Agostino: A woman doesn’t pay attention to me anymore? I guess I’m just a loser.

The opening scene of “Agostino” sets the tone of the text: toxic male jealousy. As a 13-year-0ld boy, Agostino loves the attention of his mother. Whether or not this was incestious, it demonstrates how important his mother is to him, and when she gives attention to other men, Agostino gets marvelously jealous. This “jealousy” fades he learns what acts lovers do (pg. 40). I noticed within the opening scene, “his” mother is transitioned into “the” mother, and I wonder if this symbolizes how Agostino separates their familial relation into another (p. 4). Another example on page 6: after a young man had asked his mother for a ride, Agostino suddenly describes her as “the woman” walking behind the man, “meekly, with her usual languid and majestic serenity.” I’d like to talk about this use of pronouns more in class.

This toxic masculinity seems to stem from his obsession with being better than other men. In other words, he cares more about what men think of him than women do, yet he uses women to get validation from other men. He describes his interactions with his mom on the beach as if others would be watching with jealousy (p. 1), or dancing with “a female cousin” at an event until she received another offer from another man (p. 7). His insecurities come from rejection because the women in his life tend to look for “better” men; yet, he comes off narcissistic to hide those insecurities (p.78).

At the same time, Agostino’s mother is comfortable flirting with Renzo in front of him, of which a 13-year-0ld boy (or any aged son) may be uncomfortable with. He notices how his mother’s demeanor changes from strong and graceful to a “feminine clumsiness” so she could gain attention from Renzo accompanying them (p. 11). At times, he often feels like his mother is choosing another man over spending time with him, like when she goes into the water with Renzo instead of rowing with Agostino (p. 13). When he sarcastically brought up how they weren’t going into the ocean because the Renzo didn’t show, she softly slapped his cheek at the comment (p. 14). All of this reinforces Agostino’s idea that he isn’t enough for women, and that all men are better than him. Insecure, yes, and his mom has the right to spend time with a romantic interest, but maybe not in the way she is doing it directly in front of him.

I was reminded of a study done with monkeys, trying to answer the question: “Does testosterone make men inherently violent?” Testosterone predicts dominance, social status, and aggression only when necessary to maintain that status; hence the boy fights between Agostino and the other boys (p. 25). Using women as a way to maintain status seems to cause toxic masculinity that harms both genders, which is why it’s important for everyone to have healthy social circles and good friends. Agostino doesn’t seem to have many friends, very reliant on his mother for attention, and thus is thirsty for validation from the boys on the beach.

My question: is Agostino really attracted to his mother, or is she the closest person to him and isn’t aware of her sexually until he learns what sex is?

Sarah