Month: May 2014

I woke up mouth dry and heart pounding from a nightmare last night. It felt like a dream of a horrible prophecy directed at my dear ones.

My immediate action was to reach for my phone to see if Mom was online. She wasn’t so I messaged her. She replied shortly after and I called her immediately. She reassured me that nothing was wrong.

Then, still shaky and unable to fall asleep, I used my phone to keep myself occupied because the moment I closed my eyes, those images haunted my vision.

After an hour of flipping and turning, I reluctantly turned on my computer and did some work. then proceeded to catch up with friends who I talk to infrequently because of time zone differences.

A night of nightmare induced insomnia reminded me how much technology has enabled me to live abroad.

I had a long and deep conversation with a good friend about domestic violence.

Women, no matter how educated, strong, financially independent, still seem to, for one reason or another, succumb to verbal and physical violence from their male partners. We both had plenty of examples from friends we knew and personal experience. The stories were truly heart breaking.

I don’t know what it is. But it has to stop.

It’s one thing to be financially dependent, illiterate, and have to stay in an abusive situation to save your life (whether because you need food and shelter, or for fear of him killing you in revenge). But being completely able but unwilling to leave an abuser is such a hard concept to understand. Yet, so many of us stay. Too many.

Growing up, domestic violence was quite an abstract concept. At times when I came in contact with it, I didn’t know how to react. And often brushed it aside. Stuffed it to the back of my brain. Now, the more I listen, the more I realise how close and how personal it can get. It makes me wonder about all those past experiences I’ve ignored. Were those pleas for help?

I wonder when we’ll be able to stand up for ourselves and say “I deserve respect, and nothing less.”