I am deeply disturbed. The story follows three women forced into polygamous marriages, starting with Ramla, who has just finished high school and found true love, only for her parents to marry her off to a fifty-year-old rich man because money. Then there’s Hindou, Ramla’s sister, who is married to her alcoholic, abusive cousin, who rapes, beats and psychologically tortures her. Lastly, Safira, the first wife of Ramla’s new husband, seeks vengeance on Ramla for taking away her man, offering different perspective on the same system. What a way to end this course.
Ramla and Safira’s stories were both devastating in different ways. When Ramla is married off, her mother tells her, “Marriage isn’t just about love. The most important thing for a woman is to be sheltered from need. Protected, idolized” (22). Yet we see in Hindou’s story the opposite is true. Her fate is so horrific that I almost had to stop reading, but I felt like I owed it to these women to at least finish the book.
Through Safira’s perspective, we see just how deeply Ramla is affected by the marriage, she becomes depressed, miscarries, and runs away. And yet Safira herself is also complicated: she spends much of her narrative trying to ruin Ramla’s life, but she is distraught when Ramla finally leaves. These women, who are set up as rivals, are ultimately united in their suffering and in their horrible marriage to yet another horrible man.
The back of the book claims the women “defy the oppressive traditions that dominate their lives,” and in some ways, that’s true. Ramla runs away, Hindou tries to escape, Safira fights for her position. But their defiance is still trapped within an extremely patriarchal system. In the end, Hindou is labeled insane, Ramla disappears, and Safira is simply given another co-wife to compete with.
So I keep wondering, did any of them ever truly escape at any point? Will these women ever be free?
Something else that pisses me off is how all this is justified. The polygamous marriage is framed as religious, as something rooted in the Quran, as a man’s right. But time and time again, the men disregard religion whenever it suits them. Ramla is already engaged to Aminou, and her father breaks that engagement purely for financial gain. Disgusting. If I have to read the word “munyal” one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.
3 replies on “The Impatient (I am deeply disturbed)”
“Something else that pisses me off is how all this is justified. The polygamous marriage is framed as religious, as something rooted in the Quran, as a man’s right. But time and time again, the men disregard religion whenever it suits them”.
Interesting. The way of approaching religion is for sure different between men and women. And the novel portrays it quite well.
See you on Wednesday
Julián.
I felt the same reading this, especially how disturbing Hindou’s story was. It really did feel like no one actually gets out, even when they try, which made it even harder to read.
Hi Sofia, I agree that this book was deeply upsetting, especially because it’s based on real life events that the author experienced. I enjoyed reading your blog!