Sadness, Compassion, Anger

A thought-provoking article:

What if I told you that the way to change the world was not to be bold, resolute, brilliant, or even compassionate? What if I told you that the way to change the world was to be sad?

It sounds so improbable. When we think of those who have taught us the most about meaningful change, we think of people who are very, very brave, say, Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, the Dalai Lama. Unwavering. Deep. Devoted to others and willing to die for what they believe, quite literally.

How do you get to be such a person?

Well, I have no idea, but I would put money on the idea that the ground, path, and fruition of their lives is sadness.

When you look out at this world, what you see will make you very, very sad. This is good. You are seeing clearly. Genuine sadness gives rise, spontaneously, naturally, completely, to the wish—no, the longing—to be of benefit to others. When your wish to help is rooted in love (i.e. sadness), it is effective. There is no question.

But because it is so uncomfortable, we immediately want to turn sadness into what we imagine will hurt less: anger, hopelessness, helplessness. When the wish to help is rooted in anger, it will only create more confusion. And of course, when we feel hopeless or helpless, we take refuge in non-action, which also creates confusion.

Meditation teaches you to relax with the discomfort of sadness and stay with it, not turn it into something else. At this point, you can lay claim to your brand of helpful activity (whether it takes the form of activism, leadership, charitable work, making art, prayer, and/or simple, basic kindness to all).

Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you don’t. It will not feel “good,” it will feel alive and this aliveness is the path to bliss.* So the key, and this is a big one, is to learn to stabilize your heart in the open state. The practice of meditation is this stabilization. It is so much more than a self-improvement technique, as I’ve said 100 zillion times. It is a path to peace. It is a path to love, not the sappy-silly kind, but the real deal.

You have a soft spot. Contrary to popular belief, it is not where you are weak, it is the gateway to indestructible power…

Please read the rest at: http://www.mindful.org/in-love-and-relationships/working-with-emotions/the-importance-of-sadness

I’ve written before how shocked I was the first time I arrived in a, for the lack of a better word, developing country. A career crisis. Or maybe even a life-goal crisis, if you would allow me to exaggerate a bit. Shock. Then came the sadness. Then guilt. And helplessness.

Just like the article said.

Now I know that I cannot try to change that sadness, for it is truly what I feel. Perhaps should feel.

“Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you don’t.”

There is no need for prolonged despair, for it never changes anything. But there is a need for compassion, and if you ask me, anger. Not the kind of anger that lashes out, but the kind of anger where you embrace it and control it so it burns brightly, just enough, to fuel you, to fuel your work.

There is destructive and non-useful anger. Then there is useful anger. Where you’re driven but see clearly. Where you don’t need to rationalize intuition but speak convincingly.

I don’t look forward to the day when I become numb, and ‘realistic.’ Thankfully, there are plenty of those who were born before me (先生 – literally: born before (me), common usage: teacher; in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean), who never lost that fire.