I am lying on the chair having a nap when I hear the (text-colour:purple)[[smallest human]] get up and walk out of the room. She has left her (text-colour:purple)[[crayon box]] open on the floor. I silently get up to (text-colour:lime)[[investigate]]. The smallest human is tolerable. She often leaves food, plastic items and crayons out for me to eat. She also tries to hug me and pet me which I do not like. I must be careful not to make eye contact with her. This seems to encourage the petting. Thankfully the large humans tell her to leave me alone. (text-colour:orange)[[back->Smallest Human Leaves the Room]]The large humans supply the smallest human with an endless stream of crayons. When I eat them more magically arrive. The first crayons came in an easy to open box. I could simply lift the lid with my snout. The new box has a plastic lid that clips down. It has proven very challenging to open, even when I knock it on the floor and drag it about. (text-colour:orange)[[back->Smallest Human Leaves the Room]] I can hear the smallest human in another room. It sounds like she will be occupied for some time. I do not know where the (text-colour:purple)[[large humans]] are. I sniff the intoxicating smell of the crayons. The large humans sometimes (text-colour:purple)[[catch me eating the crayons]]. I could steal a couple and take them to my den, usually if they (text-colour:purple)[[find the wrappers later]] they are not as upset. (text-colour:lime)[[I can't resist]].The large humans seem to believe that they are the leaders of our pack, but they show no leadership skills. I have the humans mostly trained, they remember to feed me which is good. They take me outside which is also good. However they become upset when I defend the house. I don't think they know that strange humans and dogs will come inside and eat our food. It is my duty as leader to bark until they go away. (text-colour:orange)[[back->investigate]] The large female human and the smallest human have caught me eating crayons out of the box. They do NOT like that. The large human tries to convince me that crayons are not food. She is foolish and must not have a working olfactory system. The humans prefer to rub crayons on pieces of paper (also delicious). I've yet to learn why they do this. The large humans will examine the paper after the smallest human rubs crayons on it. They pat her head and hug her for this behaviour. I've tried to show them other uses for crayons, but they do not seem to understand. (text-colour:orange)[[back->investigate]] Four days ago the female large human found crayon wrappers in my den. She sighed and picked them up. She gave me a dirty look but didn't do anything. I stood by and stared at her. I don't know why she wanted the wrappers without the crayons inside, but I permited her to take them. (text-colour:orange)[[back->investigate]] I stand over the box and inhale deeply. I eat (text-colour:purple)[[5 crayons]] quickly then slowly eat (text-colour:purple)[[another 3]]. I can't eat anymore so I gather several in my mouth and discreetly start to head towards (text-colour:purple)[[my den]]. As I travel down the long hallway I hear the large humans speaking in (text-colour:lime)[[their bedroom]].1) Purple Heart
2) Caribbean Green
3) Shocking Pink
4) Macaroni and Cheese
5) Atomic Tangerine
(text-colour:orange)[[back->I can't resist]] 1) Mauvelous
2) Purple Mountains Majesty
3) Beaver
(text-colour:orange)[[back->I can't resist]] My den is in the large humans' bedroom. The humans put my den in the smaller room where they keep their clothing. It is lovely and dark and warm. I have a fuzzy squishy blanket I sleep on that reminds me of my mother. It is excellent for hiding crayons and other items I might need. (text-colour:orange)[[back->I can't resist]] The large humans' bedroom is at the end of the hallway. I can hear (text-colour:purple)[[them talking]] so it is risky to enter. I must go through the bedroom in order to deposit the crayons in my den. I cautiously approach the doorway and (text-colour:lime)[[peer inside]].I have learned talking is something that the humans do endlessly. They never seem to stop. There are certain words which are important to learn. "Walk" and "feed" are both good words. "Walk" and "feed" always result in going outside and food. Sometimes "sit", "down", and "roll over" can result in food but sometimes they do not. Those are not trustworthy words. (text-colour:orange)[[back->their bedroom]] The humans immediately look at me. "What do you have?" the female human asks. I have no clue what she is saying, but I can tell from the voice and the crinkles in her forehead that I have been caught. (text-colour:lime)[[I turn and flee]].The humans shout and run after me. I abandon the crayons and run into the smallest human's room. She smiles broadly and hugs me. The large humans appear in the doorway. "Honey, you have to put the lid on your crayon box!" they are holding the crayons as evidence of my crime. The smallest human looks at me and says "I love her!" I surrender to her grasping hands and wiggle my tail. This seems to please all of them. I will have to steal more crayons another day...Welcome to the story of Dog and the Crayons. (text-colour:lime)[Green] moves you ahead in the main story. You can go (text-colour:orange)[back] from (text-colour:purple)[tangents] that appear in the main story.
(text-colour:lime)[[Begin->Smallest Human Leaves the Room]]