Dear Master Beaton,
By the grace of intellectus, We the most High and Mighty Office of Academia, defender of veritas, curiositas, and eruditio, from the un-ceded Museum land in the province of British Columbia in the strong and free sovereign nation of Canada, the take the utmost pleasure in congratulating you for having been conditionally admitted into the illustrious faculty of academia at our renown institution. Your pursuit of academic studies in the academic administration of academics to secondary pupils of English is admirable, and We have no doubts that our Most Excellent standards of excellence shall become your own should you successfully complete your freshman degree and accept our offer of matriculation in the years of our Lord two thousand and sixteen and two thousand seventeen. You should feel a sense of pride that you have become the sixty-fifth million fifty-second thousand one-hundred and thirty-sixth student to be admitted to our esteemed university, and your student designation will be such. Should you need to contact the university for any reason whatsoever, We formally request that your student designation be used in place of your name, and an identical procedure will also be required for registration and participation in educational activities at our venerable organization. Should you choose to decline our offer, though you would be mad to do so, your admittance in future processes of admittance will require a new application.
Should your wits be about you, however, and you instead choose to accept our offer, a period of not more than two weeks from the date of this letter has been allotted for you to further complete necessary application documents, which are to be delivered to the High and Mighty Office of Academia for inspection and processing.
Welcome to the Faculty of Academia at the Great and Distinguished University of the Province of British Columbia. We wish you success in future successes that pertain to your successful studies.
Tuum est,
Lady Claudia Buffone
Officer of Admission
High and Mighty Office of Academia
The Great and Distinguished University of the Province of British Columbia
nontransmicrointerautoextracircumscribulation (45 letters)
n. – the act of circumscribing something not beyond the level of the very small, between parts of something singular that are external to it.