By: Katiana Shahbahrami
Edited by: Taylor Campbell
Why must it be such a difficult task for a guy to confront his own emotions? Why must he live with them not on the forefront of his mind? He feels it best that by not literally facing them, then he won’t think about them. This, of course, is not the case. Under the covers at night with no sheet and just a duvet (he never understood the point of a sheet- what’s with its inability to succeed at the task it was set forth for? It’s a complete hypocrisy to itself as its sole function is to provide warmth.) He stares up at his white stucco sky and purposely find faults in its architectural perfection to convince himself those are the reasons why he won’t be with her. Yet he knows it is not these flaws that drive him away. It is his cowardice at the prospect of being with a girl so fearlessly confident in herself that drives him away. This is a girl who relishes her imperfections and pointedly acknowledges her many perfections even when he believes he is gracing her with a compliment. She flirts with danger, yet longs for quiescence. He will never complete her for she is already whole. He merely provides luster and when he leaves she will still shine but perhaps with slightly less radiance. But she will still sparkle despite his lack of presence, which makes him falter. She does not need him and this lack thereof for him is what amplifies his ineptitude for her. He is not enough for nobody is. Nobody has been and for this reason she has remained alone but not lonely all these years. So he shies away from commitment.
She is crumbling. This pseudo strength weakens by the hours. She grows tiresome as her shoulders falter beneath the weight of her preface. She yearns to tell him who she is. She wants him to care, to attempt to understand what makes the clocks in her mind turn. She shudders with each breath she takes for he takes her breath away. No matter how many blankets she puts on herself every night she is still cold. Blankets of sadness suffocate her pursuits to drift away in peace. She doesn’t like the game. She has so much love to give. She is brimming, overfilling – overflowing with love. Her hands tremble when she picks up a glass and her knees fold like those of an infant fawn. An unrequited love is worse than having no love at all.
What is meant by what is written above? In between the plethora of words riddled with pathos I swear there lies some logical truth. You are in university right now and it is a brilliant time of discovery and passion and finding what you love about yourself and in your life and in somebody else. Do not bottle your words any longer, speak your mind and be honest with your emotions- whether it be towards yourself or somebody else. Every single one of us has a story under the surface; however, you must make an effort to understand it. The first few months have passed and as the small talk, “What’s your faculty” conversations begin to fade, new and deeper conversations will replace them. Get to know yourself and others on a deeper level and it will revolutionize your university experience.
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