Norms and spaces

It constantly surprises me how much social norms can change within different spaces.

Every morning, I cross my fingers that I can jump on a dala dala with a seat, but almost full of people. Depending on where and how I catch the dala dala, it might take me anywhere from 20 min to 45 min to get to work. As with the red minibuses in Hong Kong, most dalas only leave the station with enough people on board.

Every second day or so, though, a dala dala doesn’t come for a while and the crowd builds up. People push and shove to get in and “as packed as sardines” is a severe understatement. A tangled plate of compressed spaghetti would be a bit more accurate. Or even better, vacuum tank (no air to breathe…).

During these cramming sessions, women and men apparently do not take notice if they reach across your face to grab the handrail, step on your flip flop protected toes with their leather shoes, nor squeezed you into a strange shape with their shapely bum. The normal gender norms of men and women separate and remaining a respectful distance are completely disabled the moment you walk into the alternative universe called a dala dala.

I suppose it’s not that different from wearing a bikini on a beach compared to a bikini in Kariakoo. Yet, it still amazes me how much the concept of personal space and modesty gets completely thrown out of the dala dala window by the simple fact of piling into an enclosed moving space. And the best part is that I have yet to hear of any stories (or personal experience) about females being “felt up” in dalas, unlike in crowded trains back home. While it’s probably twice as crowded in a sardine dala than in the Hong Kong metro (or the Japanese metro), the sexual predators behave much better! So, for those rape apologists, it’s possible – men are not born to sexually molest and rape any woman they have a chance to.

Nothing makes me angry and annoyed more than people assuming that men will always be “men.”