The apple guy always seems to have some inspirational and motivational videos:

Most people never ask, and that’s what separates the people that do things and the people that dream. ~ Steve Jobs

Your mind is socially conditioned to tell you when you are not following instructions, and has been socially conditioned to tell you what is and what is not acceptable in society.

Wikipedia defines Social conditioning as the: sociological process of training individuals in a society to respond in a manner generally approved by the society in general and peer groups within society.

This was an inspirational concept to me. That a lot of what we are programmed to think just happened because we were conforming to society’s norms. That’s why we all want to “fit in”. Yet, many of the inspirational leaders, did things that were the complete opposite of how we conventionally think and act.

That why sometimes it takes going against social conditioning to get what you want.

Here’s something motivational for you. I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten things refunded that say no refund, or getting into university courses that said they were already full or getting bargains on merchandise purchased. All I did was simply ask for what I wanted where normally I person wouldn’t. Now I know what your thinking, “What if you are Asian!? You got bargaining built into you!” Like what this guy talks about:

But seriously, the same logic can be applied to anything.

I have some friends who are entrepreneurs, some of them have become quite successful with their respective businesses. They tell me that one of the most important factors to their success was not be afraid to ask for what they wanted. When you have a start-up business, you do everything to keep your business afloat. You work 10-18 hour days, have very limited financial resources, live in your parent’s basement, and do anything and everything necessary to get in touch with your potential customers. It’s do or die.

They are not afraid to ask for what they want, and don’t mind the disappointment a no answer provides. That’s what sets them from the rest of the pack. Don’t know a big client’s contact? Cold call their office, and ask for their voicemail. Didn’t hear back after a few days? Call again. Most people at this point would give up right? Thinking “Oh they must not be interested“, but until you hear that “no” from the client’s mouth, assume its on. This single tip has lead these entrepreneurs to client contacts they would never dream of getting in touch with.

For the rest of us, we can learn a lot from their philosophy. People think they have their dignity and pride on the line when they ask for something and get turned down, so they try everything to ensure a yes response, and when they can’t self-rationalize a yes response, they don’t even try. In essence taking themselves out of the game before they start.

Is there someone in the city you really want to contact? Perhaps a person you look up to that you want to be your mentor? Have you tried cold calling their office? Maybe that’s where you should start.

Take up space in the world, especially for what you believe in. Instead of worrying about what people think of you.