Sadness, anxiety, and depression…guess what? These feelings may actually help you.
Many of us try to avoid these negative feelings and do anything we can to get rid of them– but what if we changed the way we viewed these feelings? What if we saw these feelings as examples of our courage and our resourcefulness in getting through the difficult times? What if we saw…
depression as a chance to slow down
sadness as an opportunity to find out what really matters
anger as a source of energy
anxiety as a sign that we need to check in with ourselves
and, shutting down as a way to keep ourselves safe.
What if we saw these feelings that we most despise as our body’s best and most creative way of managing a difficult situation or a negative experience in our past? Would that change the way we think and feel about our experiences of sadness, anxiety, and depression?
No one wants to feel sad, anxious, or depressed, but when we can observe and even honour the feelings as our body doing its best to manage something difficult, or our body’s way of saying “Hey, listen to me! Something’s going on and I need you to make a change,” our relationship with these feelings also begin to change. We begin to welcome the information we are provided and can use it as a way to stay on track with our values, goals and important relationships. We no longer see sadness, anxiety, and depression as terrible symptoms, but instead as a source of information that can guide us toward a more fulfilling life.
So, how do we welcome these intolerable feelings? It starts with a breath. Take a big one now. Let out a big sigh and just notice what feelings are there. Don’t push the feelings away, but instead welcome them with gentle curiosity…”I wonder what that is? Hmm, I wonder what that feeling needs.” It’s important not to judge what comes up here, just notice it, and take another breath.
When we don’t push our feelings away but instead gently welcome their messages, we create space between the feelings and our reactions. When we sit with the feelings and just observe them, our behaviours such as avoiding, lashing out or engaging in unhealthy ways of coping become less reactive and allow us to shift our behaviours from automatic reactions to conscious choices. The depression, sadness and anxiety become new sources of information about what we need in our lives, and the changes we need to make.
So the next time you start to push away the unwanted feelings, take a moment, and a breath, and see what you can discover.