{"id":361,"date":"2016-09-27T23:21:51","date_gmt":"2016-09-28T06:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/?p=361"},"modified":"2016-09-28T12:41:59","modified_gmt":"2016-09-28T19:41:59","slug":"congrats-bitch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/2016\/09\/27\/congrats-bitch\/","title":{"rendered":"CONGRATS!!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yo Geoff AKA 27045058<\/p>\n<p>WELL DONE MOTHAFUCKA!\u00a0 You got in! But only if you pass that one course your dumbass forgot to take. Your so close to being chosen to pay us a lot of money to get a piece of paper that maybe gets you a job that doesn\u2019t even pay you that much<\/p>\n<p>Just incase you forgot what course you promised us you would take: ENG 316.<\/p>\n<p>Finish it by the end of this summer or better luck next year.<\/p>\n<p>Your codename is 27045058 and will be needed for registration.\u00a0 When you call us, use this code name because we don\u2019t care about your real one at this place. Take this offer or go through all this shit again next year.<\/p>\n<p>Just incase you forgot your name:\u00a0 Geoffrey G Bawden<\/p>\n<p>Just incase you forgot your code name that we told you a second ago:\u00a0 27045058<\/p>\n<p>Just incase you don\u2019t know what year it is:\u00a0 2016-2017<\/p>\n<p>Just incase you forgot what you signed up for:\u00a01 year express train to a low income but rewarding teaching career<\/p>\n<p>What you think your good at:\u00a0 English<\/p>\n<p>YES OR NO?<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t care one way or the other but let us know if your coming or not so we can take money off someone else<\/p>\n<p>REGISTRATION<\/p>\n<p>You will get some instructions that will tell you when and where to pay us @ http:\/\/www.teach.educ.ubc.ca<\/p>\n<p>Before we let you register you will have pay us and you aint getting that shit back if you change your mind.\u00a0***Pay us within 2 weeks or don\u2019t bother*** Give us money @\u00a0http:\/\/students.ubc.ca (Don\u2019t even try sending us a check)<\/p>\n<p>Register by your registration date or risk being stuck with a low rated rateyourprofessor.com professor. Were giving you 2 weeks to register or you might not get in but you probably will cause we want your money<\/p>\n<p>(IMPORTANT SHIT) Registration date:\u00a0 May 13, 2016<\/p>\n<p>Because you got nothing better to do and \u00a0because we can, you will have to register not once but twice: once in Winter 16 and once in the Summer 17<\/p>\n<p>YOU A CRIMINAL?<\/p>\n<p>All students going to teach the youth of today must get the POPO to check your bitch ass out. Even if your coming back for Round 2 we still need to know if you\u2019re a fuck up and your paying this shit this time cause we aint going to pay for you twice. Weve tossed in some instructions incase you\u2019re a total dumbass. Even if you\u2019ve been let off the hook because of your rich ass parents you better speak the truth @ http:\/\/teach.educ.ubc.ca\/students\/forms\/practicum-placement\/secondary (but don\u2019t bother cause your still a criminal and you def arnt getting into this fine ass school)<\/p>\n<p>EXTRA SHIT<\/p>\n<p>You want to teach in your hood then hit up this link: http:\/\/teach.educ.ubc.ca\/students\/forms\/practicum-placement\/secondary\/<\/p>\n<p>To waste more of your time do this bullshit survey @ https:\/\/survey.edudata.ca\/es\/bed-admissions-survey-2016\/ for an impossible chance of winning $100 bucks towards paying for one book<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to UBC!!<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; CB (FOR LIFE)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yo Geoff AKA 27045058 WELL DONE MOTHAFUCKA!\u00a0 You got in! But only if you pass that one course your dumbass forgot to take. Your so close to being chosen to pay us a lot of money to get a piece &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/2016\/09\/27\/congrats-bitch\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44250,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44250"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=361"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":366,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions\/366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.ubc.ca\/teachingwriting\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}