More Nativer Media

 MNM  Posted: Sept 7, 2016 3:50 PM PT

An undergraduate arts degree at UBC now Costs $5,088.00 a year.

Photograph by: Martin Dee

_                                                         _                                                          _

VANCOUVER (The News Desk) Starting this coming fall semester of 2016 motivational videos will be replacing sessional instructors at the University of British Columbia (UBC) in a new self-directed program, CRED TALKS.

In an effort to keep tuition costs lower UBC’s administrative staff have confirmed students can now register for self-directed classes, and receive credit for watching the popular motivational video series TED TALKS. The UBC board of governors has approved tuition decreases starting the fall semester of 2016. An undergraduate arts degree at UBC will now Cost $5,088.00 a year per student domestically. For international students fees will remain unchanged at $31,355.25 a year and can expect a maximum 5% annual increase in tuition.

Students will be required to hand in assignments via UBC’s online interface Connect. The Gold Star system of grading will be applied by a newly developed software that requires minimal human oversight. Assignments will be graded on a scale of one to five gold stars. Students who score four or more gold stars will also be entered to win hidden easter egg features for their program approved courses, such as: early course registration, or extended course drop dates.

Vice-president of academic and university affairs for UBC’s AMS student society Mario Parent says, “I think CRED TALKS are pretty amazing! Courses are cheaper and I don’t have to listen to an instructor drone on for hours. I mean, actors are professionals at presenting information and sessional instructors are really good at research. it just seems obvious to play to your strengths.” Parent went on to say ”now that I’ve registered in the CRED TALKS program I have more time to smash the white supremacist, colonial patriarchy.”

Abstaining to comment on stagnating International student tuitions UBC President Dr. Santa Ono trumpeted, “With the all the money saved on courses students are funneling their cash back into the local economy here on campus.” Ono says, “whether students are registering for more courses or just buying an extra coffee at The Great Dane Cafe, it’s a real win for everyone here at UBC.”

The CRED TALKS program is “exceeding expectations,” reports UBC’s administrative staff. “Despite being capable of handling more students with the self-directed studies program CRED TALKS we’re going to put a limit on the registration to keep prestige.”

UBC’s former sessional instructors were nowhere to be found for comment as many are taking the time off work as an opportunity to catch up on Netflix series. Sources report sessional instructors are taking more time for self-care, such as: spending time with family and scheduling romantic nights.

UBC’s 15th President Dr. Santa Ono commenting on the replacement of sessional instructors says, “the news may come as a shock, but this was a decision made from the bottom up.”