Currently I am employed at the UBC Body Woks Fitness centre. Part of my job description is to act as a “fitness centre supervisor” where I make sure that clients are exercising safely, and keep the area organized and clean. One morning, I was carrying on my usual duties, socializing with the clients, proving advice, putting equipment in the place. I notice in the far corner of the facility, two members talking and it seems to be a tense conversation. I did not want to interfere unless it was disrupting other members. Eventually, one of the 2 members approached me and said with an angry face ” this woman over there hit me with her hula hoop, I am an 82 years old woman, I have osteoporosis in my spine, and now my back is in pain”. At this point I panicked, I have had this position for close to 3 years, I have never encountered a conflict between the members, so I had no Idea what to do. After a couple of seconds of pausing, I realized I have to say something to the woman complaining in front me. I assured her that I will take care of it, and I got her seated and made sure that she is not in any serious pain. I walked over to the other woman. She approached me with a smile and said “any trouble Mina?” I replied saying ” well, that other member is complaining that you might have hit her with the hula hoop”. She replied saying ” I have been using the hula hoop continuously for 5 minutes before that woman came. She asked me to move, even though the rest of the facility is empty. I could not move because it would disrupt my pattern (using the hula hoop), and there was no necessity for me to move”. I started thinking, it seemed to me that all she said was fair, the area was quite empty, and more importantly, she was there first, that’s just basic gym etiquette. So I asked ” did your hula hoop hit her?”, She said “yes, but only because she moved in into my personal space when I did not move, so my hula hoop hit her”. I waited a bit to process what the 2 members said, and I walked back to the first member and asked “were you there first, or was she there first?”, she replied ” she was there first, but I had to use the agility ladder, which is beside her”. I looked back at the empty area and said “well, there are 2 other ladders that are not being used”. She did not like what I said and answered ” well regardless, she should have moved, I am an 82 years old woman”. I did not want to engage any further, it was almost clear to me what happened so I wanted to resolve the solution. I said “anyway, the area is clear now, you can use the agility ladder”. She replied by saying “NO! I will not move from here until she comes and apologizes”. I paused and smiled, then I said “well, its a small issue, it would be easier if we just forget the whole thing”. Of course what I said was not satisfactory to her, and she repeated what she said before. So I replied saying ” I can not take sides in a situation like this, I was not there so it is not my place to call who was wrong and who was right”. She paused a bit, and got up, and said ” I need to talk to the manager, this place needs better staff”. To be honest, I was offended when she said that, but I knew I must not take it personally, it would make things worse. So I gave her my manager’s card and quietly went back to my desk. As the other member was walking out, she said ” I am sorry Mina, I did not mean to put you in any trouble.” I nodded with a smile and said “no problem”.

Later My manager contacted me with the details and how the situation evolved. Apparently  she was not satisfied with the manager either, so she escalated the issue to the director of the school of Kinesiology, and further to the the dean of the faculty of Education.

After a couple of weeks when the situation was settled, I started reflecting on  the whole situation. I wondered what would have happened if I took sides. What would have happened If I took the elderly lady’s side to calm her down, or took the hula hoop lady’s side, because she sounded more right. The whole issue may have been my liability.

Lesson learned: stay neutral in a conflict that’s not yours.