Rita Indiana’s Papi was a thought-provoking read. In terms of difficulty, it was one of the ‘lighter’ reads—comparably bigger fonts, very colloquial narration, and manageable length. However, this book made me reflect on my relationship with my father and family in general.
“Papi’s there, around any corner. But you can’t sit down and wait for him cuz that’s a longer and more painful death. It’s better to make other plans, to just stay in your PJs and watch cartoons from six in the morning until midnight, or even go out for a stroll, which is a game Mami made up for herself called if-Papi-wants-you-he-can-come-find-you” (1).
This was such a sad and powerful quote that got me really interested in the book right from the get-go. Being introduced to the character Papi through this context, I had so many initial questions regarding the character—such as “what does this ‘Papi’ do, to not always ‘want’ to be with his daughter?” I even questioned if he was alive or not. However, after getting to know much more about Papi, his unique traits, his unrealistically never-ending list of possessions, and his twisted (?) love life, I realized that he just wasn’t an ordinary—nor a good—father; at least in my opinion. He definitely was portrayed as what Professor Jon described as a “macho man lifted straight from the stereotypes of Latin American and Caribbean pop culture masculinity” (Indiana Lecture, p.1).
In the lecture, Professor Jon stated, “So that narrator has to come to terms with the loss of someone who was never quite there (for her) in the first place” (p. 1). This got me reflecting on my relationship with my dad. For quick context, I have been separated from my dad since kindergarten, as my mom and I came to Canada for my education and my dad stayed in Korea to work; my parents are still together, but our family just lived separated. Growing up without a ‘father figure’ throughout my daily life while still ‘having a father’, there were many aspects of the narrator that I was able to relate to. However, I was still able to visit my dad when “I” wanted to (a big difference with the narrator), and my dad supported both my mom and I to his best ability. So for me, when I have to “come to terms with the loss of someone who was never quite there [for me]” but still present more or less in my life, I think I will feel a big sense of loss and sorrow (Indiana Lecture, p.1).
Q: I wonder how others felt while reading about the father character (Papi). Did you feel uncomfortable? What sort of emotions did you have towards Papi?
Thank you Daniel for sharing part of your life story. The conversation with Dr. Arturo Victoriano gives some clues about how migration is presented in this novel and the consequences it has had not only for the Dominican Republic’s economy but also for daily life styles. The idea of “a better life” thanks to US dollars and products is present in the imagination of those who grew up during the beginnings of neoliberalism, and this effect continues to this day.
Hi Daniel,
Great post, thanks for sharing.
To answer your question, it was pretty emotional for me rather than uncomfortable. Well, some parts made me a bit uncomfortable, but I want to talk about the emotional aspect. In the book, there was this scene where the daughter was getting ready to go to the beach with papi, but papi never showed up. She waits all day, doesn’t do anything, doesn’t eat, and just sits there on the chair. Then doctors came to force feed and hospitalize her because she refused to do anything. Reading that was heartbreaking. It was very emotional because I had sympathized with her, so rather than being uncomfortable, I was mad at papi. I felt anger and this bitterness towards him. I know many children live without their fathers, but his appearance and disappearance skewed with this girl’s heart, and mine.
Hi Daniel, I really appreciate hearing about your personal connection to the story. I share a somewhat similar background, so the perspective of Papi from the narrator really strikes a chord with me as well; especially to mourn someone who isn’t really there when they leave. Personally, seeing this character reminded me the most about the romanticization you have for your parents when you are a child. The way they can feel so distant to you, as if you don’t get to grasp what they might be thinking, and yet that feeling is an exciting one, that makes you feel all the more special when they do decide to let you into their world a little and they decide to play with you. This book conveyed that feeling very well, and made me all the more nostalgic to childhood, especially looking back now as a grown adult.