The work of Proust is a reflection of revisiting childhood memories, revealing the inherent inconsistencies that underscore our limited understanding as children. Essentially, it brings upon many ideas of what it’s like to look back upon the memories you have as a child. The inconsistencies, for example, show how small our minds were and our contentment with the lack of context in our lives, whereas as adults we yearn to know more about our own identity. Conceivably, some people do this to look back later and try to grasp the depth of our lives back at that time. That’s something many people do as they grow up; trying to fill in the gaps. The narrator is very relatable about trying to show us the search for understanding our identity, so intertwined with our upbringing. It makes me curious though, as to why people look back in the past. What purpose does this serve, specifically for the narrator in this book? While reading “Combray,” I took away some answers. Looking back at the scene where the narrator wants his mom to comfort him in his room, going to bed. I understood how a child needs a Mother’s affection, though it was a little confusing or troubling to see how disapproving, specifically, the father was of this idea. Now, I feel that many of us adults, at some point in our childhood, remember a guardian talking and kissing them in bed. It’s very typical for this to occur, yet why is it that the father is therefore concerned? Our childhoods are not the same, just like how our adulthood is not the same. However, some things would be deemed ‘abnormal’ by some. Is it that the narrator is struggling with some sort of childhood trauma? And that to come to terms with seeing if it is, he is looking back at his childhood. To add on, the narrator explains that when he looks back at that time, it’s practically as if he is not that person. In no way am I saying that the narrator had a ‘bad childhood’ as I relate to some things, and I certainly think I had a wonderful childhood. For example, the narrator prefaces that the memories of the eras of his past life are somewhat surreal, and more unreal than the projections of a magic lantern- that is seemingly a very childish thought. The quotation “I is an other” by poet Arthur Rimbaud, mentioned in the lecture video, shows how I see the narrator’s perception of memories in the most literal sense. The narrator is grappling with the elusiveness of these memories, emphasizing the sense of disconnection from the past. I also see that in how the narrator recognizes the places he lived in, which can add to one’s identity. In the book, the way which the town is described is of “dreary streets” and “solemn names,” suggesting a sense of melancholy, does this possibly add to the dark memories of his childhood which links to the inability look at these memories, like it’s the first time he has understood it. I think it all goes down to the “Combray ” being a memoir for the narrator. A telling story for the time of his childhood, the place he lived, and the family he had. Only to look back at these childhood memories to build more of his identity.
A question: Do you think there is an underlying issue of childhood trauma for the narrator?
“it was a little confusing or troubling to see how disapproving, specifically, the father was of this idea.”
Indeed, though in fact (if you remember) in the end it’s the father who says “yes” to the mother staying the night (in fact) in the child’s room. And this leads to a comment about different kinds of authority: the father’s is much more capricious and arbitrary, in fact. The mother, however, is more consistent. But it seems that there are positive and negative aspects to both styles.
Adia, as always, many interesting questions! I would tell you that although there is a melancholic tone in the narrative, the situation it tells is not at all idyllic. Maybe that feeling of fragility has to do with the trauma you speculate about? What do they tell us and what do they not tell us from a child’s perspective? Doesn’t it make you wonder when we’ll discover that hidden side of his childhood life?
Hi Adia, I really liked your ideas. I think that there is a definite identity being constructed for the readers as the book develops and we are shown some of the driving factors. I’d also say there is some sort of childhood disturbance perhaps trauma underneath the dynamic with his parents Especially as we see the reaction to the author breaking habits, there is some emotional issue building or already built. His mental processes when he does not receive a kiss goodnight or finds himself in circumstances that are outside of his comfort zone appear to cause a lot of stress and pessimistic views about his life that I would say come from childhood experiences.
Hi, Adia, I really appreciate how you brought in the perspective of trying to fill in the gaps as a child. I feel like a lot of childhood memories that I have too were made even more complex not because of reality but actually from my own imagination creating stories of how I interpreted the scenario. To answer your question I think that there is some mention of underlying childhood trauma especially in the exert with his uncle and why he was no longer allowed to see him. As a child Proust did not understand the situation because as you described perhaps his brain was too small, but I think the situation may have have left him confused.
Hi Adia, I loved your perspective on the book! I believe that there was some amount of childhood trauma in the author’s memory especially while recalling the memories of his grandmother trying to persuade her husband to stop drinking. But these memories were overshadowed by positive emotions.