I found that the book Zeitoun by Dave Eggers was a compelling story about a tragedy which was particularly interesting because of it’s relevance still today in New Orleans. The book tells a wonderful story of a man with an interesting past who puts his life on the line to save others, only to receive less than adequate treatment in return. His life takes a dramatic turn when he is imprisoned and unable to call his family. Reading the book I came to realize that a tragedy like such not only brings people together, but also solidifies certain divides within families. My intentions were for this blog post to discuss the divides tragedy creates in society, but my mind was changed when I looked up Zeitoun and his family on google.
Many articles I found discussed how he was falsely portrayed in the book as a hero as he faced charges for abusing his wife. Was his idealized character falsely portrayed? As I have been focussing on defining a hero this semester, from my research I still consider Zeitoun a hero for the help he offered others during hurricane Katrina. For this reason, finding out about his family situation after reading the book about such a seemingly beautiful family was upsetting. Although some content online has surfaced where his wife Kathy discusses that their relationship was not ideal before the hurricane, but from what I understand, the abuse was worsened after.
Assuming that their family situation went downhill after the event it led me to think about trauma-bonding, as we have focussed on earlier in this course. Reflecting on this book led me to consider when trauma leads to individuals feeling unbound rather than bonding over the trauma. Hurricane Katrina had a profound impact on peoples lives, seeing that a man who acted so heroically during the event became so complicated and secluded after. Rather than using the trauma to become closer, as Oskar and his mother did at the end of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, the event causes Zeitoun to seclude himself.
It seems to me that when families face traumas they commonly deal with it one of two ways; they allow the event to bring them closer together or it pulls them apart. I think the outcome is dependant on the deep-rooted health of the family. Regardless of the situation the family was in when the trauma occurred, if they have a solid “base” of love, carefulness and understanding, then that will make all the difference. I have seen both outcomes take place in family friends. A good friend lost a member of her family in a traumatic accident, from the outside looking in, the family was clearly deeply hurt. Rather than dealing with the hurt as individuals, each family member helped the others out leaving everyone with someone to lean on. This created a beautiful bond which can never be taken away from them as they positively used the trauma to bring them together. On the other hand, I watched a beautiful family deal with the heartbreaking event of a chronic disease. The family was told their young daughter would not have a chance at a normal life and likely only live for a few more years. The young girl lost the ability to move and speak, but her beautiful smile kept the family motivated. Having a chronic illness brought her family together as they worked to care for her. The long awaited day finally came when their daughter was no longer able to breathe on her own. Despite the closeness of the family throughout the trauma, when they were finally able to step out of “survivor mode”, they did not know how to live happily and the family fell apart.
Trauma is a complicated topic which impacts everyone very differently. Reading Zeitoun and comparing it to other texts we have read throughout the semester solidified for me the varying level of what trauma can do to families. On one hand, it has potential to bring people together, but on the other it has the potential to bring others apart. Finding out the story about Zeitoun and Kathy’s relationship ending betrayed how he was portrayed in the book, but his heroic acts should not go unnoticed.
Alana Redka