valerie

1988 Grade Seven Richmond, BC NOTE: Do you like me? [[Yes]] or [[NO!]]

Oh my gosh, I'm so happy. Now you are my best friend. Can you tell my MASH fortune? Choice One: [[Sure!]] Choice Two: [[My mom says you are too boy crazy and I'm not allowed]]

Are you sure you won't reconsider? It is 1988 and everyone should be kind to one another in our idyllic little elementary school. And I'm the coolest grade seven girl in class. I've got awesomely huge bangs and my flourescent slouch socks match my equally obnoxious scrunchie. [[Yes]]

Ok, I've already created my board. Look who I put for my choices. I can already picture myself as Mrs. Michael Jordan living in a mansion and driving a Ferrari. Let's do the decider: [[9]] [[4]]

I won't tell her! And I'm not boy crazy. Did you hear Shane and I are going to the movies on Friday? I am taking Laurie and he's bringing one of the guys from his hockey team. But I think we are just friends. He is, like, sooooooo cute! So can you tell my fortune? [[Sure!]]

Gag me with a spoon! I have to marry a guy named John Cena. Who the heck is that? Is it: [[A stinky kid from grade six]] OR [[My best friend's nerdy paperboy]]

You are down to the final two choices in the car category. Which one are you hoping to get? [[station wagon]] OR [[mini van]]

You mean the kid with the pants that are too short and the rat tail? I bet he will grown up to be a tall, skinny weakling. And what kind of a name is John Cena anyway. So most of your fortune is complete. You will marry John Cena, have a station wagon and be a pro snow boarder. I guess a nice big panel wagon will be good for holding all your gear. And why were you so happy to not get the job as a snake charmer: [[I am deathly afraid of snakes]] OR [[Because snow boarding is the coolest new sport]]

You mean the kid with that weird basket on the front of his bike? I bet he has lots of money though from his paper route. Maybe he'd buy you a Slurpee. But I heard he has a pet boa constrictor. Would you marry someone with a pet snake? [[I am deathly afraid of snakes]] OR I'd rather marry a [[random hobo]]

I am so scared of snakes. They are so gross and scary. Last week, Morgan found one in the ditch at recess and put it in an ice cream pail to scare all the girls. He is such a dweeb. I would rather drive a [[mini van]] than touch a snake.

What is a snow board? Is it like having one ski like a skateboard? Do you even, like, get poles? I don't even like being cold. That's why I want to marry [[Michael Jordan]] and be, like, super rich so I can live in Hawaii.

Moral of the hypertext story: As a grade 7 student, life seemed simple and linear like a cute little game of MASH with your pre-teen friends. You will marry a John Cena, work as a pro snowboarder, live in a house and drive a Ferrari. But as a 43 year old mother of two kids: home owner, teacher, dishwasher, laundry lady, friend, book reader, volunteer, landscaper, house cleaner, grocery shopper, bike rider, SUV owning, music listening, walking, and sometimes sarcastic lady with no mouth filter....I see life as hypertext. A series of connections, networks which are flexible, dynamic and agentic.

Reliable as the are, you are better off with a [[mini van]]

Like wow, mini vans are the coolest new automobiles of the late 1980's. Tanya's parents just got a new blue Caravan and it is so nice. I can totally picture myself driving in the mini van with my 5 kids and my husband. Who will that be: [[Michael Jordan]] OR [[random hobo]]

Michael Jordan is so cute. Did you see the game the other night? He scored 40 points. I still have the video recording of his slam dunk from the Slam Dunk Contest from last year. So, what does my MASH end up with? I really hope I get to drive a Ferrari and marry MJ instead of a [[random hobo]]