Teresa de la Parra’s Mama Blanca’s Memoirs, with its interlaced filtered and unfiltered accounts of childhood memories, illuminated my own long-buried childhood memories. As I reached the end of the book, I found myself struggling to recall the last time I shared my own experiences with someone. I surmised that Mama Blanca’s motivation for creating “Portrait of Her Memories” was to preserve her untold stories for someone she held dear, someone, who would truly appreciate her offerings and fulfill her innate desire to tell her tales, which she knew her sons and daughters-in-law could not fulfill. Mama Blanca chose to express her memories through a serenely flowing river of words, much like how artists capture their wild imaginings in paintings, photographers capture moments through the click of a shutter, and musicians capture their emotions through harmoniously combined notes. I drifted down the river of her now-familiar stories, laughing and frowning as though I were a character within the tale.
As Mama Blanca discovers at the end of the book, “Change is the law of existence,” and “We should fold away our memories within ourselves without ever venturing to confront them with things and beings that life changes.” This realization left me feeling a sense of powerlessness and insignificance in Mama Blanca, whether it be a five-year-old, “uncivilized” girl who has never received formal education moving to Caracas, or simply one who is unable to return to the place they once called home. The ending of this book has left me with questions about the relationship between change and memories, and how to come to terms with feeling insignificant in the face of larger forces such as patriarchy and racial superiority that shape our lives, which I think are definitely worth contemplating.
Blanca’s “filtered” recollections of her initial encounters with Vicente Cochocho also sparked my curiosity. According to her description, their initial interaction was born out of a rebellious act against Evelyn’s command. The human tendency to shy away from that which is unsavory, akin to a three-year-old’s inclination to bestow a radiant smile only upon a relatively attractive individual, stirred within me an incessant ponderance of whether Blanca would have ever initiated a discourse with Vicente had it not been for the influence of Evelyn. This realization led me to wonder if Mama Blanca’s description of Vicente Cochocho in the book differs from her actual perception of him as a child.
Question: Does the acceptance of change mean we should let go of our past and memories? Is it possible to hold onto our past while still embracing change?
Hi! Good question. I think that it very much depends on what that past is and what the change is. Sometimes it is easier to accept change even though perhaps it is not the best thing to do for yourself or others. The past can also be a central part of your identity. For example for Blanca Nieves and her sisters, their childhood on the plantation shaped them and allowed for Blanca’s continued playful outlook on life.
Hi Shade! Thank you for your post, I enjoyed reading it. I thought it was interesting you mentioned that as you got to the end of the book you could not recall the last time you shared your experiences with someone. I did not think this when I reached the end of the book, but after reading you post, I realize I am in a similar boat where I have not just opened up to someone with all the different stories about my life in a long time, if ever. Thinking about it this way, it makes sense Mama Blanca would not want her stories shared with everyone, however she held onto them until she found someone she felt they were worth sharing with.
As for your question, I think our past and memories are continuously shaping our future selves, and even when welcoming change our past always will be apart of us. I think it is very possible to completely welcome change with open arms and transform our lives while still holding on to past events that have shaped us!
Hi Shade, I really enjoyed your blog post! I just wanted to add that I feel like the way Blanca and her siblings approach Vicente also mirrors the innocence that a child would have (or what we would assume they have). And to answer your question, I don’t think change necessarily means to forget your old habits, old ways, as this can lead us to forget what we are changing and what the purpose of it is. The past tells a lot about a person, be it good or bad and I think that will always be a part of someone’s being. I know famous people who come from humble beginnings always refer back to their life prior and comment something along the lines of “I never thought this would happen, I was just a poor little boy/girl dreaming big and here I am now.”. I think it also builds some identification with the audience that if they were person A before, they can also change and grow into this new version of themselves.