After my last post, I felt quite positive about moving forward with my first course in the MET program. I was finding it easier to sit up in bed, and focus on the reading materials, and was starting to think that I might even be able to catch up on things!
A visit to the doctor changed my thoughts on this, however… The doctor gave me a positive report this past week, and wants me to be up and about a lot more this week. He has asked me to spend more time walking and sitting than lying down. At the same time, he wants me to limit my sitting time to 20 minutes or so, which means that I am constantly in motion. I am up and down a lot during the day, and trying to do the exercises that the physiotherapist has given me. In the end, I am finding that I have little time to sit and do the readings or responses to any of the modules for the course.
I have been thinking a lot about this course, and how to handle things. Upon reflection, I think that my adviser’s initial suggestion to postpone my enrollment in this course to a later date, is probably a wise one. With each passing day, I am feeling more and more anxiety around trying to catch up and be able to participate more fully in the course. Although the professor kindly offered for me to have full extensions on the postings and assignments, this means that I am not interacting with the other students, and that takes away from the learning substantially in my mind.
I am frustrated by my hesitance to take this route initially, but I was so eager to begin my MET journey that I didn’t want to put it off. However, sometimes things are out of our hands. I do believe this is one of those times. So… until January rolls around, I will be focusing on my recovery, and on making sure that I can back to teaching. Although this brings me to tears, I know that it is the best decision I can make for myself at this point in time.
It is not the end of the world. I have waited almost seven years to finally begin this program, so what is another few months in the larger scheme of things? Perspective. It comes down to this.