In both a good and a bad way.
2 weeks left until the end of the term. That’s also 2 weeks that I have to learn all of physics, some of math, and all of organic chemistry.
I used to feel smart. I used to be that kid who didn’t have much difficulty in classes. I used to be the person who was tutoring people, never the one being tutored.
I heard before I came to university that my average would drop 10-20%. Sure, that’s fine, as long as it’s consistent across everyone and expected. First term, I was super excited to be here and thoroughly motivated to do my work (I was the one in the commonsblock on a Friday night studying physics, chemistry, and EOSC). And then that started to die off. We started learning new things in CHEM, the reading for EOSC was getting more tedious, the reading for ENGL was getting longer, and PHYS continued to be about things I already knew. So my motivation went down, but it didn’t affect too much. Until term 2.
Given my way better than expected for a university course grade in PHYS and my quite happily passing mark in CHEM despite my being convinced that I failed the final, I wasn’t too stressed. Then came PHYS 101. I had never learned any of this before, but by his explanations in class, it seemed like I understood it. Oh how I was wrong.
CHEM was fine until organic chemistry and you ask me to draw 3,4-oewifjaoiwefjaofj and name a bunch of lines. That’s pretty much how it looks to me and I’m pretty scared. I don’t understand anything in class, I can’t tell what’s relevant and what’s useful, and I have no motivation to figure out how to understand any of it.
MATH is better, given my taking Calc AB last year. It’s the same thing as PHYS, I feel like I understand it, but when any problem comes I just stare at it like someone vomited letters and numbers on the page and I’m supposed to figure out what it means. Given that I used to be a consistently above average student, realizing I’m now below average doesn’t help my confidence any.
So what do I do? Complain. Feel terrible. Attempt to study. Fail at said studying due to lack of motivation. And finally, I’m doing what I never thought I’d ever have to do. I’m getting a tutor.
You could say I’m a procrastinator for getting a tutor this late, but I’m not a fortune teller. At the beginning of the term, there is no way that I could have told you that I am as close to failing as I am right now. In the middle of the term, I would have told you that I don’t understand some things, but it’s alright because I’m capable of learning this and by doing more advanced in class, I’ll fully learn the more basic things.
No matter how smart you are or how good you are at something, there’s always people better than you. And for me, these people are concentrated at UBC.
3 replies on “And it’s all downhill from here…”
Don’t worry; be happy :)
I’ve been in your shoes!
I can almost guarantee you how to not only pass, but do well on your finals: find a distraction-free place (without your laptop, friends, noise, phone) and spend 30 hours on each course. Time yourself while you’re doing it. You can do it! The first two sessions may be tough, but if you keep a log and look back at it, you’ll hardly believe how quickly the time goes. Give it a try!
I remember PHYS 101… didn’t really like it, but my prof made it really fun, so I turned out ok. Unfortunately, the same thing can’t be said for PHYS 102; I’m hearing from my friends right now that they’re dying because it’s hard to visualize atomic particles (kinda reminds me of quantum mechanics from CHEM 121, where I couldn’t grasp the concepts).
Tutors never really worked for me; they tend to repeat things said by the teacher/prof in class, so basically they’re all a bunch of voice recorders. Sometimes they will help, but you (and your wallet) might be better off if you go to the office hours.
Gotta love that feeling. I sort of know what’s happening in 17% of my courses right now; the rest I sit in class and smile at the prof knowing that I know nothing.
As for smart people at UBC, tell me about it. There’s no way for me, one of the many that did pretty much zip studying in high school, to keep up with some of these kids who have been doing university math (and other subjects) since grade 6. And thus, I can not keep up.
It’s definitely a depressing reality, but fortunately, reality resets itself in 4 weeks. We’re reaching the end, then you get to repeat the process next year (hopefully with a few less bumps :) ).