Hello readers!

Welcome to my post about home, which to me is so many things than just a place. Home is a very specific feeling, articulated by a specific ambiance encapsulated of many small things.

It is a mug of tea, brewed perfectly and set to steep for just the right amount of time, with just a splash of milk.

It is loud laughter, uncontrollable and free in its abundance.

It is soft fur in between fingers, purring beneath my palm.

It is a warm hug after a long day, the safety of being held.

Home is so many things like this, and I have found it in so many more places than just the city where I was born. Throughout the first 7 years of my life was a certain feeling of unrest, as my family moved a lot around the Vancouver area. At one point we lived in the basement of a retirement home. In the summer of 2004 we eventually moved to a brand new townhouse in South Surrey. I will never forget how different it felt to move from a busy city to a quiet suburb. I finally had a small bedroom to myself, but it still didn’t feel like home. Later that summer, my dad brought me home a cat, as I’d always wanted one. I loved her and named her Oreo, but the townhouse still didn’t feel like home.

Sixteen years later, Oreo has passed away and I have a new cat named Bree. I also have a dog named Koda. My parents divorced when I was 10, and I still live in the townhouse with my mum and brother, minus dad of course. I moved into a larger bedroom in the townhouse in 2013, which is much more comfortable. I wish I kept it cleaner, but my life is absolute chaos most of the time. But I try. And as much as I try to love this place where I live, it still doesn’t feel like home.

What does feel like home is England. Back in 1980 when my dad was 16 years old, he and his family (mum, dad and younger sister) moved to Vancouver from Doncaster, England. He went back in 1982 and joined the British military but left in 1986 and came back to Vancouver. He always encouraged me to visit and I finally was able to last February. As soon as I arrived in England, I immediately felt something different about being there. It had that whole ambiance I was talking about. Especially the tea. I stayed with family all over the country that I’d never met before, but connected with instantly. At the time I could hardly explain the feeling, but now I know that I felt at home. My 17 days there passed by quickly, and ever since arriving back here in Vancouver… I’ve been counting down the days until I can go back.

I’m now posting an update on my instagram story, a live countdown. I head back to England on Monday (February 3rd) for a whole 29 days! I am much more prepared than last time, with a UK SIM card for my phone, more GBP cash and a much bigger suitcase.

The more I think about why England feels so much like home to me I realize that is partly because of the weight its history bears, such as the story of William Brewster. My family there all live in homes much older than Canada itself. For example, a faction of them live in a 3 generation home in Scrooby, Nottinghamshire.

Yes, we do call them The Scrooby Gang, because who would want to miss out on a Scooby Doo reference? The village of Scrooby itself has only 329 people, 5 of which are my family members. I can jog through the whole village of red brick buildings in less than 30 minutes without getting lost. I wonder if the sense of familiarity and connection I feel to everything there is in my blood, or is it just in my mind? However I felt that same way all over the country, in Leeds, York, Brighton and London.

I get the feeling that next time I visit will be for much longer than a month, and I may even end up moving to England at some point in the next couple of years. The sense of home I get from there is so much more even than the ambiance I described. It’s also my sense of self, which feels so much more in tune with who I want to be while I’m there. I look forward to exploring more of it on this second visit!

Notes:

My family in Scrooby actually own and operate the website I’ve hyperlinked .

 

Works Cited:

“Brewster-William.” MayflowerHistory.com, mayflowerhistory.com/brewster-william.

Nottinghamshire. “Scrooby, Nottinghamshire.” Scrooby, Nottinghamshire, scrooby.net/page/homeSection.

Nottinghamshire. “Scrooby in Old Postcards and Photographs.” Scrooby, Nottinghamshire, www.scrooby.net/page/oldPostcards.