I’ll leave this as an archive of my first year – if you want to read more from me (I don’t know why?) check out my new blog: https://angeladai1.wordpress.com/
Fears are crashing ocean waves. What differentiates an outstanding student from other students is that they approach the waves, create a plan to leave the shore and embrace the rocky journey towards their destination.
That’s what I had written on my cover letter for the award application, I’d love to leave you with this in my final post on this blog.
So I looked up my last semester’s goals for this term…
- Participate in a case competition
- IF PVCC VC simulation counts, then it happened. Otherwise, didn’t get JDC west academic or attend other case comps…
- Learn to master an interview
- This is still a work in progress. I still am internally dying during interviews, and I really didn’t do well for COMM 202 interview. It was very stressful. I was very awkward. But, we all start from somewhere, and because I’m not a naturally talkative and loud person, I have room to grow~
- Find some sort of plans for the summer – internship? Figure out what to study for (CSC, GMAT if I’m considering an MBA?)
- Taking summer classes instead. Still incredibly upset at myself for dropping FA by accident, but to put it in perspective, I don’t need to take the course now.
- Get that 4.0 (4.33??? :O) GPA if possible
- With that math final? Probably not happening. My time management skills went to the trash when trying to balance two finals in a row, and I ultimately can’t do anything about that either.
- In the long term, after I figure out if I will pursue Finance or not, I’d really like to make myself as appealing as possible for the PMF program… but those are some thin, thin, thin chances of me getting in.
- PMF program is not the end all be all. I’m not sure if I want to do research, more interested in financial advising. We’ll see, but going for second year rep has definitely put my name out there? Hmm.
Technically I didn’t “succeed” in any goal at all! How hilarious!
But wow, first year is over? This year has been absolutely phenomenal. So many ups, so many downs, and so much learning.
If you told me a year ago not only did I not have to worry about Sauder admission and that I’d not just survive but the UGO would decide to give me an award, I would have cried in joy right then and there because IB exams were stressing me out so much in April and I wasn’t admitted anywhere.
Also, if you told me that I would humiliate myself during interviews, pretty much fail a final, and accidentally drop courses, I would have been incredibly annoyed with myself.
I am so, so thankful that Sauder did decide to admit me because I am honestly in love with the culture here. People work hard and play harder. I felt lonely at first, but I’ve made such great friends here that I can rely on when I don’t feel that I can believe myself.
Because I’m a more reserved, quieter person, I still am really surprised when people ask me if I’m Angela. Granted, running for elections means that I have to put myself out there (and I want to!) so that I can properly represent people and that I am always open to listen to suggestions for CUS. But I’m not a completely nobody? I’m not a stranger? That’s such a … weird thing for me still. I’m just a derp after all?
The best thing out of first year is that I fully understand the UBC motto, tuum est. It’s yours.
Your destiny, your life, it’s for YOU to create.
YOU decide how kind you will be to yourself.
YOU decide how much to study, how much to party.
YOU decide what to eat, how much to exercise.
YOU decide how many good friendships to keep and how many toxic friendships to cut.
The best thing about university and being an adult is that you’re in control of your life. YOU also decide how much you’ll negotiate with your parents on how independent or reliant you’ll be as your relationship changes.
Realising that I have complete autonomy over what I do is a very powerful thing. I can be aware of the pressures around me, but I choose how to deal with them.
You are the person who gives yourself permission to have power.
One part of me worries that I’ll plateau and fall from here. I worry that I’ll be a disappointment of a rep, and that in comparison, I’m not committing myself as I did this year. I’m not going for the harder programs, getting the higher marks, etc.
Another part of me is excited. Excited to follow my own paths and strengths. Doing the things that I want to do, not things that just make people think of me in awe. I’m excited to learn more about public speaking but also VERY NERVOUS. I’m excited to meet faculty and other staff who are working to improve Sauder in the various committees, whether academic or even for our building.
Do I wish that I lived on residence? Sometimes. But I would not have been able to meet some of my closest friends on the bus, and I’ve had some of the best conversations with my parents on the car ride to Bridgeport station.
Except for my math final, I feel that I’ve left first year really really happy.
Thank YOU, to everyone who has read my posts and commented, and also people who just message me saying they found my mind dumps to be interesting and insightful! I usually hide a lot of these types of thoughts beneath the surface in conversation, since I always fall back on listening rather than talking. I don’t know how to bring these things up in conversation???
Thank you UBC Blog Squad for letting me share these experiences and giving me a space to reflect!
See you on my new blog!