Author Archives: Mehkai Manzano

Am I A Reader Now?

Hi Romance Studiers,

This is the last Ellie post of all time! Throughout this semester, I have been reflecting on an internal issue of mine that is somewhat relevant to my feelings towards the course. One of my favourite non-curricular activities is writing, whether that be songs or poems, I just love to write. Despite this, the last project I released was in May of 2022, that was two years ago. The last verse I wrote was over six months ago. All of this has made me wonder, at what point can I no longer call myself a writer? If that project was my last, in five years am I still an artist? How can I still call it a hobby of mine if I haven’t participated in such a long time, and will there be a point when the disconnect between my life and that world becomes too wide to say I am a member? All this to say that, the lines drawn to claim status of an activity enjoyer is blurred.

Why this question intrigued me in regards to this course is because I do not consider myself a reader. Years prior, I would maybe knock out a book once every year or two, but I was never a consistent reader. I hate to admit it but I enjoy reading for the aesthetic and to increase my lexicon. I was never one to pursue new books but would read what my close friends or teachers would greatly recommend to me because I valued their opinions. That being said, I have just read nine books over the span of four months. I have read more books front to back in this semester than I did during my five years in highschool. Which makes me wonder, am I allowed to call myself a reader? While I did not enjoy reading all the books, I definitely did read them. Is a person allowed to call themselves a reader if they only read in the context of a class? It would be a lie if I said I indulged in the activity post the academic requirement too, but after testing my ability to read I have learned and improved on those skills. Some things I learned about my reading abilities because of this course is that I read the best when there is dialogue on the page. Maybe it is because the formatting of the dialogue makes it feel like I am reading less words and going through pages more quickly, or it could be that it is easier for me to visualize the scenes when there are people speaking to each other. I also found that it does not take that long to read a couple hundred page books when you can split it up into chunks throughout the week. When I am locked in, 30-50 page reading goals are not that daunting, but 100 page reading sessions still have hands.

All this to say, I think in order to call myself a reader, I need to read some texts outside of class and try to read for fun. This class has reduced my fear of sitting and reading but it is time to take it a step further and read books that I think I will enjoy off the get go. My question for the class is, do you have any book recommendations for me? From my previous reading experience, I love me some cute little love stories (I have to be in the mood for smut so let’s keep them cute please) and stories exploring GRSJ type topics. The last two books that I really enjoyed was ‘On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous’ by Ocean Vuong and ‘Patron Saints of Nothing’ by Randy Ribay. My favourite book I read from this course was (most likely due to recency bias) was ‘Money to Burn’ by Ricardo Piglia. Excited to see some of your suggestions in the comments and I loved reading everyone’s blogs throughout the semester 🙂

Luiselli’s “Faces in the Crowd”: It’s The Last Book Of The Semester And I’m Sad I Don’t Get It

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Hi Romance Studiers,

After finishing Valeria Luiselli’s ‘Faces in the Crowd’ and taking a few days to sit with it, I can officially say I got ankle broken. I don’t get it and I wanted to so bad! After watching professor Beasley’s lecture, it did comfort me with one fact, that is that Luiselli intentionally made it this way. While I kinda picked up on the multiple stories intertwined throughout the novel, I struggled at identifying when exactly the story changed. What I didn’t pick up on that was noted in the lecture was the that the Philadelphia side plot was actually another story! Even when stated so bluntly, “the novel, the other one, is called Philadelphia”, where I got ankle broken was how it immediately jumps to the husband side plot where he leaves to Philadelphia (Luiselli, 49). The reason why my inability to understand and analyze this novel makes me so sad is because I found in isolated sections, I really enjoyed this reading. Like many of the books I have read throughout this romance studies course, there were funny bangers and proses throughout.

Unlike the other books though, I did not find many bars but more the scenes depicted throughout the story was very funny. My notes were chalk full of comments on what I found so silly within the story, I think in order to cope with the story’s lack of linear storytelling, it made up in silly situations. Some stand out sections from the novel that I quite enjoyed was when, from what I understand, Maria the main character was being bullied by children for carrying the dead tree. As she was being berated by comments from children, she commented, “they laughed, shamelessly made fun of me: the natural cruelty of children becomes more intense when they are fat” (Luiselli, 25-26). It is such an out of pocket statement and yet so funny, especially when you imagine this grown woman lying to children about taking her dead tree to the tree doctor and the children respond by calling her out on her lies. The other section that really stood out to me in my notes was when she went to Pajarote’s place, who I do not even entirely know if he is real or not, and they have an interesting exchange about feet that overall tripped me up but was so random. The dialogue goes, “These gimcrack paintings are mine. / Who do all the feet belong to? / My ex-wives. / Sorry. / No pro . . . Do you have a card? (That’s what he said: “pro.”) / No. / The young lady has no card! (He was one of those people who speak with exclamation marks.) / Here’s mine . . . If you’ll let me . . . I’ll paint you something . . . (He was one of those people who speak with dot-dot-dots.) / Thanks. / What’s your name? he asked. / Owen. / Isn’t that a man’s name? / Could be. / I’d like to see your feet . . . / My what?” (Luiselli, 59). This whole exchange just had me so confused and yet, a sense of hilarity. The fact that Pajarote does not ask for her name up until this point, when she says Owen and he becomes perplexed, immediately true comboed into “I’d like to see your feet…” is pure comedy (Luiselli, 59).

By the end of the book, I wrote in my notes “I’m convinced she has multiple personality disorder” mainly because I could not understand the novel was switching novels. My question for the class is, what was your ankle breaking moment of this book that had you absolutely laying on the floor looking for a hand from your teammate to help you up? Or did you have a very different experience from my own and was able to gasp the narrative of this story? Let me know in the comments and I look forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts on our last book 🙂

Piglia’s “Money to Burn”: Humanizing The Criminalized

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Hi Romance Studiers,

After taking a day to think about the book and watch the lecture, I would say that I overall enjoyed Ricardo Piglia’s “Money to Burn”. I found the way Piglia humanizes these criminals and the surrounding characters very compelling. The main themes that I felt the story kept touching on was masculinity, specifically how those socialized in poverty settings come to view their own masculinity and what they do to perform gender in a hypermasculine way. I also found the book to be very pro sex work, despite its scenes of the criminals objectifying women, which can be seen more as an enactment of overcompensated masculinity than direct misogyny. The book was one of the few books I read throughout this semester that had me engaged mostly the whole way, and while I think my environmental settings (at work & in-between appointments) when reading the book lead me to struggle with remembering all the details, I felt forced to put down the book instead of believing relieved from having to read.

The book mentions the boys journey of understanding their masculinity a plethora of times, specifically with Brignone (the Kid) and Dorda (the Blond Gaucho). My favourite example of this story exploring masculinity with Brignone was the scene when he was spending time with the prostitute for the first time. During this conversation, you got to see a more sensitive side to Brignone that was intriguing, he opened up to the girl and felt as if this emotional intimacy resembled a sibling relationship more than a romantic one. When he brings this up to her, she acts in shock and question him about it, leaving the narrator to relay to the reader, “the Kid was very touchy on the question of his masculinity. The kid was utterly fed up of going with bum boys. Every so often he got sick of it. At present he didn’t want a single one of those boys circle the square to look at him, he’d known them under other circumstances,” (Piglia 83). How I interpreted this was that Brignone only performed in such a way to create this front for himself. A way to make up for his poor upbringing and lack of emotional support (besides his connection with Dorda which turned out to be fictitious from the real life events), he grew up in a position that ascribes one as unmasculine. As hegemonic masculinity embodies ideals of power, capital, and autonomy, Brignone enacts his autonomy (masculinity) through thievery and a lack of care for the world.

What I find so interesting about this scene was how the book depicts sex workers and humanizes them. At least in Western culture, sex work has a powerful stigma, and this stigma leads society to view these workers as those who do not deserve the respect and workers rights. Throughout Piglia’s story, he continuously emphasized how sex workers are people with emotions and capacity to care. As can be seen when we briefly explore Dorda’s upbringing and especially with Brignone’s interaction with the prostitute. After Brignone goes off about his internal conflict with being masculine and his relationship with doing gender in front of other men, the narrator states “but the Kid, in contrast (and he himself said as much), felt sane and safe with this girl, as if there were no possible danger in being around her, he only had to let himself be carried along by her for a while” (Pilgia 84-85). I found this so interesting because often in media, sex workers are viewed similar to succubus in the sense that it is a soulless job. But Piglia actively makes sex workers fleshed out individuals that care for the people they provide their services for. Later on in the story, this women becomes an important character for Brignone, someone who believes he can trust and rely on. Making it even more soul-crushing when she betrays him and has him trapped in her home until his final moments.

I really enjoyed my time reading “Money to Burn”, even if the actual burning of the money is more mythos then reality. My question for the class is, what are your thoughts on how women in the story are depicted? Let me know in the comments below and I’m excited to hear more during class 🙂

Duras’ “The Lover”: Are All Books Meant To Be Written?

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Hi Romance Studiers,

Going into reading “The Lover” by Marguerite Duras, I was warned by my girlfriend who had read it during her IB English class in high school. My takeaway a third into the book was “I cannot believe they made highschoolers read and analyze this text” and it did not get better. Even after Professor Beasley’s words of cautions during last week’s Wednesday lecture, I was still not fully prepared to spend three hours reading about a thirteen year old girl’s relationship with a man twelve years older than her, and the societal pressures she felt during and after the relationship. I honestly cannot give a genuine analysis of this story as all my notes on the book were just brief plot summaries of the story followed up by multiple exclamations and question marks.

I do think there is interesting discussion to be had in terms of how the story portrays societal gender expectations on the main character. The latter part of the story explores how she had to navigate her life in school after breaking up with her older boyfriend, and the way she was ridiculed and isolated for partaking in such relationship. What stood out to me during that section was when the mother bluntly said to her daughter, along the lines of “you know you can no longer marry in Cholon right?” I think it really emphasizes how local drama impacts the lives of women in the 1920s, not just as gossip but lingering beliefs about one’s character that persists with no end in sight. It makes me wonder if this has gotten better or worse in our current day, as with society’s interconnectedness due to social media, arguably myths and gossips spread farther than its localised area of origin. It has become so much harder to run away and create a new life for one’s self and if this book were to take place in today’s day and age, would the main character’s future life look the same as it did in the book? The story also acts as a time capsule for race depiction in the 1920s, as the older boyfriend was Chinese. There was much commentary on how the white family on the girl’s side perceived the man, not just as an older guy but also as a rich, Chinese man.

What made me uncomfortable was a multitude of things, but mainly the graphic sex scenes between the girl and the man, as well as her takeaways from the relationship at the end of the book. By the end of my reading, I truly asked myself “do all books deserve to be written?”. While I think novels as a medium allow for creative fictional storytelling and create interesting discussion, I do not know if Duras’ “The Lover” creates any productive discourse that I would enjoy partaking in. Especially with the sex scenes, I do not know what is gained by giving such explicit context for what happens in that bedroom. If anything it just perpetuated with stereotype of the Chinese effeminacy which was popularized to disempower Asian masculinity in the West. Overall I just disliked this story, I did not enjoy it, I wish I did not read it, and I do not know if I really want to know what drew the author to write such a story.

My question for the class is why do you think this story was made? Because I do not know and am looking for some type of answer. Interested to see what type of discourse will be brought up this Wednesday and see you all there 🙂

Lispector’s “The Hour of the Star”: Rodrigo Just Like Me Fr

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Hi Romance Studiers,

After taking a day to reflect on what I read in Clarice Lispector’s “The Hour of the Star”, all I could think about was how honest and transparent the narrator/author was the whole time. The book itself is quite short, being only 70ish pages but the characters within the story were so captivating, largely in part due to the narrator seeping her own opinions into the depictions of the characters. The story follows the short-lived life of Macabéa and how her naivety is both her sweetest and most detrimental characteristic. My personal favourite example of Macabéa’s personality bleeding through the page was in a dialogue between her and her ex-boyfriend Olímpico when he is criticizing her for asking so many questions. While there can a greater discussion using a feminist lens on how this illustrates the silencing of women, especially underprivileged women who are unwary of their disadvantages, I find Macabéa’s reaction to the interaction so hilarious. As Olímpico states “I’ll tell you something: you can still get women cheap. You didn’t cost me much, just a coffee. I won’t spend another cent on you, okay?”, Macabéa’s only thought and reaction towards this insult towards her character was “I don’t deserve him to buy me anything because I’ve peed in my pants” (Lispector, 46-47).

While dialogue like this was entertaining, my favourite moments were the paragraphs led by the narrator that was detached from the overall plot. A standout of this was on page 61 where Lispector opens the paragraph with “I am absolutely tired of literature; only muteness keeps me company. If I still write it’s because I have nothing better to do in the world while I wait for death”, which in my notes I highlighted and wrote “your average writer’s Twitter posts” (Lispector, 61). She keeps it so honest throughout the story, letting her biases present themselves as what they are, clear biases towards characters. When describing Olímpico near the start of the book as the audience learns more and more about him, Lispector as if mid-conversation with the reader through the page states, “No, I lied, now I see it all: he wasn’t innocent in the least, even though he was a general victim of the world. He had, I just discovered, inside of him the hard seed of evil, he liked taking revenge, this was his great pleasure” (Lispector, 39). In my mind, this story is an outlet for Lispector to bash her self-created opps and there is nothing wrong with that. This story reads as if you are on a FaceTime with the author, creating a very impersonal and intimate reading. As someone who loves to yip-yap with his friends on the phone and unabashedly let his biases loose within his storytelling, reading this story was like having a conversation with myself in that setting.

Apart from the direct biases and talking to the audience elements of Lispector’s writing, I really enjoyed the little things she added into the writing that gave his style its own personality. The big standout examples of this was writing small or big explosion in brackets depending on the impact of inciting incidents during the latter half of the story. I personally felt that this is something that I would want to write in my own stories and was a cute author touch to an already unique story. While this story was very funny despite being a tragedy, it had moments that I really enjoyed for its philosophical and heartfelt prose (please tell me if I used that work wrong). In my notes, I wrote “that’s called *** bars” in response to Lispector’s prose on page 32: “I know nothing. What can you do with the truth that everyone’s a little sad and a little alone” (Lispector, 32). It felt so raw and real in a book full of silliness, and these juxtaposing moments made me really enjoy my reading experience.

My question for the class is, did you find Macabéa’s naivety an aspect of her character that you enjoyed or disliked, and how come? I’m excited to read your thoughts in the comments and hear more about your opinions in class 🙂

Rodoreda’s “The Time of the Doves”: The Invisibilization Of Housework

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Hi Romance Studiers,

While I was initially put off by Mercè Rodoreda’s writing style in his story “The Time of the Doves”, as I continued to read I found myself more engaged and captivated by the characterization of Natalie. The transition from depicting a woman going through the process of domestication through patriarchal forces to how a single mother must cope with the hardships of war was captivating. From a sociological perspective, I felt that this story captured the essence of the public versus private sphere, emphasizing the invisibilization of housework often done by women during this time period.

Seeing how Natalie is constantly pushed around by her first husband Quimet, as he forced his perspective onto her was difficult to read but was also a great portrayal of patriarchal forces within marriages. When reading about their marriage, even at the start, as she notes two months and a week, there were so many signs of an abusive relationship. The way Quimet punished Natalie as he chased her down the hall way and began to hit her was hard to digest, as Natalie recounts, “when I tried to get out he’d slap my head from above. ‘Bad girl!’ he shouted. And no matter where I tried to get out, whack!” (Rodoreda 44). So violent and brutal, yet through the lens of Natalie, so minimalised at the same time. Natalie’s minimalisation of traumatic events was a layer of her character that drew me into her. Several key moments in the story where I expected a greater reaction, it was stated in a sentence and moved on a sentence after. When Natalie described Antoni climbing into Rita’s bed and tried to choke her out, when she found out Quimet died in the war, and even when she learned her father died, it was all brushed over so quickly. Often a sentence to tell the audience she went outside to get air and collect herself, and that was all the emotion that was emoted from Natalie in those moments.

The privatization of the domestic life is heavily studied under sociology’s social conflict theory, as it a part of how women’s work is invisibalized and devalued. The part that I felt captured Natalie’s invisibilized work from the public sphere is when she is near her breaking point with the taking care of the doves, children, and the home. Natalie vocalized this when she depicts her hopelessness as Quimet complains about his leg due to tuberculosis, stating “I couldn’t tell her my children were like wildflowers no one took care of and my apartment, which used to be heaven, had turned into hell, and when I put the kids to bed at night and went ‘Ring, ring’ on their belly buttons to make them laugh I heard doves cooing and my nose was full of the stench of feverish newly hatched doves” (Rodoreda 101). The emotion behind her voice was so captivating and devastating to hear, it really reminded me about the hopelessness often involved in invisiblized housework.

The part that made me truly feel and cry when reading was the section when Natalie left her son Antonio at camp. It was so heartbreaking, and while uncomparable, reminded me of a memory my parents bring up constantly, about the first time they dropped me off at preschool. From what they recounted to me, I wailed and kicked and cried, and as they left me in the classroom and began to walk away, they saw me in their peripheral staring at them through the long window in the door. My question to the class is, what emotions did this story invoke in you, and was there a section that brought those feelings to an extreme?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I’m excited to hear all your thoughts and feelings on the story this week 🙂

Moravia’s “Agostino”: Rich Boy LARPs As Poor Boy To Make Friends

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Hi Romance Studiers,

Throughout my reading of Alberto Moravia’s Agostino, I could not decide whether I enjoyed the text or not. On one hand, I thought it was a cool exploration of how socio-economic class affects the socialization agents that develop a child’s outlook on the world, as well as how the different boys view masculinity and how they strive to achieve hegemonic masculine ideals. On the other hand, the story followed a boy who learned about sex through his new found friends, sexualized his mom, became jealous of her new boyfriend, then tried to get into a brothel at the age of 13, which was a plot point the made me uncomfortable while reading. The overall storyline I found kind of silly, not bad or good but just silly goofy.

The main character Agostino came from a very wealthy family and adored his mom as she was his only care taker. As she started spending more time with her boyfriend, he began searching for something else to fulfill the revengeful emotions he was feeling against his mom. He ended up befriended a gang of boys on a neighbouring beach, and he learned about the lives of those who did not grow up with same privileges as he did. This wealth disparity led to a conversation with them where he almost found joy in gloating about the special services he received as a child born into wealth. Such as telling them about his waiters and the balls that his mother throws in their mansion, encapsulating the mind of his new friends as they make jokes about what they would do if they were invited to such an event. In order to fit in, Agostino began trying to actively pursue the lifestyle that the other boys were living. The scene that I felt exemplified this the most was when he pretended to be a rower, and gave a father and his son a paid boat ride on Saro’s boat. During the sequence he pretended to be someone who grew up with nothing, both guilting the little boy which was just like him for being too selfish and receiving praise from the father for being so hardworking. The way he described his emotions after was so humorous when remembering the wealth disparity between who he really was and who he pretended to be. \ I’m happy Agostino recognized this when he reflected, thinking “he found that he had lost his original identity without acquiring through his loss another” (Moravia, 78). Agostino could no longer go back to the carefree life he was living before due to his knowledge about the lives of less-privileged others, but he also could not simply pretend he was one of them due to him actually having those privileges.

The term LARP stands for Live Action Role Playing, and certain fantasy communities enjoy partaking in the activity as it is basically playing make believe. I like to use this term in context with the book because that was what Agostino was doing. Agostino did not want to be poor, he enjoyed his amenities which were provided to him due to his status. What he wanted was the brotherhood aspect of growing up poor with others without actually facing the hardship. Thus he was rich boy LARPing as a poor boy.

My question for the class is, what were your thoughts on Agostino’s view of his relationship between him and his mom? Initially when drafting the title of this post, I was going to make a joke about Sigmund Freud but I ended up not writing about it in the actual post.

Let me know in the comments what your thoughts were on Agostino and I’m excited to hear all of your wonderful ideas in class 🙂

Bombal’s “The Shrouded Woman”: Full Of Emotion And Fire Bars

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Hi Romance Studiers,

Bombal’s “The Shrouded Woman” explored the life of Ana Maria through a retrospective lens. The novel used Ana Maria as a narrator, recounting her experiences with the different people in her life as they appeared at her funeral, and the significance they played in her story. I found the story to be very emotionally compelling and acted as a time capsule for the late 1930s. It touched on many aspects of the patriarchy from the way men held power within relationships, the expectations placed on women to marry wisely, and the issues with marriage in a time period when divorce was heavily stigmatized. This in combination with very realistic and compelling characters pulled the reader in to learn more about the late life of Ana Maria.

Throughout my reading, there were several moments when I had to take a break and ask myself why I liked or felt so compelled to document a certain prose so much. The section that I could not get enough of was the exploration of Maria Griselda, or more specifically, the impact of Maria Griselda’s unprecedented beauty. Reading about Fred’s undying infatuation for his brother’s wife made me laugh harder than in any section of the book. I find the way Bombal dramatized character’s actions so hilarious, such as when Fred was confronted by his mother about his greater interest with Maria Griselda than his own wife Silvia, Bombal wrote “Fred had suddenly thrown his arms around his mother’s waist, laid his forehead against the fragile hip and closed his eyes” (Bombal, 189). The way I can visualize this grown man throwing himself towards his mom, as if pleading for her to listen to him, felt like this was a play script made for a high school drama club. This language goes past the actions of the character, and pushed even further in the dialogue, as can be seen when Fred expressed “Oh, Mother, every day it’s a new image, every day some new admiration I have to fight against. No, no, I must not stay here another day… because I can’t help admiring her more than I do Silvia, every day more” (Bombal, 189). While the dialogue and actions were dramatic, they were so full of emotion it was difficult to not sympathize with him. I overall found this section very funny, in my notes throughout reading, I wrote “not Fred simping for his brother’s wife????”.

Despite the story having funny moments, it had its fair share of moments that caused me to shed a tear, both over multi-paged chapters and short proses. The first time I was overwhelmed with emotions in this story was in chapter seven, when she remembered an intimate moment between herself and her father. In this memory, she was still a child and discussed the reasons they love her late mother. Ana Maria stated that she loves her mother because of her beauty which her father laughed at, it is the following paragraph which really got to me. Ana Maria believed her father loved her mother for the same reason, as she thought, “he loved her for her fleeting perfume, her treacherous veils and her premature death, as disconcerting as the frivolous mystery of her eyes” (Bombal, 178). The childlike innocence in the way Ana Maria thought and how Bombal described the father at the end of the chapter as “fulfilling that part of sorrow destiny has assigned to him” really got to me and made me greatly enjoy my reading of “The Shrouded Woman” (Bombal, 178).

During this story, I felt like Bombal was consistently dropping ‘bars’ which I like to describe as a few continuous lines that strongly encompass an emotion or an idea. My personal favourite ‘bar’ that I felt encapsulated the dominant patriarchal ideology during the 1930s was when Bombal wrote, “why, oh why must a woman’s nature be such that a man has always to be the pivot of her life?” which is simply put, a bar (Bombal, 226). My question for the class is, what was your favourite bar in the story and how did you interpret it?

I’m excited to hear all your thoughts in class this week and I’m looking forward to reading your favourite bars from the book 🙂

Arlt’s “Mad Toy”: Three Relatable Chapters

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Hi Romance Studiers,

It has been a day since I finished reading Roberto Arlt’s novel “Mad Toy” and my overall experience with it was quite pleasurable. I found Silvio’s personal turmoil in most chapters to be quite relatable and the narrative as a whole engaged me throughout the entire reading. While I have been very privileged to grow up in a space feeling continuously supported by my parents and never forced to face the pressure of financial insecurity, I was drawn into Silvio’s internal conflict with the morally gray actions he took. From the mental gymnastics he did with Enrique and Lucio to justify thievery to the delusional teenage boy belief that a relationship with an aristocratic woman would solve his problems, these were all things that I personally remember feeling and going through in high school.

During high school, I had a shoplifting phase with my friends and reading chapter one “The Band of Thieves”, Arlt’s depiction of teenagers planning their ‘heist’ like they were masters at work was almost too accurate. Especially when Silvio recounted on the old days, stating “I don’t remember what subtleties and twisted reasoning we used to convince ourselves that robbery was a noble and beautiful act” (Arlt 29). This is exactly how I think now when I reflect on my justification of shoplifting, believing I was simply anti-capitalist and these billion dollar companies have already accounted for this through shrinkage evaluations. Even the end of the first chapter when the group of friends chose to leave the life of thieving behind due to the danger they felt from their last event, all except Enrique, was so relatable. It paralleled my group of friend after we got caught three years ago, three of us chose to quit except for one who refused to stop out of spite of the worker who caught her. A reoccurring thought that Silvio has throughout the novel was this idea of dating a beautiful, aristocratic woman who would save him from poverty, solving all his internal and tangible issues. Especially in the monologue Silvio made after being tipped with a kiss in chapter two, as he stated “and though my desire for a woman grows slowly, I play and replay the scenes and foresee the happiness a love of that sort would bring me, complete with riches and glory”, I found myself thinking this is exactly how I felt in grade nine after going on a date with my crush (Arlt, 79). It is such a teenage boy way of thinking, and it touches on deeper themes of compensated masculinity. The novel explored many different themes throughout the chapters from masculinity, escaping poverty under capitalism, and even suicidal ideation. The ways they were approached through a younger lens made it feel more relatable, especially as my current age was not too far removed from the protagonist.

What I personally could not wrap my head around after reading this novel was the ending. While I agree with its message to stay curious and find the joys of life, even when what is in front of you does not shine bright, I felt as though it was slammed in last minute to end on a high note. Throughout the novel, this messages and meanings I derived from it were not leading me to expect this kind of send off ending. My question for the other Romance Studiers is, did you think the ending message stayed thematic with the rest of the book?

Let me know what you think in the comments and I look forwarded to talking to you all about the book this Wednesday!

Proust’s “Combray”: A Narrative I Could Not Care About

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Hi Romance Studiers,

After reading Marcel Proust’s “Swann’s Way”, part 1 “Combray”, I found myself lost and dissatisfied. Conceptually, the idea of building a world through the lens of a child, and as they grow up and realize the beauty of the world they live in, so does the reader, was very interesting. The execution of said idea did not create the effect on me that I wish it did. I found myself disinterested in the story due to its lack of conflict or driving force for the main character. The entire segment created this word full of characters and personality but nothing of substance actually happening within it. I believe the way I interpreted this novel was heavily affected by three main elements of the way this story was written.

The key element of my disinterest was the way the sentences were structured. Run-on sentences are sentences that lack a period, often feeling as if they have no end to them and contain too much detail for a singular point. Marcel Proust did not just write run-on sentences, they were entire marathon sentences. At times, I felt that an entire page was contained within two never ending sentences that had no direction. These sentences would contain so much detail about the character’s surroundings or how a singular character was dressed that I would lose interest half way down the page. I simply did not care to know that much detail about a character that it caused me to lose interest in the entire story. The story also would have benefitted by splitting segments off using chapters. Without chapters, it felt like the ramblings of a mind with no endpoint, making the act of reading this story exhausting. The other main element of the novel that led to my disinterest was the lack of narrative.

This story follows the inner thoughts of a child as they grow up in this city and how they characterize their different aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I quickly came to the realization that nothing actually happens. I did not care too know about these characters because the story gave me no reason to care. It was so much exposition yet it lacked any substance. Reading this story felt like a chore to me, and I wished it could have held my attention better by giving me things to care about.

There was one part of the story that did intrigue me and helped me relate with the protagonist, that was around page 95 to 100 when he narrated his thoughts of Bergotte. Specifically around page 98 when he talked about being insecure with his writing, but then finding something Bergotte wrote that was very similar, and only after reading Bergotte’s work would he feel that his writing was solid. This idea of feeling validated about one’s work only after their idol has done something similar is something I personally experience all the time when I write music. I often feel scared that what I am producing is not worth being called art, but when I listen to other artists that I look up to and hear them produce similar flows or ideas, I too feel validated with my own work afterwards.

My question to the class regarding Proust’s “Combray” is, were there any segments of the book that you personally related to?

Excited to see you all in class and hear your thoughts as well 🙂