Revised Peer Review of the Definition Assignment

Standard

To: Yury Zhuk

From: Priyanka Patel

Date: September 27, 2019

Subject:  Peer Review of Definition – Machine Learning

I read your definition of machine learning posted on the team forum, and I thorougly enjoyed reading about it. Please see my feedback on the assignment below.

First Impressions:

I was not very familiar with the term until I read your definition. And your explanation under expanded definition seems clear and easy to follow. You have used your subheadings and visuals appropriately.

Organization: 

  • The purpose of the definition is clear, and well organized through bold subheadings, and bullet points.
  • There is a great amount of detail for readers to learn and understand.
  • Expanded definition should have atleast four expansion strategies.
  • Proper title is used under the graphic to understand the visual. However, it is missing citation.

Expression: 

  • Your writing is done in a professional tone throughout your assignment.
  • The purpose of the definition in Parenthetical definition is more like a fact than a meaning of the term.
    • “Machine Learning (a class of mathematical and computer algorithms) approaches have gained popularity in the last decade.”
  • Elaborate about Arthur Samuel in your first sentence. Once again, not everyone knows Arthur Samuel’s role in computer and technology.
    • Perhaps, your first sentence can be, “The term…to Arthur Samuel, who was an American pioneer in the field or computer gaming and artificial intelligence (AI).
  • In the first sentence where you mentioned about “IBM studying AI”. For a reader who is not familiar with the acronym AI, it would be best to include a full word with letters in the bracket the first time you use it in your writing. So, it is clear for the readers and knows exactly what the letters mean.

Content: 

  • Your assignment has the following:
    • three forms of definition
    • a visual
  • Your assignment requires work on:
    • a detailed introduction
    • four types of expansion instead of three
    • Atleast three works cited list instead of two

Visuals: 

  • More explanation on the visual would help understand it better.

Work Cited List: 

  • Sources are cited properly with dates.

Grammar and Typos: 

  • I noticed you have used term “who’s” in a sentence, “attributed to Arthur Samuel, who’s team at IBM studied AI as an academic discipline.” You should use a full word here in formal writing. For example, use ‘who is’ or ‘whose’ as applicable.

Concluding comments:

Your assignment was interesting to read as I was not familiar to term at all. Overall it was informative, and organized for a reader to follow it easily. You seem to be on the right track for your writing and I hope my recommendations help you further improve your assignment.

Thank you and please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I had a pleasure reviewing your assignment.

 

 

 

To: Priyanka Patel

From: Yury Zhuk

Date: September 27, 2019

Subject:  Assignment 1:3 Definition of Machine Learning

I read your definition of machine learning posted on the team forum. I was not very familiar with the term until I read your definition. And your explanation under expanded definition seems clear and easy to follow.

The purpose of the definition is clear, and you seemed to have covered great amount of detail. My only recommendation is to have atleast three references as per the guideline for this assignment.

I want you to pay more attention to some details in your writing. First point I wanted to mention is elaborating on Arthur Samuel in your first sentence. Once again, not everyone knows Arthur Samuel’s role in computer and technology. Perhaps, your first sentence can be, “The term…to Arthur Samuel, who was an American pioneer in the field or computer gaming and artificial intelligence (AI).

Next, I wanted to bring your attention to the first sentence where you mentioned about “IBM studying AI”. For a reader who is not familiar with the acronym AI, it would be best to include a full word with letters in the bracket the first time you use it in your writing. So, it is clear for the readers and knows exactly what the letters mean.

Overall you seem to be on the right track for your writing and I hope my recommendations help you further improve your assignment. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

 

 

 

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