T&T and Partying
I can’t say I’m a very big fan of parties. I can enjoy a get together, but I don’t enjoy parties. Nothing on the people who do, that’s great for them, but I can’t stand it.
Frankly, I’m beginning to feel quite alone on the matter.
This is the first time I’m spending a Friday night here on campus. I usually take off after class to go home, but there’s a Model UN meeting tomorrow so I have to stay. It feels like everyone and their dog is out having a good time, getting drunk (or high, let’s not deny that), dancing to rad music and getting rubbed up all over with friends, new friends, more-than-friends and friends with benefits.
Me? Well, I just spent the last hour and a half listening to a wonderful podcast by CGPGrey. I shouldn’t complain, really. If I wanted to have the same Friday night experience as everyone, it isn’t too difficult to go to any one of the many parties around campus. I just have to be brave enough – or drunk enough – to go do it. Problem is that I’m not.
I can barely stand the crowds at T&T, let alone the one on the dance floor.
For those of us who are unaware, T&T is a big name Asian supermarket around here. There’s usually quiet elevator music in the background, which does not go well with the highly charged atmosphere created by hoards of eager customers trying to get the best clump of green veggie. Navigating a cart through these narrow, crowded, unpredictable and damp aisles is an achievement all by itself. Staying sane while trying to line up at a cashier without clogging up the entire aisle is another. Searching for that one pesky packet of whatever as an impatient old woman leers you down while she waits for her turn to scour that section of the shelves is another. Anyway, it’s insane on weekend mornings.
Anyway, I get really grouchy when I’m stuck in a crowd of unmoving people. I also get grouchy when things get too noisy (seriously, places where I have to yell to be heard is a pet peeve), and I don’t see the point of drinking for the sake (Hah! Get it? Sake? Like that Japanese wine – no? I’m lame and that was lame? That’s how you know a pun was sick) of getting drunk.
I’m beginning to see that I might be coming off as too holier-than-thou with this partying thing. I’m not trying to do that, and I apologize if I am, but it’s just my perspective on it.
So why the hell are you complaining then? Why not just, oh I don’t know, not go?
Alright, here’s the thing. After I got accepted to university, and before I actually started, I cannot tell you how many people have laughed and scoffed and joke with this grin before giving the advice: “Don’t party too hard!” And then, in the same breath, they’d turn to my parents and warn them about the partying I as going to do, and how dangerous it is and so on. I couldn’t tell if they were being serious. It was one of those ‘oh, look at em’ young ‘uns doing their young thaaaangs’. It felt almost expected of me, and now that I’m here one month in without having partied a lick, I feel sort of like…like a failure.
I know why I don’t like parties. I know why I don’t go. I’m starting to question whether being this way is…correct. And I shouldn’t be thinking that way, but the peer pressure is invisible and suffocating. Nobody is straight up telling me to do it, but the whispers of ‘oh last night’s party was so fun!’ and ‘you should have seen _____ do that thing at that party, it was so funny!’ is enough to plant a little seed of doubt.
I don’t know what to do about it. Am I being anti-social? Am I being snobby? Am I wasting the money I spent to stay on rez? Am I somehow wasting my valuable youth by not going out and letting go? Am I letting Elsa down?
Maybe I’m just kind of lonely and can’t seem to find the right group of people to click with. Maybe it’s because the kinds of people I like tend to also, like me, hole up in their rooms whilst writing rant-y blogs on the internet. Maybe things will get better later in the year, or later in my university career. Maybe I’m just whining too much. Oh boo hoo, pity me. No, not really. I’m not going to die or anything, but I kind of want to know whether I’m alone on the issue.
(And for the people who can actually somehow relate to any of this…wanna hang out sometime?)
Thank you for submitting this piece, it is very relateable to me as well! I’m a third year and I have been dealing with your exact same situation in first and second year. My friends used to go out and party so much, while I stayed at home Friday nights reading my favorite book or watching my all time favorite chick flick so I can cry myself to sleep (just kidding I never did that, that’s embaressing). Joking again. I would always hear back from them “omg I was so drunk, puked everywhere” or “that was a ssicckkk party”. I was quite an anti-social person where I would commute an hour to class, attend lecture, and then bus an hour ride back home. I would say that my university life before was very mundane. I just didn’t like the feeling of parties where the main purpose is to get drunk, “meet people” and forget what had happened when you get up the next morning.
But now in third year, I still don’t go to parties often. But what I realize over the past 3 years in university is that there are 2 different types of people on campus- ones who party hard, and ones who just prefers being at home or at a coffee shop reading a novel with a cup of cappucino at hand. People like me- who enjoys listening to smooth jazz, being myself, instead of attending a sweaty environment with blasting music and people grinding against you. I would say I’m more on the relaxing, mellow side, where I just like to be by myself sometimes to relax and recharge. So ya, what I’m trying to say is that do what you gotta do. Do what you want to do. Be yourself, and do what you love (whether it’s blogging in your room or reading a book). Don’t worry about what you hear about parties, because in the end, the people probably won’t even remember what happened at the party. You on the other hand, are fully conscious of your actions and your ability to intellectually write an awesome piece about your university life.
I’m in my 6th year at UBC and I haven’t been to a party here ever, even though I now live on campus (technically, Wesbrook Village). The important thing is whether or not you’re fine with it — whether or not you’ll regret not going to more parties later on in your life. If you are fine with it, then all’s good! There’s no need to fit stereotypes that have been pushed onto you.
I’m a grad student from ubc. I never went to any parties at ubc. In life we regret the things we didn’t do more than the things we did. Everything is an experience. Don’t be embarrassed to put yourself out there !you don’t have to be drunk to go to a party !be confident, be yourself.