Today I sat down to watch one of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight, on DVD. I haven’t watched a DVD in a while, I usually just stream from the internet.

I remember when DVD’s were first introduced. Besides the obvious improvements in image quality, the main benefit for me as a kid: now I didn’t have to spend 5 minutes rewinding every time I rented  a copy of Mary Kate & Ashley: Winning London before I could watch it.

Another benefit was you could just skip the movie previews. Instantly. Simply press the “menu” button.

• Which ceased to exist on any remote I was unaccustomed to.

Days spent interchangeably fastforwarding through the Platinum Special Edition Disney RE-RE-RE-release of Snow White, and then rewinding because I overshot the beginning of the movie, were a thing of the past.

• 1080p out of a cartoon made in 1937,  fairy tales do come true

However, This is not the experience I had today. When I thumbed for the good ol’ trust “menu” button, I expecting to be warped into the feature presentation. Do you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. And just in case I wasn’t aware nothing was happening, a little X appeared in the top corner of the screen. Thank you Samsung.

• “Please Play Again”

I was shocked, offended, and scared.

But luckily, I had a few more tricks up my sleeve.

• “These aren’t the previews I’m looking for”

Apparently advertisers realized a while ago that by purchasing DVD’s people had too much freedom in choosing whether or not to be subjected to their marketing. That’s the biggest breach of human rights since…

• Egg Management Fee