By Richard Hou, Residence Advisor

Here are some tips for you to stay healthy and alive, for those weeks when you’ve accidentally drank away all your money.

1. Drink tap water – It’s sourced from a municipal water supply, so it’s clean. Also saves you a whopping $1.75 per bottle. Drink it. Like it.
2. Eggs – High in protein, full of vitamins, dirt cheap. Save even more money by buying a chicken!
3. Buy meat in bulk – Divide that giant chunk of dead animal into smaller chunks, then freeze. Defrost as much as you want to eat. Ezpz.
4. CHEAP CARBS – Potatoes, rice, pasta, beans, these are all your friends. Has plenty of complex carbohydrates to keep you going all day, and you won’t feel hungry in an hour and a half because they’re filling.
5. No snacks – Snacks are unhealthy, expensive, and make you feel like crap afterwards. The price of a bag of chips and a coke would be enough to feed you for a day if you spent the money well.
6. Nothing premade – Frozen pizzas, cooked chicken, deli counter, salad bar… no, no, no, and no! For the price you pay for premade frozen food at a grocery store, you might as well go out to a restaurant and actually have a nice meal.
7. Convenience stores are NOT your friend – There is a hefty mark-up for the fact that it’s close to you. Go out and buy your food, if you walk you’ll even burn off a few of those pounds you gained from boozing.

So here we are, follow my tips, and I guarantee you that you’ll save at least 25 dollars on food. Per week.  Go forth citizens of Gage. Make me proud.

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