Who am I? Such an ambiguous question that had me thinking about my identity, which later progressed to me questioning my existence by the end of the novel. Now, before I dive into an “analysis” of the novel and pick it apart, I want to point out that this novel had me going through so many emotions, like a wave...torrential waves to be exact. Also, can I just say I thoroughly loved the philosophical elements to it because as a partial philosophy major it’s nice to read things focused on realism and existence, that doesn’t require a written paper at the end :)

To start the writing style of the novel was unique and while it was confusing and hard to follow at times, I quite liked it. Compared to last weeks “Combray”, the writing style here at least made sense (to me). The non-linear and sort of all over the place writing was just another added element, that worked well with novels theme of sanity and reality. It felt like as the story progressed the narrator slowly began to lose his own sanity, kind of like Louis Wain and his cat drawings. The blend, well more like a jumble, between reality and imagination was constantly portrayed throughout the novel and at times it was hard to tell what was true or not.

Touching more on the imagination aspect, I didn’t quite know what to make of Nadja as a character. I genuinely didn’t know if she was real or just a figment of the narrator’s imagination. At times she felt so real because the sadness she brought forth intertwined with her spontaneity made it feel as though she existed, like how could it be that a character with so much depth could be fake?? However, at other times her erratic behaviour and the stories she told made it seem as though she wasn’t real. It frustrated me that I couldn’t figure out whether she was real and I felt as though I was going mad trying to uncover the truth. The reality surrounding her existence will continue to haunt me (hehe see what I did there).

Expanding a bit more on Nadja’s existence, I’d like to think that if she wasn’t a real person, she was instead an embodiment for the narrator’s subconscious. A symbol for his desires and fears that he didn’t know how to showcase himself. Compared to how the narrator was portrayed, as being idealistic and self-conscious, Nadja was shown as being the complete opposite. With that in mind, it is possible that Nadja having her breakdown and being sent away, was really just the narrator having his own breakdown and coming to terms with who he was.

Overall, I will say I liked the novel, including the frustrating parts :)

Question to think about: How did the ambiguity surrounding Nadja’s presence further blur the lines between reality and imagination?