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Rewriting post: A heroic story of Democracy lost and found

In December in Wukan, China, corrupted officials were driven out of town. It is a heart-warming and hopeful story of how democracy was lost and found again, through a revolution by members of this small fishing village. In replacement of the old corrupted officials, a““Civilized election, fair competition” and one that is base on“Obeying the law” was held yesterday.

As New York Times reported,

“More than 6,000 of the town’s 8,000 eligible voters trooped to a makeshift election center at the village school and chose a new village council to replace the old one, disbanded amid allegations of land fraud. They filled out pink ballots in rows of plywood booths that ensured their choices would remain secret, then dropped them in big steel boxes sealed with tamper-proof stickers. Officials tallied the votes in the schoolyard as residents looked on. Such is the sight of democracy in the workings. It is possible that this very simple way of voting may do the democratic process justice.

It is encouraging to see such a united effort to restore democracy, the rule of law, and fair elections. Sure enough, as the title of the New York Times article suggests, this will probably NOT change how China as a nation conduct it’s affairs. However, the acknowledgement of this democratic reward is the first step to advance into a more democratic nation. In spreading the word, and discussing about the efforts that was put into this revolution, we are all continuing the discourse of freeing oneself from tyranny and dictatorship.

The villagers tallying up the votes

What I changed about this post:
1. I added bold characters, this helps readers grasp the main points quickly, and they can also skim the posts.
2. I added more analysis after quotations
3. I refined the ending to have a more hopeful and positive outlook on the situation, with more elaboration
Any other things I can improve on?

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