The work of Proust is a reflection of revisiting childhood memories, revealing the inherent inconsistencies that underscore our limited understanding as children. Essentially, it brings upon many ideas of what it’s like to look back upon the memories you have as a child. The inconsistencies, for example, show how small our minds were and our contentment with the lack of context in our lives, whereas as adults we yearn to know more about our own identity. Conceivably, some people do this to look back later and try to grasp the depth of our lives back at that time. That’s something many people do as they grow up; trying to fill in the gaps. The narrator is very relatable about trying to show us the search for understanding our identity, so intertwined with our upbringing. It makes me curious though, as to why people look back in the past. What purpose does this serve, specifically for the narrator in this book? While reading “Combray,” I took away some answers. Looking back at the scene where the narrator wants his mom to comfort him in his room, going to bed. I understood how a child needs a Mother’s affection, though it was a little confusing or troubling to see how disapproving, specifically, the father was of this idea. Now, I feel that many of us adults, at some point in our childhood, remember a guardian talking and kissing them in bed. It’s very typical for this to occur, yet why is it that the father is therefore concerned? Our childhoods are not the same, just like how our adulthood is not the same. However, some things would be deemed ‘abnormal’ by some. Is it that the narrator is struggling with some sort of childhood trauma? And that to come to terms with seeing if it is, he is looking back at his childhood. To add on, the narrator explains that when he looks back at that time, it’s practically as if he is not that person. In no way am I saying that the narrator had a ‘bad childhood’ as I relate to some things, and I certainly think I had a wonderful childhood. For example, the narrator prefaces that the memories of the eras of his past life are somewhat surreal, and more unreal than the projections of a magic lantern- that is seemingly a very childish thought. The quotation “I is an other” by poet Arthur Rimbaud, mentioned in the lecture video, shows how I see the narrator’s perception of memories in the most literal sense. The narrator is grappling with the elusiveness of these memories, emphasizing the sense of disconnection from the past. I also see that in how the narrator recognizes the places he lived in, which can add to one’s identity. In the book, the way which the town is described is of “dreary streets” and “solemn names,” suggesting a sense of melancholy, does this possibly add to the dark memories of his childhood which links to the inability look at these memories, like it’s the first time he has understood it. I think it all goes down to the “Combray ” being a memoir for the narrator. A telling story for the time of his childhood, the place he lived, and the family he had. Only to look back at these childhood memories to build more of his identity. 

A question: Do you think there is an underlying issue of childhood trauma for the narrator?