The first time I stood up at the podium to teach a class about poetic elements, I was unprepared. I mean, I was prepared as I could be by having my presentation ready to go, and I also practiced it a few times (more like a bunch) before a camera (even recorded myself in Zoom to emulate being in front of a group), plus I made sure that everything in my presentation was true (to make sure I could not be embarrassed by someone correcting me in front of the whole class)! So, I was as prepared as I could ever be going in, and I knew it was something I would have to do. I would have to do this in order to make it to the places I needed to go (wherever that was going to be). Honestly, starting the MFA program at UBC, I was not sure what my future held; all I knew was that it would have a lot of homework, writing (I love writing! not so much the homework part of it) and I knew as a TA I would have to teach a class or two ( perspires at the thought).
Such is life–we all transition many times throughout our lives. We graduate from pre-school, kindergarten, grade 6 or 7, grade 9 in some places, and of course grade 12! Then, we think our lives are really going to start. We work so hard towards graduating and growing up, and we have this false sense of ‘life will be better.’ As soon as we graduate, we find out that we have just reached another plateau. We reach another plateau and then have to climb the ‘mountain’ again no matter what we decide to do. We are always climbing mountains (some smaller, some bigger) to get to the next plateau. Even when we climb a molehill like getting our first job, it seems like a MOUNTAIN. And when we climb a big mountain like entering university and getting a degree or a Master’s, we will have had the practice of climbing many mountains and molehills. Then, we finally realize it is all about perspective.
For every mountain we have climbed–like grade 12, or a diploma, or even a new job–we reach a plateau of comfort of sorts. Every instructor or professor has also had to climb the same mountains we are now climbing. So, just know that they have also stood in the same spot you are, had their throat suddenly shrink from lack of oxygen and hydration, with their knees knocking and their voice quavering like they were riding in bumper cars trying to speak. Just ask them for support and let them know you are nervous, and they will absolutely help you because, at one time, they would have stood where you stood.
Don’t be afraid to climb the mountain because just the fact that you are here in higher education is telling about how much you want to be a part of changing the world and becoming the model person you watched as a child. Mine was a teacher who helped me see my own light when I couldn’t. Be that student and teacher who goes above and beyond, knees knocking, and spreads hope and learning to the world of other not-so-experienced climbers; reach out your hand like I know you would and help them up like I know the professors you are TA’ing for would help you. Be down to earth in all your humanness and never be afraid of being honest. We do not have to know everything and we may need to ask, but you will never know if you don’t try and let your knees knock sometimes–and just push through.