Hookin’ Up in Residence

Article by: Genia Zhang

Edited by: Peter Milobar

“Just because someone isn’t saying no, doesn’t mean they’re saying yes.”

So you’re almost finished your first year of university. CONGRATULATIONS!

How has it been so far? Do you feel accustomed to the “college lifestyle” yet? Have you had your fair share of late nights, caffeine, and dining hall food? Do you feel like you’ve lived the full “college experience?” I hope you have met some great people along the way. Perhaps even that “special someone”…..?!?!

Just kidding. You probably haven’t met your soul-mate here yet BUT… maybe you’ve met or developed a crush (or multiple crushes) on some cute/intelligent/fine/beautiful/quirky/hot people out here. Which is understandable… UBC is comprised of some pretty amazing people.

Perhaps you met them at a frat party last week. Or in class, or at that faculty event you went to at the beginning of the year. OR IN RESIDENCE!!! *gasp* Whether you’ve gained interest in someone or not, the following is information that EVERYBODY needs to know. Are you ready for this?

…

I’m going to teach you how to hook up with someone.

Yes. Really. Whether that’s making out, holding hands, or something more…

… Just follow these 3 easy steps!

STEP 1. Find that special someone you’re attracted to that you want to engage sexual activity with.

STEP 2. Gain Consent – a clear, enthusiastic “YES!”

WAIT,

What is this consent thing?? I’ve like seen it and like why do you have to be enthusiastic about saying it??? I’m so confused?

“Consent is truly a simple concept to understand, but first let’s identify what consent isn’t. You’ve probably heard the phrase “no means no.” This is true, but this expression is not adequate because there are many other ways to communicate no. Freezing up, saying you’re tired, crying, or pulling away are a few examples of ways to communicate no. A person doesn’t have to yell no, scream, kick, or bite for it to be exceedingly clear that they don’t want to engage in sexual activity.

Consent doesn’t need to be difficult or complicated! We all can naturally tell when someone is consenting or not- it’s just a question of respecting their choice. If there’s any uncertainty at all, just ask. For example, it could be as easy as five simple words: “Do you really want to?””*

Clear and freely given consent must be present every time people engage in any sexual activity (whether that’s intercourse, kissing, touching, etc). Without consent, any sexual activity is considered sexual assault – a criminal offense.

Worried about ruining the mood? Consent is not only mandatory and required by law, but it’s sexy. There’s nothing more attractive than showing respect to one another.

Consent is cool. It’s truly all about respect for one another. Respecting others AND respecting yourself. We all play a role in creating a campus where consent is the norm. How can we do this, you ask? The first step is always awareness. Simply educating people or speaking up and saying “that’s not cool.”

Remember, consent:

Cannot be present if the person is intoxicated
Can be taken away at any given time
Cannot be coerced or pressured

Sexual assault is a serious crime that has serious negative consequences on the parties involved. If you witness a non-consensual situation going on, please think twice next time about taking some action to prevent this situation. There is no such thing as non-consensual sex. We all play a role in changing the norms here at UBC and in the world as a whole.