June 2011 – Page 2

I’ve been listening to this song by One Republic each night as I fall asleep: Lullaby.

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June 8

Homesickness hits unexpectedly, as I anticipated it. It feels like apathy, manifesting itself as indifference, carelessness, and even selfishness. Being as sentimental in nature as I am, it urges me to look through the photos of friends and family which I brought from home. It tires me out easily, and makes me susceptible to irritation at simple things like insects or heat. I am tempted to sit here, to wallow in it with my earphones on, blocking out the realities of this village.

There’re so many challenges to our project planning. There are a lot of people to accommodate, and it’s a different experience planning debate conference from Vancouver altogether. We are all intent on making our projects work, and all keen on learning as much as we can to stay afloat in this new culture. Sometimes, this means that we have to fend for ourselves when faced with homesick feelings or apprehension at new things we must overcome.

I think this will pass soon. I wish it will, because it’s kept me from reflecting as effectively as I know I can and should. I would like to go to bed and curl up and sleep.

6:30 PM

Presenting to the classes at the high schools in this region is always a challenge because there are so many students in each class. It’s really a test of my public speaking skills, as well as my confidence. It gets easier with each class, though, which is a relief. Today I visited the last of the schools to visit, totalling six. The biggest challenge in organizing the Reading Clubs and the inter- school events has definitely been to figure out how to delegate responsibilities. There are so many high school students to manage that it gets overwhelming to the point of being inefficient. But I’m glad that Hannali gave me good advice that allowed me to delegate accordingly and really believe in my own leadership decisions.

I think that the people here are as uncomfortable and afraid of me as I am of them. Why do we have this divide? What causes the discomfort? Misunderstanding? Language? Currency? Motivation? Upbringing? Intentions?

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June 11, 2011

I’ve realized, while experiencing homesickness, that I only need to feel comfortable with myself and with my environment for me to feel at home.

I also find it difficult to separate myself from yearnings that come with longing for home and the ‘luxuries’ which we so easily call our essentials. Sometimes I am most conflicted because I can see that villagers face the realities which cause me to yearn for home every single day, as they have and will for the rest of their lives.

Trees touch windows say their hellos
Hear this house as it settles in
Worry slips away it don’t know your name
It don’t know where to find us

Kindergarten

(June 1)

It’s not fair that any of these children were born under these conditions. There are too many of them, and not enough resources, nor an efficient system, to serve them and/or train them into the best citizens that they can be for their country, their families, and themselves.

The little boy with the club foot, Josie, is just lying on the mat while the kids all play outside.

As each mother brings their child, they do it out of love for their kids’ well being.. but, as each new child is brought in to the kindergarten, it in turn jeopardizes their own chances of learning well because more and more children are brought in. The kids all end up just sitting there, not learning much. How do we overcome this problem??

Kindergarten.

The classroom became more of a daycare, as children kept arriving. At the most count, there were close to 50 children in that one small room. It was incredible to see all their little slippers outside the classroom. It was a sign to hear all the children sing the ‘Baby Jesus’ song to start off the class. I’m still figuring out what I think of the intricate tie between religion and education here.

Pretty soon, the sheer number of kids caused mayhem, and then we started to understand why teachers here use threats of punishment to control the students… it was impossible to manage all the interruptions as children cry, argue, tire, inquire, etc… Teaching in this cultural setting (i.e. having so many children in one room) requires a totally different set of skills than those used in our system back home. In N.A., teachers use particular sets of teaching styles, material, punishment, etc., to teach different grades. In that one room, there were children ranging from 3 years old to 7 years old. When a 3 year old started crying, the volunteer, Harriet, who was also our translator, called on his 8 year old sister to take care of him and stop his crying. How is that inductive to her learning at all? I’ve never seen an 8 year old called upon to care for her 3 year old little brother in a classroom setting.

Toward the end of our class, we were all exhausted. We wondered, how does the system here work?! What kind of system can accommodate for all these children and people and chaos? Step back, step back. Culture shock is all. We saw an older teenager, 18 years old or so, take the aforementioned 3 year old little guy, and their relationship was so comfortable and amazing that we began to appreciate the culture of the community… relationships between young and old and families are so important and so strong that somehow all the ‘chaos’ is manageable, and the community sustains its own system of learning and living.