October 2017 Diary Entry
Dear Diary,
In this sacred space, I wish to share the profound realizations that have recently unfolded in my life. At this moment, I am deeply immersed in tapas, a yogic practice akin to setting intentions, focusing my energies on a specific goal. My chosen path within this practice is the observation of my thoughts.
Day 1: Challenges and Opportunities
The initial day brought forth an array of challenges. However, I reframed these challenges as opportunities to attain a more authentic understanding of my reality. It became evident that my life had been permeated by negative energy. Before this practice, I had unconsciously accepted this negativity as a standard part of social interaction—a robotic response to life’s situations.
Day 2: Identifying Negative Thought Patterns
As the second day unfolded, I found myself making significant progress. I began to identify and acknowledge these negative thought patterns. With this newfound awareness, I could intercept these thoughts before they took root, either transforming them into positivity or merely observing their destructive nature. I also gleaned insights into my own inner psyche. I learned that preserving my inner peace, rather than sacrificing it in the name of “helping” others, is a profound gift I can offer.
Day 3: A Moment of Clarity
Today, after immersing myself in a spiritual discourse titled “Unwitting the Devil” and reflecting upon the teachings of Ihsan Torabi in the Law of Attraction training module and Awakenings Academy Group Calls, I experienced a moment of absolute clarity. Everything suddenly clicked into place. I gained an unprecedented understanding of the devil’s identity and its cunning tricks.
A Profound Fear
Yet, within this moment of clarity, a profound fear surfaced. It was not the fear of the devil or God’s wrath. It didn’t lead me down a path of fervent religiosity. Instead, it was a fear that shook me to my core—a fear for humanity’s future. I was gripped by the dread of what may befall us if we do not turn toward the light. Most importantly, it was a fear for the generations to come. It moved me to tears, and I felt an overwhelming urge to shield my children from the chaos that surrounds us.
Understanding My Responsibilities
In this revelation, I grasped the true extent of my responsibilities toward my children. It extends beyond providing them with basic necessities. I must instill within them a profound consciousness, an awareness of existence that transcends the limitations of international school education or religious training. I recognized that this duty falls squarely on my shoulders, but I can only fulfill it by embarking on my own path of inner illumination.
The Interconnectedness of All
The concept of interconnectedness became abundantly clear. There is no “I,” but rather a vast, vibrational tapestry of energy we call “we.” To transcend and evolve, we must relinquish our self-centeredness and embrace the idea that we are all responsible for one another. It is through this realization that we can break free from the confines of selfishness and self-interest.
Embracing Vulnerability
Through my yoga practice, I have encountered the notion of the etheric body and various energy points within the physical body. By working through these, we can elevate our existence to the luminous beings we are meant to be. It became evident that I still have much personal work to undertake in my journey toward “knowing” and “being.”
A Glimpse of Divine Love
Last night, as I chanted “Ya noor,” I experienced a deep-seated fear akin to what I had never felt before. Yet, within that vulnerability, a profound thought emerged—a vision of a new Earth, a reality illuminated by light. I now understand what Brother Ihsan meant by redirecting our focus to our inner qibla. Allah, it seems, prefers to shatter the physical Kaaba rather than the heart of another human.
Spreading Light through Positive Words
Each interaction has the power to leave a mark on another’s heart. Positive words uplift and guide toward the light, while negativity—judgment, reprimand, criticism—pushes others toward the devil. Negativity creates blockages, veiling the heart and hindering its proper function.
A Quiet, Peaceful Love
This morning, I awoke emotionally charged. The divine light within me has graced me with a glimpse of pure vision, filling my heart with profound love. It is a love for humanity, quiet and peaceful. I do not feel compelled to change the world or take radical action. Instead, I harbor a serene love, much like the love we feel as parents watching our children navigate the world—watching them grow and figure things out, knowing they will find their way.
A Vision of Hope
I have faith that our children will figure it out. Similarly, I believe that humanity will find its way. My heart is filled with this hope, this quiet and peaceful love that assures me that everything will be fine.
With love and light,
Shana
