The purpose of this piece was to offer valuable feedback to my colleague on her formal report draft. I tried to provide Claire with some positive notes on what she had done really well, which happened to be a lot, as well as notes on what she needed to go over or maybe add to the document. I feel as though I was able to achieve this, providing Claire with some helpful insight to improve upon her already stellar looking report.
By: William Jackson, student ENGL 301
To: Claire Abramski, student ENGL 301
Date: July 19, 2021
Subject: Formal Report Proposal for Determining Methods for Increasing Household Food Waste Composting in Kelowna, British Columbia
Dear Claire,
Thank you for letting me review your Formal Report Draft on Determining Methods for Increasing Household Food Waste Composting in Kelowna, British Columbia. You have done a terrific job laying out the information in your report, and have ton a great job in collecting and organizing your data. The Report already looks very solid, but the following are some recommendations to potentially improve your final draft.
First Impressions: Overall, my first impressions of the report is that it is very impressive already. There’s an abundant amount of data, figures and references, and they are all used well. All the information is laid out clearly and concisely, making it relatively easy for the reader to go from topic to topic within the report.
Introduction: The introduction does a great job outlining the problem at hand, which in this case is waste management in Kelowna. The problem is clearly stated showing why this research needs to be done early in the introduction, then the purpose of the report is clearly stated later on, purposing possible solutions to the problem at hand.
Data Section: The data results are visually appealing as they are presented in numerous graphs in the report. The use of three different types of graphs was really appealing as a reader, as it felt like there was a wide array of information from different perspectives. The initial graph illustrating the environmental effects provided helpful information to introduce the problem with the reader.
I would suggest in making the commentary of the graphs to be a little more concise. Perhaps you could shorten the explanation of the results after the graphs, and add that to your “interpretation and results” section. Limitations were clearly illustrated towards the end of the data section, providing readers with the necessary information.
Conclusion: The conclusion covers the findings in the data and provides very thought out recommendations on next steps to further fix the issues at hand. The Interpretation of Findings section in the conclusion covers all necessary information.
Organization: The organization of this report is excellent, as it illustrates a structed and professional report. The Table of Contents is clear and concise, and offers page numbers for all the figures and tables. The title page is clear and provides all relevant information.
Perhaps adding page numbers to the bottom of your report can further the organization of the report. Furthermore, only some of your subheadings are written in bold; I suggest making them all the same.
Style: The tone of the report seems to be very positive, and provides a ‘You Attitude’ style that is outlined in the Technical Communications textbook.
Design: Going hand in hand with the organization of the report, the design and overall layout of the report is clean and concise. Looks very professional and job well done here.
Grammar and Technical Errors: Missing indentation for start of a paragraph in ” interpretation and analysis” section.
In the “limitations” section at the end of the Data Section, the two paragraphs can be made into one.
I would suggest making the font smaller for your paragraphs detailing the graphs.
Maybe add some space between your sub headers and the beginning of your paragraphs.
In your conclusion your paragraphs have added space between them that is not found in the rest of the report. Be consistent with whether you want this space or not.
Overall, very impressive Formal Report Draft. I was pleasantly surprised by the overall quality and the amount of data and information added in this draft. This is an excellent start to your final submission of your formal report. If you have any questions regarding my comments, please feel free to reach out to me!
William Jackson
Link to Final Report Draft being reviewed:
https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2021sa/files/2021/07/Determining-Methods-for-Increasing-Food-Waste-Composting-in-Kelowna.docx