September 30, 2012 · 10:29

Perspective

After my last post, I felt quite positive about moving forward with my first course in the MET program.  I was finding it easier to sit up in bed, and focus on the reading materials, and was starting to think that I might even be able to catch up on things!
A visit to the doctor changed my thoughts on this, however… The doctor gave me a positive report this past week, and wants me to be up and about a lot more this week.  He has asked me to spend more time walking and sitting than lying down.  At the same time, he wants me to limit my sitting time to 20 minutes or so, which means that I am constantly in motion.  I am up and down a lot during the day, and trying to do the exercises that the physiotherapist has given me. In the end, I am finding that I have little time to sit and do the readings or responses to any of the modules for the course.

I have been thinking a lot about this course, and how to handle things.  Upon reflection, I think that my adviser’s initial suggestion to postpone my enrollment in this course to a later date, is probably a wise one.  With each passing day, I am feeling more and more anxiety around trying to catch up and be able to participate more fully in the course.  Although the professor kindly offered for me to have full extensions on the postings and assignments, this means that I am not interacting with the other students, and that takes away from the learning substantially in my mind.

I am frustrated by my hesitance to take this route initially, but I was so eager to begin my MET journey that I didn’t want to put it off.  However, sometimes things are out of our hands.  I do believe this is one of those times.  So… until January rolls around, I will be focusing on my recovery, and on making sure that I can back to teaching.  Although this brings me to tears, I know that it is the best decision I can make for myself at this point in time.
It is not the end of the world.  I have waited almost seven years to finally begin this program, so what is another few months in the larger scheme of things? Perspective.  It comes down to this.

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September 25, 2012 · 14:10

Off to a rough start…

This is the month that I finally began my Masters in Educational Technology, the program that I have been humming and hawing about for several years.  This past spring, I finally took the plunge, applied to the program and was accepted.  It was a milestone that I had been dreaming about for many years. The build-up was almost too much for me, and when the moment finally arrived earlier this month, I was like a kid in a candy store…

Life had other plans in store for me though, and I suddenly found myself lying in hospital with a broken spine.  It all happened in the blink of an eye, and I am still reeling in shock, if I am honest with myself.  And so, I sit here in my bed writing this blog post, admitting that this is not the start I had hoped for.  I have been in no position to even attempt to keep up with the readings or postings for the first three modules… even though the will was there.  There just wasn’t a way.  Perhaps if I had been home in Vancouver, with family there to read the articles to me while I lay in bed… but I am overseas in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.  Although I have a “family” of sorts here, through my workplace, with incredibly supportive friends and colleagues, there are limits to what I feel comfortable asking them to do.

An incredibly supportive and understanding professor has been my life-line, allowing me to continue the course with an alternate schedule.  I am finally getting on my feet a bit this week, and have started to catch up on the readings.  I managed to get my hands on a computer table that will allow me to use my laptop while laying down without putting a strain on my back, which has made typing so much easier.  The iPad is great for reading and highlighting articles, but typing on it from a horizontal position is challenging for me.

All that being said… I think that I may finally be finding my way through this maze of emotion, pain and disappointment.  This too shall pass, they say, and I have to believe that.  Although I am still in considerable pain, there was no permanent damage to my body.  I am thankful for this.  I am also grateful that I will be able to forge ahead with this little dream of mine to pursue my Masters.  It has been a long time coming.  I am grateful for the small mercies.

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