Coming back from Spring break was a challenge. A real challenge.
While I rested, relaxed and found time for myself, coming back to reality was unexpectedly challenging. Long nights of planning and stress seemed to instantly wipe away the preceding week and a half of relaxation. Lessons plans seemed long and slow, teaching (while exciting) seemed more exhausting. But as the first week back at school bled into the second, everything came back to me.I remembered how to plan, how to manage the class, and I started to learn again. And I finally felt like part of the community (students, administrators, and teachers).
I finished up my time with the English 12 class in the 8th week. I felt embraced, and I truly enjoyed my time with them – but they required a completely different skill set – especially in regards to analytical thinking. And then I took on Art 12 – and it’s been fantastic too! By day two, art felt natural and comfortable and fun for me – but completely different than the other two settings.
The whole last two weeks has also included some of my most enjoyeable time interacting with teachers and students. This time in the halls and staff room can be exhilarating and has made me feel far more connected and accepted than any time before spring break. Last weekend I played in a teacher volleyball tournament, and found myself beginning to relax and be who I am – and to connect with others.
To help future me (and me from the past if I every learn to travel in time), I’m going to provide some free pointers as a reminder about this experience to keep me growing.
Point one: Connect as must as possible.
Just being connected to another person and hearing there stories has the possibility of creating real happiness.
Point two: Don’t beat yourself up.
There have been many ups and downs on the practicum. So many unexpected turns – unexpected lessons that went nothing like I’d planned but worked out better than I possibly could have imagined. And so many lessons I meticulously planned, only to fall flat.
I have been challenged to the enth degree (just ask my family) – and I’m better for it.
It was a long time coming and still exhausting. But I finally truly feel like I am going to be able to do this. And do it well. It may take time, and I don’t think I’ll ever be completely satisfied with myself – but that’s a good think; I’ll keep on learning and keep on growing and keep on loving what I’m doing.
Point three: It takes a lot to teach – you’re doing amazing work – and you don’t need to be perfect everyday.
It’s scary to me how much I’ve learned. Scary to think that before I got into the education program, I already thought I was prepared enough to be a teacher. Scary to think that after a few years of coaching, I knew what teaching would entail.
And scary to realize that many people have an even smaller appreciation of what goes into teaching and will probably never understand or appreciate it.
Patience. Passion. Enthusiasm. Humility. Honesty. Flexibility. Organization. Love. And so much more.
This blog has been all over the place – probably a result of the majour lack of sleep, but I wanted to wrap up with a final point that I’ve been waiting all practicum long for.
Point four: Be yourself.
I’ve always struggled with my identity. Struggled to be what I thought people wanted. Struggled to be what I thought I wanted.
I am unique – and charismatic – a perfectionist – creative – goofy – energetic – and caring. I want the best for all even when I don’t know how to give that. I struggle when I feel judged, when I feel a need to be “cool.” I am the best when I am me. And I knew that was when I would be best as a teacher – but it took me 8 weeks to finally be able to feel like me.
Because me is beautiful. And so are you.
Point five: This is going to be the best job in the world.
Nuff said.
Time to sleep.
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