In the following journal excerpt, I respond to the teacher assistant evaluation form feedback I received (in January 2011) for the course: Introduction to Creative Writing 202.\u00a0 The quote below is a highly negative comment given by a student in the class.<\/p>\n
“If this was the second t.a. who lectured on poetry and on hard or partial stops, she needs to prepare her lectures a lot more. I gave her the benefit of the doubt during her first try but she was flaky, which definitely undermined her argument that poetry was not an insubstantial, emotionally-driven art form. She didn’t look as if she knew what she was doing and it seemed that way because I got the sense she was completely winging it. The second try, she was more prepared but was still not the most riveting. It’s not as if she’s ignorant but she needs to work on her teaching skills if she doesn’t want to come off that way.”<\/p>\n
~Anonymous undergraduate student<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
My Response<\/h3>\n
Before I began TA\u2019ing, I prepared myself for rude reviews and personal attacks\u2014especially since it\u2019s a class of 180 students.\u00a0 Probability: moderately high.\u00a0 But, my initial reaction to this inflammatory feedback was not what I thought it would be.\u00a0 I skipped the ad-hominem cruelties like, \u201cshe was flaky,\u201d \u201cshe didn\u2019t look as if she knew what she was doing,\u201d etc., and concentrated on the statement: \u201c[she]\u2026undermined her argument that poetry was not an insubstantial, emotionally-driven art form.\u201d\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 How did I do that, exactly?<\/p>\n
The first conclusion I came to: this student has an already established prejudiced to poetry. Second: there\u2019s probably not much I could\u2019ve done to dissuade him.\u00a0 I pacified myself with the adage, \u201cyou win some you lose some.\u201d\u00a0 But still, something was bothering me like a small burn on tender skin.\u00a0 Why was this student so biased?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t everyone know that poetry is a substantial art form that humans have turned to as a mode of emotional expression for hundreds, no thousands of years?<\/p>\n
The Anti-Flakey Argument<\/span><\/h3>\n
Eventually, my thoughts returned to the ad-hominem attack.\u00a0 Am I really flaky and ill prepared?\u00a0 I thought over my lecture and concluded that no one in his or her right mind would conclude that is was \u201cwinging it.\u201d\u00a0 This is why\u2014for 1.5 hours of teaching, I spent many hours working on my presentation material:<\/p>\n
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- I made up my own three-page handout and went through it with the class question-by-question.<\/li>\n
- I worked on a PowerPoint presentation for at least three hours.<\/li>\n
- The poem we discussed in class was colour coded for line breaks, metaphor, image, style of the voice, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Who colour codes a poem?\u00a0 Apparently I do.<\/p>\n
The Sting Begins to Burn<\/span><\/h3>\n
A few hours after I read the review, I realized that this little burn had turned into a patch of seared flesh.\u00a0 What could I do to stop the irritation?\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m a professional and I can\u2019t let one angry comment get to me. Right?\u00a0 But, because it is my nature to muse and muse over things, I kept at the little wound.\u00a0 I returned to the phrase, \u201cinsubstantial, emotionally-driven art form\u201d and the word, \u201cflaky\u201d numerous times.<\/p>\n
Eventually, I stewed over it until the \u201caha!\u2019 moment came. The professor who taught the class had an obvious prejudice to poetry.\u00a0 In fact, I think he introduced the poetry section of the class as, \u201cthe flakiest section\u201d and jeered me and the other poetry TA\/lecturer on our \u201cfairy art form with lots of feelings\u201d in it.<\/p>\n
An overwhelming thought: it is possible that the professor\u2019s attitude was directly implanted in this student and\/or for this student, the professor’s bias caused an already occurring dislike for the genre of poetry within this student to boil over.<\/p>\n
A Partial Sequitur<\/span><\/h3>\n
Now I see there is no glass between the students and the teachers, there is a thin bi-lipid layer like the one that coats each cell in our bodies.\u00a0 Information passes through this cell wall via our student\u2019s ears and eyes.\u00a0 Our attitudes and our enthusiasm or disdain is easily\u2014no readily\u2014absorbed.\u00a0 At moments like this, when I realize I have the power to inspire my students or turn the wheels of prejudice in their brains, I feel overwhelmed.<\/p>\n
I also feel angry and frustrated by the professor\u2019s attitude.\u00a0 For a fact, I know he respects poetry (deep down inside, or this is what he said) but delights in making poets squirm in their butter dish of manifold insecurities.\u00a0 For me, a crucial question has been raised: How does a teacher navigate another teacher\u2019s mistakes and prejudices?<\/em> In this case, I tried to defend poetry and my attachment to it many times but was unable to properly address the problem for two reasons:<\/p>\n
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- I felt uncomfortable questioning my boss\u2019 authority in front of the proper authorities, namely our department head.\u00a0 If I did, opportunities for more TA work might be denied me in the future.<\/li>\n
- This feedback came so late in the game, weeks after the class\u2019 end.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
The first reason is indeed very complicated and too complex for this journal entry.\u00a0 However, the second one is easier to address, easier to fix.\u00a0 Feedback is an essential, no, a central part of teaching.\u00a0 As a student, person, teacher, I thrive on feedback (grades, constructive criticism, advice from my mentors).\u00a0 Though its possible that this student\u2019s mind might not\u2019ve been changeable, de-programmable, it was possible for me to have addressed the problem to the whole class (it’s likely others were negatively influenced).<\/p>\n
In the future, when lecturing for so many students, I will try having feedback forms for them to fill out right after my lecture ends.\u00a0 This way, I can get a sense of their love\/dislike\/disdain\/enthusiasm for my subject area and better fine tune my next lecture or help my professor address the mood of the class in his lectures.<\/p>\n
But for now, I pacify myself with the old adage, \u201cyou win some you lose some\u201d while I look through teaching job prospects on the internet and hope to \u201cwin some\u201d of these someday soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In the following journal excerpt, I respond to the teacher assistant evaluation form feedback I received (in January 2011) for the course: Introduction to Creative Writing 202.\u00a0 The quote below is a highly negative comment given by a student in … Continue reading