Women in Crazy Relationships- Season 5 Episode 100

Yet again another woman with a troubling life, by the social circumstances given by the men in her life. A book called “The Time of the Doves” by Mercè Rodoreda. The main character, Natalia starts off by working at a pastry shop and is persuaded by her friend Julieta to go to an event. That is where she meets a young man that gives her the nickname Colometa, meaning dove (I think). He is Quimet, and Natalia breaks up with Pere for him. This name comes through the book later on where a reader can see how Quimet, Natalia’s first husband, begins to collect doves. Natalia starts to get annoyed by the doves eventually, and starts messing with the eggs to get rid of them. From my perspective I see how she may feel like a confiscated dove as they are kept and sold. When for many people doves represent freedom, and nor the doves or Natalia has it. Natalia in the book also contemplates killing her children due to extreme hardship, after Quimet dies in war. This crazy thought of breaking the norms of ‘motherly love’ is also haunted by visions of hands and eggs from the birds. In many ways, it’s probably because the dove selling business Quimet loved and had brought them income to live. Even though the doves troubled Natalia, it maybe felt wrong to ‘throw away’ one of the most important things of her dead husband’s life. Overall, Natalia was struggling with poverty and loss, including the death of her father and Quimet. The story does a good job (in no way is it a good situation) at showing the harsh realities of war and the toll it takes on individuals and families. I kind of wished Natalia left amongst the other people in the city, as maybe she wouldn’t have considered murder. Natalia was probably hoping for a better future, even though people were still being shot in the square of the city. She chose to be in disbelief, but it’s a dangerous thought to be in. She eventually sells her belongings, tries to find work, and doesn’t kill her children with some chemical. Which is one of the great parts of the book. Although, as a result of this situation in the book, it made me think about the amount of people who don’t leave a city that’s in a bad state because of their patriotism towards the country. I have my mom’s side of the family back home in Afghanistan as of right now that fell victim to sticking around for “better times.” They regret it now.

I think a big chuck of the book had me thinking about Quimet and Natalia’s relationship. I think Natalia is facing those conflicts because she doesn’t know how to live without him. Quimet controlled Natalia, from the jealousy from the get-go, making Natalia break up with Pere. Honestly, justice for Pere because his heart was torn from somehow happening to be in between Quimet and Natalia’s crazy love story. Pere was crying and said how she “wrecked his life.” Even Natalia felt bad, but is she genuinely? I think Natalie was busy thinking about the sexual energy between her and the “handsome, young man” (very repeatedly said by her), to even care about the reality of her life. She was actively dismissed by Quimet, like for example there’s a part in the book where Natalia tells Quimet how she dislikes Gaudi’s buildings and he essentially tells her that as a wife she has to like everything he likes. They have great moments though, like how Quimet buys a motorcycle and talks about having kids (way too much). But isn’t that the same storyline as every toxic relationship. In my opinion, I didn’t like their relationship. I don’t think love or sexual tension is enough to keep a relationship healthy for both people in it. Because, that can easily go away.

I know the main debate for many people is: Did you think Natalia is right for considering killing her children, given the circumstances? Also did you like Quimet and Natalia’s relationship?

8 thoughts on “Women in Crazy Relationships- Season 5 Episode 100

  1. gracem15

    Hi Adia! I had similar questions to you after reading this book. I honestly don’t think I am in a place to judge Natalia because I’ve never experienced the hardships she has experienced. I do understand her though, and empathize with her situation. It’s kind of bad but I would probably contemplate or have the same thoughts she did if I saw my children struggling so much. Natalia was surrounded with so much pain and despair that she thought death would be better than the life they were living. All in all though, I am so glad that she had her “happy” ending.

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  2. Jon

    So you talk about Quimet, and you want justice for Pere… but I wonder what you think of Natalia’s final relationship with the chemist? (If I remember right that he’s a chemist… I’ve yet to re-read the book.)

    Reply
    1. Adia Latifi

      The final relationship, I felt didn’t have any relevance to the book. His name is Antoni, I believe. Funny enough his name was the same as his son she had with Quimet. He was living a little bit of an ok life in comparison to Natalia. I guess their partnership was good and they did love each other a bit from what I noticed in the book. Antoni seemed very sweet. I think there’s a page in the book where Antoni said to Natalia, a day after their marriage to stop cooking and that if she needed a maid, they could hire a woman for that instead. He was genuine with Natalia and wanted to raise and provide for their family. He was the right guy to grow old with, in comparison to the rest of the guys in the book.

      Reply
      1. Jon

        (Now I’ve finished re-reading… he’s a grocer, right? I think I’d mis-remembered he was a chemist because he was the one from whom Natalia bought the hydrochloric acid.)

        I’m not sure he “didn’t have any relevance”! He’s sweet, as you say. But he’s also damaged by the war–for some reason this has left him infertile. And yet het takes on the figure of father by the end. I think he’s interesting! 🙂

        Reply
  3. Jialu Xu

    Hi, Adia,
    I really enjoy reading your blog post. Regarding the first question you raised, I feel that in the circumstances at that time, we might not necessarily have handled it better than she did. In such a desperate environment, especially after experiencing a series of seemingly minor failures, the accumulation of these failures can be exceptionally disheartening. Therefore, in such a situation, her desire to kill her child was not really about wanting death, but rather seeking a form of relief. (It was a form of relief for the child as well, at least from her perspective at the time.)
    Jialu (Lucy) Xu

    Reply
  4. Katie Wong

    Hi Adia! I appreciated your thoughts and how you connected the story to your real life. I wish all the best for you and your family. In response to your ideas about Natalia and Quimet’s relationship, I thought it was interesting how you mentioned she doesn’t know how to live without him. I wasn’t the biggest fan of their relationship, mainly because of Quimet’s insensitive and manipulative behaviour. Despite all this, I can see how Natalia struggles to live without him, especially since he was a significant part of her life, whether it was good or bad.

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