my computer died mid-way and I thought this hadn’t saved and was about to crash out

It took me longer to get through this novel, but as I slowly warmed up to the setting and the narrative, I became drawn in by Zobal’s world and character building. M’man Tine’s character, in particular, was what struck me the most. Her sacrifices and strict expectations since the time of raising Delia are what allowed the later generations of her family to succeed.

It was heartbreaking because it seemed that this whole time, she accepted that there wouldn’t be any future left for her anymore; that the only way of change and life to bet on would be Jose. This was seen when she chose to move away from Black Shack Alley, when she kept on sending letters to Delia to raise Jose, and when she decided not to make him work for the petites-bandes. With each generation, they took one step farther away from the fate of many black people born in the Black Shack Alley; from M’man Tine working in the fields, to Delia working in the city, to Jose entering the bacculereate.

This reminded me of my family’s own history and of the generations my mother saved because of her decision to leave the Philippines and move to Canada. Although we did not face the same racial segregation and discrimination as the characters in Black Shack Alley, my mother experienced a similar level of poverty. She told me of the days when she thought my siblings would have to starve because they couldn’t work up enough money to buy food, and about the times when she had to send my siblings away to different relatives so she could work and make money.

Then one day on a whim, without any money, familial support, and with 5 kids to raise (me just newly in her womb lol), my mom found ways to afford an education in the Phillipines then worked as a caregiver in Canada to move the family there. Just like M’man Tine, it was because of her constant determination, hard work, and hopeful belief in the future that saved our family from a worse life (this is important because I don’t think Jose is completely “saved” and still has to keep on experiencing cruelty and systemic injustices).

Relating to this, I also thought a lot about what it must have felt like as a child being treated so harshly by an elder when all you want is to have fun with friends and play around. Jose was disciplined harshly and kept close to M’man Tine, which felt to him like incarceration. He questioned a lot about the role of parents and adults, not understanding their anger, fear, and actions. I now realise how true Zobal depicted Jose’s emotions as a child.

Adults are the worst when we’re kids, it feels like they actively work against our wishes and desires; but as we grow older, we realize that the ignorance that comes from being children is a blessing and moreso an indicator that our family took greater care to make sure that we don’t see the cruelty of the world. I also enjoyed how, like Jose, it took me time to understand the nature of the plantation, how his friends were made to work, and how society was structured during his time.

idk, were you always in the know as a child of how cruel society could be?