Author: Jessica Chang
CONVERSATIONS ON AUTHENTICITY
Just Starkers
Everything from poling a punt on the Thames to chasing trains in Southern France, Barbara’s got an impressive adventure resume. One event in particular stands out as a life-defining move.
“My travel companion and I had just checked into a hotel in Verona. She had already had a wash and was lying on the bed. I’m at the sink having a wash and all of a sudden she says “We’ve got to get out of here!” The chandelier and windows were shaking and we take off for the door and she doesn’t have a stitch of clothing on, nor do I. So there we were tearing out of our room just starkers. Crazy, man.”
As it turns out the shaking was due to Terremoto del Friuli, the 1976 Friuli earthquake. In hindsight, flying out of the room in the nude seems like a small price to pay to survive a building collapse.
I’m gay, is that going to matter?
In her fourth year at the University of British Columbia, Barbara wrote a paper for an ‘Abnormal Psychology’ course. The topic of choice was lesbianism. Awash in research literature, Barbara had her Eureka moment. “There I was reading all about it and a light bulb went off. This is me.”
Impermanence is Not Insignificance
Having been together for 26 years, Barbara and her partner had their share of memories and adventures. Even though they are no longer in a romantic relationship, Barbara still wears their twenty-fifth anniversary ring as a reminder of the time they had together; a subtle salute to an old love; a quiet acknowledgement of the past because impermanence does not equate to insignificance.
“I got cancer and I decided I wanted to be happy. That was me going away from the relationship.”
Shining a Spotlight on LGBTQ Issues
How one film sparked a dialogue on elderly LGBTQIA issues in New Westminster.
Along with Century House staff (past and current), Barbara flew out to the 2011 Aging in America conference in San Francisco to present on Century House’s Notable 90s group. Cutting-edge in its inception, the presentation of the Notable 90s group at the conference brought awareness to a new reality; increasingly, the population is living with vitality… well beyond 90 years of age.
While the main focus of the trip to San Francisco was to present the Notable 90s group, the conference also afforded Barbara and Century House staff the opportunity to watch the award-winning documentary Gen Silent. Directed by Stu Maddux, the film depicts a new issue in the so-called ‘progressive’ age: out of fear of being discriminated against, members of the elderly LGBTQIA are going back into the closet for the sake of their healthcare.
Reflecting on how Gen Silent resonated with her, Barbara tells me:
“You spend some chunk of your life pretending to not be gay, laughing at the gay jokes basically and then you get to a place where you want to be honest with who you are. But when you’re older and in a confined area where you don’t have the control… you don’t want to go back to that [pretending].”
Determined to bring the conversation home to New West, Barbara and the manager of Century House spearheaded a movement, culminating in a public viewing of Gen Silent at Century House with 200 people in attendance. This event brought exposure and focus to the topical issue and became the catalyst for the founding of Century House’s very own Senior Gay-Straight Alliance (SGSA).
The Senior GSA now meets on a monthly basis and is an invaluable community resource, giving seniors a safe space to be their authentic selves.
