CRUNCH! Zig felt his narrow backseats collapse furiously into his unassuming and extremely ill-prepared back. \u201cCrunch…\u201d Zig mimicked in a dazed voice. He reached out ineffectually before realising that his face and most of his frontal body was severely incapacitated by a rather voluminous airbag. \u201cCrunch\u201d Zig repeated apologetically. As he spoke the airbag popped and this gave him a grainy glance at his now oblong steering wheel. It had ventured precariously into the third dimension. Zig winced.<\/p>\n
He clambered out of his mutilated automobile. For some reason, his transporter now had an uncanny resemblance to an overused, double-holed, pencil sharpener. The wheels on the left-hand side had become fused in a hot, rubbery embrace and now showed no desire of disengaging. Zig braved a glance at his car\u2019s bonnet. Or where it should have been: a troll-like truck had invaded the position and was currently in the process of reversing from the depths of Zig\u2019s car. The truck, surprisingly, was untouched; except for an insignificant disturbance above the left indicator lamp, all other evidence suggested that the truck could have been in a showroom the previous week.<\/p>\n
Zig waved his arms dejectedly for the driver to halt his slimy retreat and pull-up on the side of the lonely highway. Unexpectedly, the man appeared to acquiesce, whipping his key out of the car and labouring his hefty frame onto the scorching road. The man reminded Zig of a rather grouchy, flattish toad, who has been forced to vacate his favourite lily pad by an energetic fly.<\/p>\n
\u201c HEY YOU!\u201d He started. \u00a0\u201cYou with the zonked car, wha\u2019 dya mean scratchin\u2019 my truck?\u201d croaked the toad in what seemed to be an accent that varied from an inhabitant of the distant Corfu Islands to a Texas rancher respectively.<\/p>\n
\u201cEh\u201d inquired Zig insipidly.<\/p>\n
\u201cDoncha \u2018eahh\u2019 me\u201d spouted the agitated amphibian. \u201cYou breaka my cah, you h\u2019apoligise h\u2019and pay up, h\u2019okay?<\/p>\n
Zig slowly came to his senses. He felt like his brain was a large, entangled bundle of coil that had been hacked, mercilessly, in two.<\/p>\n
\u201cSir\u2026\u201d he said in an attempt to be respectful. \u201cSir\u2026, you \u2018zonked\u2019 my car\u201d, he indicated the smashed sedan.<\/p>\n
\u201cYa stop h\u2019in the middle of the \u2018ighway, dats what\u2019s gonna \u2018appen!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy car stopped because its hind portions were raked by your truck!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEh?\u201d imitated the froggy man. \u201cThat \u2018cause you braked in the middle of da road.\u201d<\/p>\n
Zig started to reply, but then paused. A manic glint had entered his eye and was spreading surreptitiously along his face. He deftly thwacked the pipa-like man, grabbed his keys, hopped into the gleaming truck and sped off. The repetitive \u2018thump-thump\u2019 of the truck driver\u2019s preferred club music bizarrely brought memories of thousands of popping airbags. It was all strangely soothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
CRUNCH! Zig felt his narrow backseats collapse furiously into his unassuming and extremely ill-prepared back. \u201cCrunch…\u201d Zig mimicked in a dazed voice. He reached out ineffectually before realising that his face and most of his frontal body was severely incapacitated by a rather voluminous airbag. \u201cCrunch\u201d Zig repeated apologetically. As he spoke the airbag popped […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28516,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189018],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-65","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/28516"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=65"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":66,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65\/revisions\/66"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=65"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=65"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/organizingchaos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=65"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}