve deeper into the reasons we make certain decisions when we communicate. Like, why did I say “it’s also fascinating to…” instead of, “delving deeper into the reasons we make decisions when we communicate is also fascinating”? I assure you, that decision was a subconscious one!

But of course, this summer was not just all work, try though I did to make it so. (I was reading about declarative subclauses while in our rented villa in Orlando!)

Visiting family in the US is always a highlight of my summer. In the past few years, I’ve visited Los Angeles, San Francisco, Las Vegas, New York City, Atlantic City, Orlando, and Miami. Although the destinations are always thrilling (and so surreal, after reading about those places and seeing them in movies and whatnot), spending time with family always reminds me to take things a little less seriously–I tend to be the most serious of my maternal family, with my outright dedication to my work and my wariness of substances that make one drunk/high.

But man, I love the Disney parks. When I went to Disneyland for the second time, this during my graduating year, I bought one of those big Goofy hats (a souvenir I knew I wanted when I visited Disneyland for the first time). I brought it home and wore it to school, and my teacher started a conversation with me about the Disney parks. It ended with him saying, “Yeah, but you realize it’s all phony and you get tired of it after awhile.”

(I don’t.)

Yeah, kids are crying and hungry and tired and want to pee all the time, and parents are also tired and hot and just spent hundreds of dollars to stand in line, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking that it’s magical for a child to see characters they admire come to life in front of them.

I went with two of my cousins and my aunt, and my younger cousin, who’s only five, is not afraid to talk. She greeted and thanked and conversed with every cast member we met–but she suddenly became a pink-cheeked, smiling, bashful, and tongue-tied little pixie when she met Tinker Bell and Mickey Mouse. And I think that’s pretty cool.

There’s also the fact that it’s fun. It’s impossible to spend a whole day at Disneyland or Disney World and not find yourself laughing or smiling, I think, especially when you’re with people you love.

Tomorrow is the Orientations Leader training for Imagine UBC Day. My third Imagine Day, and my second as an Orientations Leader. It’s such an apt name for the day!

With summer 2016 behind me, I’m ready to spend some (more) time imagining my third year at UBC, and I am just as ready and excited to bring those imaginings to life.

Vancouver Indie Bookstore Hopping

In an unfortunate turn of events, I ended up with two final exams on Monday, August 15. (Of course, one of those exams was a drop-in lab, meaning I chose to have two final exams, but whatever.)

Because my transit home is just over an hour at best, I knew I would be staying on campus in between. After a friend cancelled on me, I–not being much of a crammer–brainstormed some plans of my own.

Taking transit every day to go to school means that there are a number of cool shops that I see on my way to the university that I never really have the time to visit. And now, of course, I did! So, once I got out of my first exam at 3pm, I decided to spend the next four-ish hours hopping the indie bookstores of the west side of Vancouver, from Alma to Cambie.

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Kestrel Books on West 4th and Alma

My first stop was the only one on West 4th, which is the street my (preferred) bus rides down to get to campus.  I’d seen Kestrel Books almost every day for the past two school years, so it was cool to finally go inside.

Kestrel was the smallest bookstore I visited that day, and it didn’t try too hard to be anything more than it could be. By that, I mean: there were stacks of books by the checkout table, but other than that, the store was neat and tidy and didn’t induce that feeling of claustrophobia that small used bookstores usually create. There were three main aisles, curling left into the back corner of the store.

The first aisle I went down, on the furthest right, contained fiction and poetry. It’s where I spent most of my time even after I ventured further in. I circled around the back and turned left (skipping the middle aisle), with a pleasant surprise at the end of the aisle.

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Guardian of the Children’s Books

Kitsilano has an awesome pet culture. They do love their animals.

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Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti

I deliberated between a copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets, Canadian poet E.J. Pratt’s Towards the Last Spike, and a beautiful collector’s library collection of Jane Austen’s novels (they were so small and beautifully bound!), but knowing that I wanted to visit other bookstores, I set a budget for $10 a bookstore and settled upon Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti, one of my favourite poems studied in my British literature course from last year.

Pleased, I walked down Alma from West 4th to West 10th, to White Dwarf Books, a fantasy & science fiction indie store. It was the only one I visited that day that I had already visited on a previous day.

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white dwarf books on West 10th and Alma

Unlike Kestrel, which was a used bookstore, white dwarf books sells mostly new books, so it is a well-organized and well-stocked store. When I went to Kestrel, there was a sign on the window proclaiming that it was air-conditioned. Although it was a hot day, I remembered finding this amusing (why advertise air-conditioning?). I did not find it amusing when I walked into white dwarf books, which is not air-conditioned.

Unfortunately, there was nothing that I really wanted under my $10 budget (I was looking for specific Terry Pratchett books, but in addition to not being the ones I was looking for, they were all new and so, over budget), so I walked out empty handed.

I hopped on the infamous 99 B-Line to visit two stores at the Macdonald stop. The first of these two was Vancouver’s self-described “legendary independent bookstore”.

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Pulpfiction Books on W Broadway and Macdonald

The first thing I saw in the bookstore was a poetry dispenser, which I thought was cute.

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Poetry for a toonie

Neat, tidy, and spacious (qualities that one does not usually associate with independent bookstores that sell used), Pulpfiction did not have a great selection of unique bindings, which is what I’m mostly interested in right now, but I didn’t spend much time browsing, since I found what I wanted pretty much right away. (I love Virginia Woolf.)

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The Diary of Virginia Woolf

 

I walked further down West Broadway to the “largest and best children’s bookstore in Canada”.

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Kidsbooks on West Broadway and Trafalgar

It’s kind of hard to be part of the literary scene of Vancouver and not know about Kidsbooks. Despite this (and the fact that I, of course, saw it whenever I took the 99 B-Line), I had never actually visited the store, which had recently moved further down West Broadway from closer to campus.

Kidsbooks is kind of a really, really magical place. I hope it’s still around when I have kids. Well, more than that: I hope it’s all over Vancouver, all over Canada by that time! It’s fun packed from wall to wall. More than just on the shelves, there are fun seats, toys on tables, eye-catching decorations, and books books books! It was lovely.

While sitting in a corner doing some research (there was free wifi, too!), a shelf of books about countries around the world caught my eye. I flipped through one about my home country (the Philippines) and was delighted to see the representation; you have to go digging for things like this in big corporate bookstores, so to find it in Kidsbooks made me happy.

I chose to do some schoolbook shopping, and I found one of the books needed for one of my upcoming Honours seminars. Unabridged and including the original illustrations (as per my booklist):

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Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

The next bookstore, had I had more time, would have been Chapters, but I didn’t have the time, so I skipped the biggest bookstore in Canada and headed to “Vancouver’s local independent store since 1903”.

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Book Warehouse on West Broadway and Ash

Book Warehouse, part of the Black Bond Books family, is like Kidsbooks in the way that it is independent but sells new (mostly). However, the store felt like a used bookstore in the distinctive way that the store organizes its sections.

After catching sight of Thomas King’s The Inconvenient Indian a few times (but not being able to buy it because it was over my $10 budget), I checked the fiction section for other King books in stock (and perhaps on sale). I loved studying Thomas King in Canadian and indigenous literatures last year, so I knew I would be happy with anything I found from him.

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Truth & Bright Water by Thomas King

With the sun setting over West Broadway at 6pm and a final exam awaiting me back on campus, I jaywalked, popped into Michael’s for a peek at their stock, and then headed back to campus.

I was, truthfully, quite tired, and my backpack was noticeably heavier despite my purchases being quite small, but I was certainly glad to have gone on my little field trip, and I was happy to have supported Vancouver’s local bookstores, especially given that the Tri-Cities’ last used bookstore closed this summer.

On a visit to my professor’s house for a little party she threw, I commented that it must be so nice to have so many independent bookstores in her neighbourhood (in Kitsilano). She looked at me and smiled and told me it was nice to hear that, because she had been thinking that she had been noticing fewer and fewer independent bookstores.

Four or five independent bookstores is great, but it’s also, at the same time, not good enough. So let this be your friendly reminder to give your indie bookstores some love. 🙂

The Jolly Olde Bookstore

A few months ago, one of my old coworkers invited her Facebook friends to visit the Jolly Olde Bookstore, which was closing in the summer, completely extinguishing the old, used bookstore species in the Tri-City area. People mourned in the comments, talking about how half their bookshelves were filled with books bought from this store, about how nice the owner was.

The picture above is not a very good picture, but I think it captures the way it looked as I drove past it for the first time. On the corner of a tucked away street, next to industrial fences, an empty parking lot, and similarly old and run down businesses. I remember being struck by the giant “sale” sign in the window: how much cheaper could used books be?

As I entered, it looked exactly as I expected it would be. Old, dingy, crammed with tattered paperbacks and yellowed pages. The floors–what little exposed of them there was–creaked as you walked on them. Stacks on shelves, on the floor, and boxes, probably also filled with books.

“Is there anything I can help you find?” asked the man crouched on the floor, sifting through some books.

“No, thank you, I’m just looking around,” I told him.

“Good,” he said. “Because I wouldn’t have been able to help you find anything you were looking for, anyway.” He punctuated this with a laugh, and I laughed, too.

My first favorite bookstore was a used bookstore, and I never went there looking for anything specific. Do people ever go to used bookstores with a map? Or do they just forge trails into the unknown, knowing that any path they take will lead to someplace wonderful?

I had $20 in cash in my wallet, so I told myself that’s what I would limit myself to. I didn’t check prices as I picked up books. I assumed I could know when I was close.

I picked up four books. From the Canadian literature section, I picked up Shani Mootoo’s Cereus Blooms at Night. Mootoo had been interviewed by the non-profit where I’ve been interning since January.

In the “new arrivals” section by the front, adjacent to the Canadian literature shelf, I found Geek Love, by Katherine Dunn, whose death announcement had been made on Book Riot. I was intrigued by the title of the book that I had never read when I first saw the announcement.

In the literature section in the back room of the store, I picked up A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, by James Joyce (under the cover was the penciled in, and then scratched out price of $5; beneath it was scrawled, “some notes + underlining, As is $3.00”, as if additional thoughts and observations detract from the value of a book). I also refrained from taking a very large and heavy complete collection of the works of Charlotte and Emily Bronte.

The owner of the store saw me walking around and clutching the books to my chest. “Not going to leave empty-handed,” he commented.

“Of course not.”

In the poetry section in the shelf that blocked one of the entrances to the room that housed the literature section, I picked up a collection of poems by Dionne Brand, whose work I read in my Canadian literature course last year.

Knowing that I had homework to do, I pulled myself away to the table at the store’s entrance that worked as a checkout counter. The owner sat down and took my stack of books. He scribbled on a notepad, did some math, and named a price.

I heard six something dollars. Unsure if he said six or sixteen (it couldn’t have been just six, surely), I handed over my twenty.

He gave me my change: some coins, and two five dollar bills. I had budgeted for twice what I had bought!

In the shelf behind him was an enormous Yale Shakespeare. Golden, with white embossed text on the spine, I knew I would want to come back for it if it was still there.

“Tell your friends to come,” he said. “We still have lots.”

I assured him I would.

As I left, I couldn’t believe that it was the first time I was visiting the store. I had a month and a bit left to visit before the doors closed forever, so I knew it wasn’t goodbye, but it’s terrible falling in love with a life that has an expiry date coming up soon.

I don’t believe that people are reading less. I do think that people are not buying books in person as much anymore, but I know that people still love to read, and I know that people still love physical books. I don’t think that will ever change. But oh, how I wish beautiful souls like this bookstore would live forever.

Tatted paperbacks and torn covers

I’m about to write another blog post, but before I do, I need to share this essay I wrote in my final high school English class… and I’m going to try and do it without flinching!


The store was aptly called “Book Sale”. We could not go to the mall without my asking to pass by, and we could not pass by without leaving with at least two new-old books. I took them all: tattered paperbacks with torn covers, with inscriptions made by previous owners. I covered those inscriptions with my own name, making the books mine.

It’s been years since I’ve visited Book Sale, years since I’ve found a similar place: a temple of sorts to the devout bibliophile. But a bookstore is a bookstore. As long as I have access to one, I cannot complain.

However, I remember when Borders closed. I remember how the Internet community of book lovers was outraged, disappointed, and yet—unsurprised.

While visiting family in California the summer before my graduating year of high school, my grandmother, mother, and I got lost in Old Pasadena, where I found a sign that read, “Borders Old Pasadena”, with an arrow indicating that it was up ahead. I was confused and intrigued. Had I found a survivor? Was this the last Borders standing? Had some resilient bookstores been left over, and was I lucky enough to find one of them? We continued down the road.

The building still stood. The large “Borders” sign remained, advertising its stock of books, movies, and music. But the windows were covered, the doors locked, the building empty. As we drove away, I felt almost heartbroken.

It’s the death of the conventional book, the world proclaimed, the year Borders closed. The rise of the e-reader. Barnes and Noble would be next. Hardcore bibliophiles rose up in protest, condemning battery-powered literature, holding tightly to those sacred, tattered paperbacks with their torn covers.

I thought about classmates, among them gifted artists and performers, opting instead for careers in science. I thought about friends and adults asking me, “What do you want to do with a degree in English?” About empty museums with unseen, unappreciated masterpieces. About limewire and 4shared and YouTube and all the ways you could listen to music for free. How it feels like I am witnessing the death of art.

At the same time, however, I cannot help but think…

It’s been years since I’ve returned to Book Sale, but I hope—I believe—that should I ever return, I might see a little girl crouched in front of the middle grade paperback section, where the books about horses and dogs and friendships and growing up are crammed, between mass-paperback romances and mysteries.
I can imagine her—and thousands or millions of others like her—lying on the couch for hours, pages denting to her sweating fingers. I can imagine her dropping the book in shock when it is revealed that Quirrell was Voldemort’s accomplice, not Snape. Hurling it across the room in protest when Aslan dies. Clutching it tightly to her chest when Anne finally admits that she loves Gilbert. Watching her tears fall and the ink spread when Sara Crewe lies alone in the attic, when Charlotte weaves her last web, when Jesse comes home to find out that Leslie didn’t make it to Terabithia.

The world has not always—if ever—been very accommodating to artists and their work. It is true, perhaps, that we do not need art to survive. Oxygen, food, water, a roof over our heads. To such a sophisticated species, survival is not a goal but rather a given.

Thinking of that little girl, however, I cannot help thinking—without the book-reading experience available to us, how could we survive? How could we survive without the teachings and the stories of those before us? How could we survive without what they have to say? How could we survive without each other?

I have faith in the traditional book because I have faith in us and our desire to be heard, to tell stories, to teach, to live, and to do more than just survive: it is for that reason that I believe that our art, whether digital or electronic or not, will outlive all of us, let alone disappear within our lifetimes.

What feminism means to me

I can have career ambitions, pursue higher education, and not feel guilty about spending so much time in school.

I can go into my desired field and find that there are both men and women, that positions of power are not dominated by one, that everyone feels comfortable and respected and valued.

I can be a wife and a mother someday and I don’t have to feel guilty about wanting that.

I can do what I want with my body: I can let it sleep eight hours a night, I can work out three or four times a week, I can eat “right”. I can have chocolate every single day. I can indulge in good food. I can take everything in moderation. (Except chocolate.)

I can wear pants and running shoes and hoodies.

I can wear dresses and skirts and heels.

I can enjoy shopping.

I can take time off to travel, by myself or with others. I can travel without feeling limited or unsafe.

I can enjoy being a slob on the couch.

I can cut my hair really short or grow it out.

I can wear makeup or go without.

I can walk home without my mom asking me to text her when I’ve left work, arrived at the bus station, when the bus has left the station, when I’ve gotten off the bus, when I’ve arrived home from the bus stop.

I can choose to go on birth control, or have an abortion, if I ever needed to.

I can leave parts of my body hairy.

I can have a say in my relationship, and my feelings will be recognized (both in the relationship and outside of it) as valid if I ever have concerns.

I can be heard.

I can be respected.

Feminism means that I don’t have to be afraid of having a voice, opinions, and desires, that I can trust that what I say will be heard and–although not necessarily listened to–my voice will be respected. Feminism means that I’m free to be myself without stigma. Feminism means that I will not be limited by my gender or my sex.

Jia Directs a Choir, year 3: “Fewer theories, more experience”

“School opened and Anne returned to her work, with fewer theories but considerably more experience.” (Anne of the Island, by L.M. Montgomery)

Directing my local middle school choir has been the ultimate learning-teaching experience because–like every bright-eyed aspiring teacher–I wanted to revolutionize what I’d gone through myself as a student, believing that I could change the experience for the better. This gets sour pretty fast, especially when you have no formal training as a teacher. Teaching is a true vocation, which is why I always feel a little bit resentful of anyone who tells me they want to teach… just because there’s too many of them. I know this isn’t fair, but I’ve become so skeptical of anyone who can’t think of anything else other than teacher-doctor-lawyer and so fall back on those options because they cannot imagine another position.

Despite all of bitterness you just read, I returned to the middle school for another year directing the choir. After a summer of worrying about how it was going to fit in to my schedule with all the other things I committed to and feeling my interest in the gig fading (I told myself that this would be the last year I did it), I went to the first rehearsal with my teacher face on, only to discover that the teacher face stayed on.

In an hour, I remembered just what I love about teaching choir. I love sharing music, and I love being surrounded by kids who love to sing, despite how hard of a time I give them. This is such a fresh new time for these kids, and I can feel it. At my training for my job as an ice skating instructor, my supervisor reminded us that we could be the difference between a child loving skating, or hating it, and being in that position doesn’t frighten me as much as it probably should. In both skating and in choir, all I see is the opportunity to show a kid the world that I grew up in and I want them to feel as safe and loved and part of something as I did.

Skating and singing and music ended up being places of refuge for me. They did so well at serving as those places that I didn’t even realize that I ever needed refuge. Even though I was never particularly gifted at either of those things–I’ll never receive money or prizes for my abilities in music or skating–they defined my childhood and offered me so much.

That is what I want to bring to the table. Being on slippery ice is scary. Working with others is scary. Performing is scary. Being yourself and putting who you are on display is scary. But I want these kids to know that it is so much more than scary, and that I am there for them even when it is, because I know that there is a chance for them to fit in and figure things out and shine, if they let themselves.

Here’s to another wonderful year of non-bitter teaching. ♥

Personal Reflections, Girlfriend Edition

I don’t really want to talk about my personal relationship, exactly, not much. I’ve been in a flux as a girlfriend because Nathan and I have gone through a tumultuous time, even just as people unconnected to each other: most notably, we graduated from high school and started our respective undergraduate educations (at different institutions). This has had all sorts of implications on the way we interact with each other, but I mostly just want to talk about me. (LOL.)

Nathan is probably the best partner anyone could ever have, so thank goodness for all those stupid girls who friend-zoned him before. He is patient, thoughtful, kind, funny, hard working, and he is an excellent cuddler. Me, though, I’m working on a lot of those things. (Except for the cuddling. I’m great at that.)

Among my great flaws as a girlfriend (like, being desperately and annoyingly clingy–although I have gotten way better, I think) is that I am very rigid. I have a hard time adjusting to the situation, and things always need to go the way I want them to.

Spoiler alert! Things ALMOST ALWAYS don’t go the way I want them to.

Although I love him dearly and he truly is my superman, Nathan is not superman. He cannot do everything, and I constantly need to remind myself of this. I don’t like thinking of myself as a slice of the pie chart that needs to become smaller when school comes into the picture, and I’ve tried to think of metaphors that would make me feel less optional, but firstly, that premise is wrong, and secondly, there’s nothing wrong with being a slice of the pie chart because that’s what I am!

I am still trying to figure out that being a relationship is a constant work-in-progress. I think I’m finally understanding what Sarah Dessen meant in This Lullaby when she tried to explain that a relationship doesn’t have to be either a fling or forever. At least, my interpretation of it is that I need to approach every situation with a unique mindset. Not everything can be dealt with the same way.

Something frustrating I’ve learned is that there is never one answer to a problem in the realm of romantic relationships. When I’ve been asked advice about partners, I’ve learned to tread carefully because what worked/hasn’t worked for me might not be the same case with someone else. In fact, it probably won’t. Dealing with people is a skill that constantly needs to be adapted.

That’s why I’m very grateful to have Nathan, who–human though he is–is steady and reliable. From the very beginning, what made him stand out to me was his incredible kindness and patience and having my best interests at heart. Perhaps even when he shouldn’t, he considers me even before himself. (So thank you, honeybunch. I love you!)

Where We Are: Imagine UBC + Second Year Begins

Study tumblr blogs (“studyblrs”) feature a lot of school tips, including back-to-school preparation tips. A piece of advice that I read a few weeks ago, prior to school starting, was to sleep in the day before classes start (albeit having slept early the night before, of course). This year, that was not possible for me.

I actually had a very hectic week leading up to the first day of classes, loaded with preparations for back to school, orientations, and meeting up with friends who would be leaving for their out-of-province schools.

I had a mediocre Imagine Day during my first year, which is not to say anything against my Orientation Leader, who was very sweet and a wonderful resource regarding the best places for food on campus. However, it was pouring rain, and as a rule, I cannot maintain a good mood in such conditions. Luckily, this year, it was quite pleasant out.

I find that the events that the university puts on for orientations and first year (like Destination) are put on to remind you where you are. This is UBC! This is the most beautiful campus in the world, home to some of the brightest minds and diverse stories on the planet! As a first year and a second year, I buy into the hype–I mean, I’m borrowing thousands of dollars to buy into that hype, because it’s true.

There were a few highlights of being an Imagine Day Orientations Leader. We’ll start with the end: my group called me “super cool”/”mega awesome”. I’m really very proud of that. But I’m also glad that my group became a group. Although individually the members of my own Imagine Day group last year were quite pleasant people, we didn’t quite “glom” onto each other–but I suppose kindred spirits are preordained.

Thankfully, quite a few of the first years in my undergraduate group were very kindred spirits. In addition to enthusiastic inclusivity, I heard strange conversations throughout the day–between strangers who you would think had known each other forever.

Imagine Day is all about orientating, yes, but another way I’m thinking of it as is situating. Although there is a literal campus tour, there is also a constant reminder–especially on the centennial of our university–that we are somewhere special. This was illustrated in a number of ways by a number of different people, but this year, it stands out to me that the University of British Columbia is located on the traditional, ancestral, and unceded territory of the Musqueam people.

Although unintentionally so, I registered for Canadian literature and Indigenous literature in the same semester. This proved to be a happy coincidence. Two classes in a row, I was reminded that being Canadian is very real and something to be proud of, but–as Professor Kevin McNeilly articulated brilliantly–being a Canadian citizen is not an uncomplicated citizenship.

I see myself as Canadian, and if I were abroad and somebody asked me where I was from and who I was, I would know the tl;dr answer I would give them. But, as a Canadian and as much more, it is not an uncomplicated answer. I am excited for the opportunity to learn more about the answers to those questions, by exploring what I’m becoming more and more sure that I love (the study of English literature) and seeing just what I’m capable of in other areas.

Here’s to a great great year!

Speed-dating the Literary World: My Summer Internship

Close to the end of first year and the beginning of summer, I was faced with a career crisis. (It’s a bit early in my career for that, I know.) I was comfortable as a cashier at my local grocery store. Even if it was not the most invigorating job, I could take time off easily, I could discreetly use my phone, and it was a really easy job. I told my highly ambitious and driven friend this–that I was comfortable and didn’t really mind staying at the grocery store–and she looked at me with that look and asked me, “But do you really want to be a cashier for a few more years? Is that where you want to be?”

This prompted a new bookmarks folder (“Opportunities”) in Google Chrome with over twenty links to literary-related internships and jobs (as well as a handful of non-literary-related opportunities that paid more than minimum wage, just to keep my options open, of course).

I received a few rejections, but not enough to faze me. (I even got one “reapply in December, when we have an opening!”) I knew I was up against graduate students, many of whom already had work experience in the industry. I did, however, get through a gate with book scout, Simone Garzella.

Despite the aspiring novelist and avid publishing world researcher that I was in early high school, I had never known that book scouts even existed. For the record, they are to books what sports scouts are to sports: they find the good ones and sell ’em. Specifically, if you wanted to get your soon-to-be-published/up-and-coming bestseller published in foreign markets, I was among the first people you wanted to impress.

After a horrifying and embarrassing incident involving attaching the wrong file to a kind of “audition” for the internship, Simone Garzella took me under his literally virtual wing. By mid-May, I was a remote intern for SG Literary Scouting.

The job was never stressful to the point that I wished it were gone. I never felt so overwhelmed that I was unhappy. There will be no sugar coating in this blog post: being an intern with SG Literary Scouting was stressful and overwhelming.  I had to read 100 pages of manuscripts and then provide a synopsis and a cogent opinion about those first 100 pages within 24 hours. I also often got these manuscripts between 8 and 11am, sometimes every day of the week, sometimes twice a week: a schedule contrary to my plan-months-in-advance attitude.

However, these are not complaints. Aside from being a student, being an intern with SG Literary Scouting is probably my favorite job yet.

I learned so much, about both the publishing industry and myself.

I learned what it takes to be a “good book”. I learned that, to be published, writing cannot just be a craft, despite what I must have believed when I was a starry-eyed NaNoWriMo winner, dreaming of becoming the next Christopher Paolini, published before finishing high school. A good book is not always the same thing as a published book, a bestselling book. There are trends and readers to consider. Of course, Younger Me, you can write for the sake of writing, but you cannot just do that and make money, and there is no shame in knowing that.

I’ve learned that there is not a complete checklist of criteria that will get you through the publishing door. I read books with awful cliches but pulled at my heartstrings and made me laugh and cry. I met characters who made me seethe and made me want to punch walls but ultimately got my approval because of it. I read wildly postmodern books, making statements about art and sentences and writing that are no doubt important statements but did not get my recommendation because, despite its beauty, think-deeply-and-complexly-about is not what the market is looking for.

I learned that I cannot work just from home. With Facebook and Tumblr and Twitter and even my email just a few clicks away, I cannot work from my bedroom–at least not very productively.

I also just love working with people….

It is not a well-known fact, but reading and writing at their best are not solitary activities. Reading and writing are made even greater when they become reciprocal acts, acts of humanity and communication and community. When you write with the intention to be read, your book becomes a different animal. When you read books and discuss them, stories take on new lives. Great books are “great books” because they have been shared and thought deeply about. Great books give good reasons to bring people together.

I’ve learned that, above all else, I still love books. I love wondering about books, authorial intent, decisions made regarding syntax and structure, and what you might think about it. I love books, especially good ones that make me want to share them with the world.

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