Prompt: Write a short story (600 – 1000 words max) that describes your sense of home and the values and stories that you use to connect yourself to your home
A few weeks ago, my brother and I swapped rooms. He had recently moved back into our family home in Fort Langley, and since I currently live on campus at UBC, my old room wasn’t being used too frequently. My parents thought it might be nice for him to get a bit of a “fresh start”, following some life events, and a brand new room was a good way to do that.
He cleared out all his furniture, bought a new duvet and got woodworking – he’s incredibly handy, and quickly built a desk, shelving unit and a window seat. He now has a new room, detached from some of the harder memories that accompanied the last one. As for me, I also have a new room, painted a colour I don’t prefer, and without the nostalgic hominess of my previous abode.
When I went home this past weekend, my dad told me that what I needed was to put up a few picture frames, in order to make it personalized, and a bit less like a guest room. I guess what I’m trying to describe here is the process of “turning a house into a home”. For me, this new room felt detached – it did not hold any significant memories, I had spent very little time there, and it just felt unfamiliar.
I’ve never considered space to be an important aspect of the word ‘home’. For me, what has always felt like home is relationships, the kind where you take a big, deep breath and relax, and don’t stress about what to say or how to act. My home in Fort Langley has always been one of those places for me – where I can come home from a busy week of University homework stress and socializing, and just unwind. But some of my close friendships that I’ve made here at UBC also feel like a comforting home as well. So has my Aunt and Uncle’s house, in the Okanagan, and my church here in Vancouver. As a Christian, coming into community with other Christians has also been a comforting experience. It’s about being known and understood, and cared for. And being able to let your guard down.
The importance of spaces, such as my bedroom in Fort Langley, is when they accompany those relationships and memories. Putting up pictures of me doing activities I love, or including objects such as a vase that I made in pottery with my friend, or a book that my mom lent me, are what turn a random, furnished room into something that feels like home. However, this still needs to be accompanied by loving people, and that feeling of safeness, where I can come home from a tiring day and lose the tension in my shoulders as I kick off my shoes.
Taken from Pinterest.
I think that much of my understanding of home has been shaped by my parents – they have emphasized to me that humans are really meant to live in community, though this is incredibly rare today, and that everyone, at the least, needs significant human interaction. In our current society, isolation is everywhere. But meaning, and a sense of home, is found in human interaction and community. One thing that I have always been fascinated with is communal life. I remember looking at pictures taken from National Geographic, which I was able to pull up here, of a commune in the states. I also used to love reading about the way that ‘hippie’ communes functioned in the 60s to 80s (I have attached a popular photo that I used to love, which romanticizes the ‘hippie commune’ lifestyle). As well, I used to read some Amish fiction when I was younger, fascinated with people who lived simply and on the land, and whose homes revolved around community. I probably romanticized all of those examples in my head, but there was a reason that I was so drawn to these stories and ways of living – I think they exemplify what a home is meant to be. In essence, it is about being known, and feeling safe, and finding significance.
References
Vandross, Luther. “A House is Not a Home”. Never Too Much, Genius. Retrieved from https://genius.com/Luther-vandross-a-house-is-not-a-home-lyrics
Amish Fiction. Christianbook. Retrieved from https://www.christianbook.com/page/fiction/amish
Rice, Sarah & Alexandrah Genova. “An intimate look inside a modern American commune”. National Geographic, July 25. 2017. Retrieved from https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2017/07/commune-farm-sustainability-mineral-virginia/
Thank you for your words, Rachel. I feel resonance with your ideas that the feeling of home comes when we can breathe easy, be natural, spontaneous, present and relaxed. Accepted fully as we are.
I thought I’d share with you that I spend quite a bit of time living in communes of sorts. Right now, I’m caretaking an off-grid ashram north of Terrace, BC. For the winter, there are only two of us here, but in spring, summer and fall, it’s a vibrant and dynamic intentional community rooted in yogic values, devotion, and selfless service. We offer our prayers and thanks to all manifestations of divinity – Jesus, Kali, Buddha, the land, the water…. I also spend time living in tree planting and cherry picking camps, and spent my summers as a teenager at an Anglican summer camp on the north shore of Lake Huron. It’s easy to romanticize, but my experiences have also been very romantic. I take time, always, to keep learning about cults and the ways they manifest so I don’t get tricked into one…
Thank you for your words and thoughts.
Kindly,
Georgia
Thank-you Rachel.
I found your ruminations on community fascinating and, indeed, heartwarming.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but from your journal I get the sense that “home” is a concept closely tied to the rejection of isolation for you, and that this is vital.
I connect with your expression, “as a Christian, coming into community with other Christians has also been a comforting experience. It’s about being known and understood, and cared for.” The desire to be truly known is a deeply emphatic ache. And ideally, in the physical space which defines your home, you would be able to be yourself openly if you so choose (religiously, politically, socially, personally) and know that you are accepted and welcomed in that home.
I am Catholic-Christian, and the freedom to practice religion in your geographic home is not only important: but it is a right which not everyone is privileged enough to be legally protected with in their home.